Thursday, January 22, 2015

Setting the right example

Children are like wet clay. They mold up exactly how you shape them up. If you try to teach them, they may not learn. But they will quickly learn by observing how you behave, and what you speak. They are the keenest observers you will find anywhere.
Even things that you might do absentmindedly or subconsciously will be picked up by their little eyes and ears. That is why it is said, we must be very careful about what kind of an example we might set for our kids with our behaviour. Are we unknowingly teaching them to lie? Are we teaching them to disrespect elders? Are we corrupting their little minds by teaching them to bribe?


Monday, January 12, 2015

Free advice!

The little one has become really naughty. He makes me run around in circles  as I try to feed him, makes me dance to his whims trying to get him to finish his homework and do endless crunches clearing up the mess he makes. While people close to me are marveling (or maybe even getting envious) of how fit I look and how I have lost so much weight, I am having a tough time convincing them that there is no diet to thank nor a strict fitness regime.
They do not believe me when I tell them my 5 year old is the reason for my fitness! “Oh, so you don’t want to tell us?” they smirk.  How can you be so selfish? they ask, looking wide eyed.  Some people have even offered to bribe me, “You tell me and I’ll get you any book of your choice.” Ah, yea, people kind of know what can tempt me. That’s how predictable I have become! 

I’m tempted to say something, anything, just to please them, and get all those titles I’ve been waiting to pick up. The whole world is minting money with advices, so why not me? Write out some random diet plan, which is mostly ghaas-phoos and some walking and exercise and bingo! They have their plan and I get my new book. And I know that once this ‘New Year resolution’ craze is over, they are least likely to follow the plan and I will not be blamed if the plan fails. And if some half crazed friend happens to follow the plan, I am sure all those weeks of exercise and chewing cud will reflect in the pristine figures that they will beget!

People love asking for advice as much as some people love dishing them out. The friendly neighborhood aunty will always peep into your house should she see you coughing or get to know that your child is down with fever. Arre, take a decoction of tulsi leaves, ginger and pepper, she will advice you and then go on to tell you how she makes it for her family each time they cough, and how well it works, which by the way will be a big lie!

Saas bahu problems? No issues! Someone will always have some brilliant advice on how to tackle the saas and make life miserable for her. And god forbid, if you are gullible enough to take that advice, you are sure turn your own life miserable, whether you achieve that victory goal against your saas or not!

Child problems? Hubby problems ?Boss problems? Pimple problems? Heart break problem? People have a solution to everything!

Then there are those advice that the dime-a-dozen astrologers on television churn out. I happened to see one such baba while surfing channels, and sat through the entire half hour show for the sheer entertainment it provided. Eat dhaniya (coriander) seeds before you go to work today, he advised the “meen rashi walon”(Pisceans), you will get promoted. Wow! How easy! Just pop some coriander seeds and bingo, all Pisceans will get promoted! To hell with appraisals, office politics and even hard work!! And then the all knowing baba also went on tell each rashi walon what color they should wear, who should feed the crows, who should tie pink threads on all four corners of the bed and who should light a lamp of sunflower oil under a peepal tree!!

As I made fun of the guy, a friend gave me a solemn look and said, “See, when you have problems in your life, you will realize the value of his advice.” And then proceeded to tell me how “guru was vakri” (Jupiter was playing havoc!) in her horoscope and causing all the problems in her life!  I am amazed people think I lead a problem free life! “What did he say for kumbh rashi”, she wanted to know.

I have it all figured out now. I can even become a baba (well, a lady baba, which by the way sounds like lady gaga to me, but again, that’s beyond the point!) and tell people the most mundane things and even have my feet kissed.

Ah! So much for free advice!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

5 signs your child is emotionally disturbed.

As children grow up, they go through difficult periods. One hand, they try to fit in with their peers, and on the other, they also fall out of fit with the people at home. They might go through temper tantrums, or withdrawal phases, periods of poor behavior or frustration. The onus falls back on us to be more receptive to their needs, identify behavioral changes in the child and help him cope with their growing period. For most children these phases last for a short duration and might not be a cause for concern. But if the child is having these bouts frequently and for a longer duration of time, it might be a sign of emotional disturbance.
Here are 5 signs of emotional disturbance in a child that you must not ignore-

                                                  To read more go to

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Together Forever....

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 50; the fiftieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. In association with ​Soulmates: Love without ownership by Vinit K Bansal. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

She was tired of being the perfect homemaker. He was sick of standing up to expectations. She was bored of the same routine, day after day, for what seemed like eternity. He wished the monotony of his work-home-work life could change. She longed for those days when life was a little less complicated, a little less luxurious but a lot more happy. He hoped to return to those days when he thought less and did more. They both wondered if love had flown out the window leaving behind two machines, churning out what was expected of the other. Maybe when you have been married for more than a decade, life did become predictable.They both wondered if they meant anything to each other at all. They had never asked, they had never told and they had never been told.

Today, it had been raining like hell had decided to unleash all its fury on the world below. “I guess I’ll have to work from home today,” he said as he cursed the rain. She didn’t say anything but she cursed the rain nevertheless. The kids were at her parents and she was supposed to join them today. She sighed and returned to the kitchen and cooked and cleaned as was the routine while he tapped away furiously on his laptop. She saw him stealing glances at her every now and then. During their earlier days of marriage, she would have returned back the glances and maybe even flirted with him. But now she didn't even know if the glances meant what they did in those days. Maybe he was just hungry and was wanting to know if food was ready. She served lunch and they ate in silence as they did on most days now. The routine tired her up easily these days. She retired to her room for an afternoon nap. 

And then, she felt his hand on her shoulder.

“Sleeping?” he asked her.

“Umm hmm” she replied.

He lay down besides her, wrapping his hand around her waist. That, kind of surprised her, but she liked the warmth of his palm on her stomach. She closed her eyes thinking of how long it had been since he had found any time for her.

“I wonder what I would have done if I hadn’t married you,” he said burying his face into the back of her neck, snuggling for comfort, and breathing in the aroma of shikakai in her hair.

She felt his warm breath and cold nose nudging her neck, knowing what would happen next. He had never said anything like that before, and she was sure he would follow it up with a quirky husband joke that was making rounds on whatsapp nowadays. She did not make an attempt to say anything. Let him crack his measly joke, she thought and pretended to sleep.

“My life would have been a mess.”

Surprised, she turned to face him.

“You know, I owe you so much. You sacrificed your career to look after the kids. I am amazed how well you bring them up. Thank you giving me these lovely children and raising them so perfectly.” And then he leaned in to kiss her.

She didn’t know what she should say. This was pretty unexpected. She just smiled.

“It is just because you manage the home, our parents and kids so well, that I have been able to focus on work and get to where I am today. I owe my success to you. You know exactly what I need, you push me to do my best, and you accept with all my flaws and believe in me like no one does. I tell everyone what a lucky guy I am to have found you, but I realized I never told you that."

Yes, he had never told her thatShe had never told him that either. 

She had always thought he took her for granted. She craved for his appreciation, but wondered if he ever knew how hard she worked to keep everything going so smoothly. But he knew. And that pleased her no end.

Both lay side by side lost in some thought. Maybe, wondering how often they had taken their partner for granted, not recognising all that they did for each other.

"By the way, did I tell you the food was awesome today? It always is. That is why I married you in the first place!" He winked as she rolled her eyes.  "I love you,”he said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I love you too" she said and gave him a peck on his cheek, trying to suppress a tear that threatened to flow out.

“I wonder how your life would have been if you hadn’t married me. Would you have been happier?” he asked.

 Did he think she was regretting marrying him? She had been lost in her own world these days, but marrying him had been the biggest joy of her life. He must know that. 

“I am happy I married you,” she said, “I wouldn’t have been happier with anyone else.”  She felt good saying this to him. “Who else would have supported me the way you do? Who else would have taken care of my parents with the love and respect that you do? You are the first person I think of when in a crisis and the first person I think of when I am bursting with happiness. You are the only one who understands my silence as well as my temper.”

“Sshhh….” He put a finger to her lip. “If my friends listen to this it will be blasphemous, they could jail me for understanding "the wife"…” he said in all seriousness.

They both burst out laughing.

“Who else can dare to tell me that I look awful in that yellow saree or know that I can crave for chocolates in the middle of the night and magically produce it out of nowhere,” she continued, still laughing, and letting the tear find its way out of her eye.

“Ahh…yes, you and your midnight cravings! The trips you made us take to ice cream parlours when we were about to have Sonu.”

“‘I’ was the one who had Sonu” she corrected. And then as an afterthought, “No you had him too! I remember that pain on your face inside the labour room. No one could say for sure if I having a baby or you!” she teased.

They burst out laughing again and then held each other so close like they’d never let the other go. It was not just enough to love. It was as important to let your loved one know. There was an amazing security in knowing that you are loved as much.

“Did you know, the Greek mythology has a story,” he said, gently stoking her hair, “Once upon a time, long long ago, all people had four legs and two heads. And then the gods threw down thunderbolt and split everyone into two. Each half had two legs and one head now. But the separation left both sides yearning to be reunited, because they shared the same soul. And ever since the souls search for their soulmate all through their lives.”

“I am happy our souls got united,” she said kissing him all over, “or else I would have to wander forever searching for you.”

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 08
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