Tuesday, July 16, 2013

UBC day 16 - Some people, I tell you....


My neighbor “G” had come home to return my bowl in which I had sent her some kheer (pudding) yesterday. I called her in and offered her some dosa that I had made. I know she loves dosa and couldn’t refuse. She settled at the dining table while I made crisp dosas for her. I came out with 3 plates, and setting it on the table, called my help Ashwini to come and join us.

Ashwini pulled a chair and was about to sit down when G let out a gasp. She bent close to my ear, and whispered, “She’s sitting with us?”

I nodded. “She always does.”

“Have you lost it?” she asked me. “How can you ask her to sit with us?”

Ashwini was suddenly uncomfortable and she picked up her plate. “Didi, I’ll sit in the other room,” she said and walked away.

I felt really bad for her. I usually have a late breakfast and it’s kind of a habit now that I have my breakfast with Ashwini every day, once she’s done with the chores. She is a lovely girl and she loves chatting with me telling me about her college and friends. She shares her problems with me, and I teach her English.

I saw her finish her dosa quickly and she left with a silent ‘bye.’

After she had left, I told G that Ashwini must have felt bad.

“What’s there to feel bad?” she said, “She must know her place.”

“I don’t think you must differentiate like that,” I began.

“How can you make her sit at the table with you?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

She didn’t bother to answer.

“And to top it you are serving her hot food in your regular plates.” The stress on hot was not lost on me.

“What????” 

“She doesn’t even have a separate plate?”

I had had enough of that rubbish.

“She works in 3 homes in the morning and then goes to college, G. She is exactly like you and me. If anything separates us, it’s our financial condition. With all the hard work she does, she’s bound to come up in life some day. She’s a lovely girl.”

G wasn’t impressed.

“If my mother-in-law knows this, she will never eat in your house again.” She said as she popped the last piece of dosa in her mouth and stood up to leave even as I wondered if I should give her a piece of my mind.

Some people, I tell you….




24 comments:

  1. The social identity is mostly responsible for this unproductive where we are living .. i guess some people lack the moral value .. and getting just education does not make you educated .. nice to know you are helping her with English.. keep the good work .. and people reading this will get some inspiration out of it

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    1. true..for some people, they just went to school. Ashwini is far better educated that way!

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  2. I enjoyed reading this. I can imagine that the neighbour thought she was saving the very fabric of society. Good for you for pushing against the 'accepted' way of doing things. We need more people to be like this.
    Unfortunately, people like Mrs. G are the norm. Let's change that.

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    1. and to top it she's threatening me that her MIL will not eat in my house! as if that's my biggest worry!

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  3. Dear Princess,
    I hate your Neighbor. U are a wonderful Person, She wouldve got a earful from me..that ungrateful evil woman.
    I love my maid, Laxmi Auntie and she is a part of my family.
    and all my relatives and friends know better to respect her the way we do.
    I hate idiotic people like your neighbor, I am sorry. I rarely get this angry, but all I want to do right now is walk about her and slap her face!

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    1. i seriously wanted to do just that! one tight slap across her face.....and she's hardly a couple of years older to me..not that she's from a different generation!

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  4. God! How rude and inconsiderate! A similar incident happened at my place a few months ago. Summers were at their peak and my maid came to wash the utensils. She washed her hands and took the cold water from fridge and had it in a glass. A friend saw this and murmured, she is drinking cold water and has opened the fridge without asking you. I was like... what's wrong in that? Are the summers different for her? Is she not entitled to have cold water? And when we trust them to do our chores, is taking a water bottle from the fridge a big deal?
    It is amazing how some people think!

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    1. exactly! I apologised to Ashwini the next day, and she said, Didi, why should u feel sorry? and this is nothing, most of them give us yesterday's leftovers to eat....!!!

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  5. I am really glad Ashwini went inside.. really princess how can you ask Ashwini to sit and eat food with G... G should be really quarantined O_O .. poor ashwini :(

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    1. hahahaha..correct! poor me! I had to sit with G and eat! thankfully her MIL will now not eat in my house!

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  6. WOW, this really blows me away. Course I have never and will never be able to afford extra help like that but, I would never consider them any different than I am and would welcome them at the same table as me. How ridiculous! My mom always taught me that no one was better than I was, and I was better that no one. We all came into this world the same way and would leave it by dying. We are all God's children and is loved dearly equally by him. We are all the same. She was right. I so enjoy reading your blog!!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. I loved every word of you said! When some people think they are superior, I wonder if they ask themselves what have they ever done to feel superior?

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  7. sheesh!!
    what's wrong with her eating at the dining table?!!
    some people's mindsets refuse to change or adapt :(

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    1. There's a lot more than that....it's some stupid notion of being one up....and it's sick.

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  8. really? people with such thought still exist? :O
    i am at a loss of words.. :(

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    1. There are lots and lots of them like that.

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  9. Very sad state of affairs...good for you that you stood by your belief! Kudos, girl

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    1. this is what I have seen since childhood, my parents never treated our help differently. she was always a part of the family. And we learnt to do the same.

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  10. It is surprising that there are people who have such idiotic notions.You did well to speak out for Ashwini.

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    1. This girl is so attached to us, that even if she has to take a day off she will arrange for an alternative! Love always begets love..that's what I think.

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  11. I got irritated while reading G's reactions. I feel so strongly about such things I could have written a seperate post reading yours alone. Some things never change despite education and what not. I am glad to have a fellow blogger like you :)

    Richa

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    1. Isn't this girl much much more mature and educated than G? G will pass on her culture to her kids and they will do the same tomorrow.

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  12. Loved ur post!! Highlights the social strata discrimination still prevalent in our society, even in the so-called educated ones.

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  13. I know of ladies in Delhi, who refuse to let their maids use hot water from the geyser in the kitchen. In Delhi winters! Can you believe that!
    Indian mentality still needs to change a LOT!
    UBC Day 16 - "Ten On Tuesday: 10 Pick-Me-Ups"

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At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person..deep gratitude for those who have lighted the flame within me!! your comments will be appreciated..

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