I happened to
watch a reality show last night. The contestants had an option to choose their
partners. They would be shown AVs of two individuals and had to make a choice
of partner amongst the two, relying solely on their introductions. The first
guy was a confident sounding, good looking hunk, and the other a more homely,
or rather what you’d call husband material. The first lady choose the homely
guy over the hunk. Then walked in a second lady and was given the option to
choose between the hunk and another guy who spoke of how being a dad was his
greatest achievement ever, and needless to say, the daddy got chosen by the lady. In walked the third
lady, and the guy giving competition to the hunk was a man mired in
controversy. And yet again, the hunk was rejected and the other guy got
selected for “being honest.” When it
happened again for the fourth time and the fifth time, and it was evident that
people were reluctant to choose him, the hunk was finally given a choice to
choose among two women. The sad part was when neither of the women seemed happy
to be his partner, but one of them had to relent because he had the right to
choose!
Poor guy!
I couldn’t help
but notice how slowly but steadily his self-esteem had begun to crack under
that tough, confident avatar he wanted to show to the world. That made me
wonder what was so unlikeable about the guy that six women rejected him in a row!!
Positive
attitude v/s arrogance-
People love
individuals who have a positive attitude but when that attitude borders on arrogance,
it can repel people more strongly than the like poles of a bar magnet!
The hunk went on
and on about his achievements and though he probably intended it to be a
statement of his winning capabilities, he came across as being completely
arrogant.
God’s greatest
gift to mankind-
Yea, there are
people like that! People who think they are god’s greatest gift to mankind and
without them the human race would almost be extinct!
This guy behaved
like one of those kinds, heaping mounds of praise upon himself and listing what
he would hate in his probably partner. No one likes a perfect person, because
people believe there is no one who is perfect. If you are a human, you are
bound to have your shortcomings. Perhaps that is why even a guy with seemingly
questionable character got picked over this hunk, just because he was honest enough
to admit he had his short comings!
Also, nothing
puts off people more than telling them, don’t be my friend if you don’t have
these qualities. It is like putting a pre-condition to a relationship. Some might
feel being frank is a good thing, but again, there’s a thin line between being
frank and being rude.
Confidence v/s
over confidence-
Confidence can be
a great quality in a person. It makes people around you appreciate you more,
but when it starts hovering on the ‘over confidence’ side, it can be really damaging.
Over confidence often reeks of insecurity, it more like the fake smiles people
sport to hide their hurt, or the excessive talking people do when they are lying
or hiding a truth.
It was no wonder
then, that simple looking guys got picked up over that good looking hunk,
people who didn’t seem to have achieved much got picked over this guy who had won
lots of competitions, humble dads and committed boyfriends got picked over this
single-and-ready to mingle guy, even guys with questionable character got picked
over this seemingly perfect hunk.
I am not saying,
the hunk is a bad guy. He could be one of the best. Maybe all the women made
wrong choices by not choosing him. But that is price you pay for making the
wrong first impression. It’s good to think highly of oneself. But if that doesn’t
translate to others thinking the same about you, then you have failed
miserably.
Yea, I know
there could be another debate about “I don’t care what people think about me”.
And that is fine if you aren’t competing. But when you stand in a competitive
field, be it a reality show or a job interview or are making that all important
sales call with a new customer, first impressions do matter.
A lot.
I met a group of
virtual friends for the first time yesterday. I tried to think of what kind of
first impressions people made on me. For instance, I thought of Sid who quietly
went about charming his way into everyone’s heart, making everyone comfortable,
seeing to it that everybody ate well, being ever so gentle and yet never over
bearing. He was easily the apple of everyone’s eye! Then there was Vidya,
motherly, gentle, sweet, witty and caring. She spoke less, but whenever she
did, I loved her more!
First
impressions do matter. They often get etched into people’s minds. How they
interact with you after that, depends a lot on that first impression. And I
think the key to making that awesome first impression is by being you. Not trying to be someone you would like to be,
not imitating someone else, not coming across as fake, not being arrogant or
bitchy.
I wonder what
kind of first impression I make on people.
Hmm…point to ponder.
