Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Write Tribe - day 4- Maangalyam Tantunamena.....

|| Mangalyam tantunanena mama jeevana hetuna: kanthe badhnami subhage twam jeeva sarada satam II

“This is a sacred thread. This is essential for my long life. I tie this around your neck O maiden having many auspicious attributes. May you live happily for a hundred years with me.


Today is a big day for me , I mean us, the hubby and I, because we are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary today!! 

It is so overwhelming to even think about the past 11 years....we have had our moments of love and togetherness and an equal share of fights too.... we had these two amazingly lovely kids in between..Ah! I couldn't have asked for more!! 

As we started the day, we went back to that day when we got married. It will be imperative to tell you here, that ours is an inter-caste marriage and 11 years ago, an inter-caste wedding was really a very big thing! Unthinkable, and Blasphemous to say the least!! It took my parents 3 years to convince me to re-think my decision but in the end we managed to convince them to re-think their decision! And the rest , as they say, is History!

But that was not what I started out to tell you, it is about the day of our wedding. Since it was an inter-caste wedding, we wanted the panditji (priest)  to be neutral, and cut short all the customs that could cause controversies, and so it had to essentially be a hybrid wedding. The time of the wedding was 10am in the morning. We were dressed up and waiting for panditji to come and solemnize our wedding. But where in the world was panditji? He was nowhere to be seen! 

Dad had delegated bringing the pandit to an uncle and we came to know later that the venue had not been told to him correctly. Actually there were 2 venues, one for the actual wedding in the morning and another for the reception in the evening. Since only the first family was invited to the wedding, the wedding card had the address of the reception venue only and our dear panditji waited for a few hours at the venue of the reception and then returned home!! Mind you, all this was before the advent of the mobile phones (It makes me think, I got married in the stone age!!) and there was no way we could contact him! 

We waited endlessly, while dad paced up and down furiously and people were sent in all directions to search for panditji!! Poor uncle seemed totally red faced and pathetic! I think I even took a quick nap in all this melee!! 

Panditji was finally found and brought to the venue by 12 noon. But it was a Wednesday and it was "rahukaal" (inauspicious time) from 12 to 1.30 pm!! There was nothing we could do, but wait! People were hungry and everyone except the both of us had their lunch( we are supposed to get married on an empty stomach!!) while we waited and waited!! We wondered if we would actually get married that day! 

The wedding ceremonies began by 1.30 pm and our short cut wedding was over by 4pm. The pandit later told us that the time when my hubby tied the "mangalsutra" to me was actually the best time of that day. Who am I to question the veracity of his claims? I was just plain happy that the whole thing was finally over!! 

That's us on our wedding day with the panditji 
The most significant ritual in the wedding other than the tying of the mangalsutra or the scared thread is the "saath-pheres" or the seven rounds around the holy fire. With the earth, sky, water, fire and air as witness to the grand union, the husband and the wife make seven promises to each other. 

1.  The husband and wife pray to the almighty to provide them with nourishment and good food so that they can live together in mutual respect and honour. They promise to walk together to attain this need.

2.  They pray to God that he may give them physical, mental and the spiritual strength so that they may be able to enjoy life and share their happiness.

3.  They pray to the Almighty for a life full of prosperity and to help them preserve their wealth. They vow to earn their wealth through honest means and give comfort to their family. They promise to be with each other in happiness and grief. The wife promises to be by his side no matter what.

4.  They promise to take care of the elders and not disregard them. Together they pledge to uphold family, relationships and values.

5.  They pray for healthy, kind and courageous children. They promise to be responsible parents and enrich their kids with good morals and education.

6. They pray for a healthy life free of diseases and illness and for a harmonious life ahead.

7.  They pray to god to give them the maturity to live with understanding for a lifetime. They swear to be faithful companions and live a life of friendship, love and mutual trust.

      I am happy that The Almighty gave us everything we asked for during the "saath-pheres" in ample measures and gave us both the strength to uphold the promise we made to each other. It makes me think, what the Panditji had said about that time being the best for the wedding, must have been actually true. 

and with our little family

     So today, as we complete 11 years of togetherness, I thank HIM for his blessings and pray that the love that we share continues to remain the way it is.


     (P.S. Guys, if I don't visit your blogs today, you know the reason why, don't you....I'll be back haunting your blogs tomorrow! :))

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