Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Z is for Zen.....

Zen is a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind.  Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts. You become fully aware of your present and live in the now! Each moment is filled with profound clarity and peace. Each moment has significant, and precious. Zen brings us face to face with our true nature and lets us condition it into what we want it to be.

For me, this month has been nothing short of a Zen experience. I superseeded my own expectations of what I thought this month would do to me! I had imagined it to provide a catharsis for my feelings but instead it gave me so much clarity on what I wanted in life. It helped me get over a lot of feelings and nurture new ones. As I wrote about Appreciating whatever I have in life, and Believing in my own self, it gave me Courage to Dream and strive to make it a reality by Empowering myself. I realised the burden I was carrying by habouring hatred for those who had hurt me, and the best way to unload that burden and be at peace would be to Forgive. Likewise, sharing and Giving would be the best way to Happiness! I reiterated my faith in not losing my Innocence, and trying not to be Judgmental. The laws of Karma helped me heal, and also helped me in Letting go of the baggage I was carrying. I learnt to keep my faith in God, and learnt to look at every moment as a Miracle. Being Nonchalant in the face of anger, Organising my living space and my mind, Being Positive in the face of adversity, the ability to enjoying a few moments of Quiet every day, and prioritising the pair of spokes on the wheels of Relationships, added great value to how I led my life. Slowly but surely, the Smiles returned and I decided to keep my Trust in people intact, realising that I'm as Unique as anyone in this world. That was a huge victory over my fears and doubts and VIBGYOR was not just the colour of the rainbow but my life as well. I could now be more unabashed in Wishing for love, striving for Xcellence or just happily Yap about it all. It wouldn't be wrong to call this the Zen month. 

I read Shreeja's amazing story of love, Beloo's thoughts on putting India back in Indian education, Shilpa's A-Z for a happy marriage , Soumya's candid opinions, Ushaji's comprehensive list of Indian festivals, proactiveindian's short but thought provoking anecdotes, Ankur's heartfelt poems,Swati's short stories with thoughful endings, and the sunday vistor's diary , before I ended the day with David's soulful music. And when these guys came visiting they left behind heartfelt comments that infinitely warmed me up! Aparna, Peevee, kathy, lynda, Bikram,rajlakshmi, natasha, aditi, sheetal, and so many others kept up my journey alive with their comments and kind words.  I am guilty of not having replied personally to each valuable comment, but I want you all to know, that I read every word gratefully and it made me incredibly happy to see you keep visiting and commenting on my space.

I am happy I took up this challenge and finished it too. it put an end to my dormancy besides giving me the much needed insight into my own life!  

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Y is for Yap..

There are people who talk and then, there are people who TALK. 

I obviously belong to the second category! It does not matter whether you are a known person or a stranger, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, or whether you even want to talk in the first place! Nothing can stop me from from chewing your brains off with my incessant chatter! Sometimes I feel, the term, 'nineteen to a dozen' was coined just for me!

No new place is new enough for me to keep my mouth shut. And no person is new enough for me not to begin talking to them. I can be at ease anywhere, with anyone. My mom says, I have the ability to make walls talk, if there's no living soul around! I often wondered if being this chatty was a disorder. I wondered why I have this urge to keep conversing?  For quite sometime I thought it was normal to be able to converse. But many stiff upper lips and polite smiles later I realised, that it wasn't!

I'm definitely not boring and don't talk nonsensical or hurtful things, but I always manage to find something in common and starting a conversation is never a difficult job for me. There are friends who've told me they are usually introverts and are amazed at how they could converse so much whilst with me. There are friends who wait for me to turn up at parties. It great to hear these things, but at the same time, I also wish I'd learn to tone down a little bit.

Hubby dearest once secretly recorded my conversation with our friends and later played it back to me. I was horrified, to say the least! Though it was an engaging conversation, I was yapping away like there'd be no tomorrow! I am sometimes amazed at the sheer amount of things I speak!

Blogging has definitely helped me channel all that I want to say. I wouldn't say I talk less now, but yes, it is way lesser than it used to be! 

Monday, April 28, 2014

X is for Xcellence

I have a helper at home, who helps me with the household chores. She is a bright, young girl, who works to support her college education and she is a total delight to have around the house. She works so systematically, putting things in order, removing every speck of dust, and cleaning the vessels to a sparkle. You will never hear vessels being dropped due to careless handling, or a drop of water spilled anywhere. In short, she is extraordinarily meticulous! The chores she does are mundane everyday routine jobs, but she does them with excellence day after day, and that’s what sets her apart. I have had helpers before; careless ones, the ones who brought their problems to work, and the ones who thought this is just another house, another job. And that is why, this girl not only gets paid more, she gets my respect and love too. She is just like family. I don’t mind giving her an entire fortnight off when she has her exams, because I know when she comes back, she will be ticking like precision clockwork!

While she does her job, she gives me an important lesson to learn. It doesn’t really matter what your field of endeavor is, the quality of your life is in direct proportion to your commitment to excellence. However “Excellence” does not mean “Perfection”. There is a fine thread that divides both; while excellence is a positive trait and it motivates you to do your best, trying to be perfect could be demotivating to the point of being frustrating. You don’t have to be perfect at all. Excellence does not mean being the best. It simply means doing your best. It means that you care for things more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical and expect more than others think is possible.

So, how does one achieve excellence? There is only one difference between just doing a job and excelling at it, and that difference is attention to details. This involves discipline and a tenacity of purpose. And by excelling in whatever field you are in, you become a yardstick of quality. Your value is automatically way above the rest. We have been raised to be competitive and life often becomes a competing ground, but aiming for a win or success is not as important as aiming for excellence. So keep your intentions high, your efforts sincere, and the execution intelligent and that will determine your destiny. 

"Going far beyond the call of duty, doing more than what others expect.....Is what XCELLENCE is all about".

Saturday, April 26, 2014

W is for A wish.....

I wish you’d gaze deep, into my kohl lined eyes,                                            
Call them pools of silver, shining in the moonlight...                 
I wish you’d know when my eyes glisten, a tiny lake of shimmering gold,  
 Begins to form at the cusp, sidestepping the threshold....

I wish you’d cup my face, in your warm and strong hands,                  
tenderly kiss my eyes, freezing every pearl that lands....

 I wish you’d let me cuddle, rest upon your hairy chest,                                 
 let just the silence speak, and clear my muddled head...

 I wish you’d let me lie still, feel my breath waft in and out,              
connecting the life to love, to the rhythm of the pulsating heart....

I wish you’d hold me tight, embosom me in the warmth,                                 
 of your sensuous embrace, shattering the sky and earth....

I wish you’d make me smile, just to see my cheeks dimple,                        
spread to a mile and make, the corner of my eyes crinkle...

I wish you’d cradle me on your lap, smother me with tickly kisses,              
and make me break out, into oh so girlish giggles....

I wish you’d touch my lips, with your cupid’s bow, entice,                     
burning hot with desire, turn me into molten ice....

Are you listening to my wishes? Would you make it all come true?
'cause I love you with all my heart, and so do hope you do too!

Friday, April 25, 2014

V is for VIBGYOR

I had taken my kids out to the park, and it suddenly started drizzling. The sun was still out and we had not expected a shower at all. While I was feeling bad about an evening ruined for the kids, they excitedly pointed out to a beautiful rainbow sweeping across the sky. A ray of sun through the tiny drops of water breaks into a colourful jig of seven colours, VIBGYOR as we know them. The sight of a rainbow was enough to turn those frowns into smiles.

The Seven colours, each bearing a different significance and meaning, invoke feelings and beliefs unique to each of them. What the colours symbolised looked like a summary of what I had been writing all month long!

Red is the colour of love, passion, energy and enthusiasm.

Orange symbolizes creativity and playfulness, bringing about a balance of both in life.

Yellow is bright, chirpy and happy and symbolizes vibrancy, energy, and wisdom.

Green has a calming effect and is the colour of fertility, and growth, good health, harmony.

Blue is soothing and relaxing and is the colour of divinity, the colour of peace, understanding and communication.

Indigo symbolizes infinity, mastery over the self and intuition.

Violet symbolizes royalty, and spirituality.

Together they symbolize how much infinite potential lies within each one of us; the potential to love, to be creative, to be happy, to grow, to understand, to be playful,  to be vibrant, to be wise, to be harmonious and peaceful, and finally to have control over our self and to be one with God!

The rainbow is a symbol of hope; it tells you how a ray of light can bring out the brightest of colours from a single colur- white….and how you can choose to be that light in someone’s life, turning their world colourful or trust someone to be that light for you!

What took me a month to say, the rainbow said it all with its band of seven colours!  

Thursday, April 24, 2014

U is for Unique

The other day, a friend remarked how I wasn’t just like the rest of the gang. “You are a little too childish, a little too outspoken, a little too messy,” she went on…“that’s not classy at all and neither attractive, you must change”

 Yeah, I’m a ‘little too’ of all of that. I like being myself, I hate pretense, and I hate people who pretend!

 I like to eat with my hands, and don’t really make a big deal if what I’m eating happens to accidentally drip down my chin, especially if I have been enjoying eating it! That doesn’t make me any less lady-like, does it?

I like to line my eyes with kohl, even if I’m home alone, I like to dress up for myself, and no one else, and wear what I like to wear, and not what people think I should be wearing! So that doesn’t make me less classy. In fact, I think, being classy is not just about the clothes, it is about the respect you have for yourself and for others.

 I’m not a rebel, I’m usually law abiding, even if I’m the only one waiting at the signal, when it is red! (That’s happened couple of times before…people breeze past even as the light has just turned from green to red, but not me!) They may think I’m weird, but I like to stand up when I hear the national anthem being played, wherever I may be at that time. Does that make me a nutcase?

I don’t wait for someone else to initiate conversation; I am at ease talking to strangers as I would be with friends…does that make me any less attractive?

I don’t think it is funny to have fun at someone else expense, and no, just because I said it in as many words, doesn’t make me childish…. In fact I never thought it was mature enough to do so anyway!

And yeah, it’s ok if they call me a unique piece, because I know I am unique! Actually we all are…! Why die copying each other when you are born unique?

Every print of thumb is unique,
And so is every snowflake,
I’d rather be myself and be proud,

Than being someone fake!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

T is for Trust....

Does trusting people come easily to you? Can you blindly place your trust on people? Or are you the type who would not trust even your shadow? Are you the kind of person who would insist on verifying everything before you trust? Whichever category you might belong to, how important do you think this thing called trust is?

Studies show that trust is one of the most important attribute of human existence. If we can live as a community, it is only due to the mutual trust we have on each other. This begins early in life, when we are kids; we trust our parents and people around us to keep us safe and healthy. When a father throws his child in the air, the child trusts his father to catch him back. He might not have a moment of doubt what would happen if his father failed to catch him. When you are admitted in the hospital for a surgery, you place your trust on the doctor to treat you successfully, if you didn’t, you would not let yourself even be anaesthetized!! You fall in love and you marry, and there couldn’t be a bigger gamble than that. But you trust your partner to love you and be with you for life. So that’s how important trust is, and our brains are hardwired to trust.

But this is not always the case. But what happens when you trust someone and that trust is broken? Can you heal yourself and trust again? If I had to answer that question, I trusted people too easily. I didn’t think someone would cheat me ever, because I did not cheat anyone. I believed people were being as frank as I was with them. Of course you know where I am getting to, don’t you? This naivety and being all that trustful was the biggest mistake I could have made…..or so I thought! Not only did it hurt me in all the wrong places, it also took my trust out of trusting people! Was I wrong in trusting people then? Probably yes, probably no…

There are different areas in our brain that deal with this issue of trust differently. One part of the brain is wired to trust, but there is also another area of our brain that is wired to logically think over things. It is the part that helps us to reason out things and then allow us to trust. Going back to the earlier example, how did the child learn to trust? The child being in close contact with the parent on a daily basis, has learnt to trust his parent. Why did you trust your doctor? By checking out the doctor’s credentials and by verifying his success details, and perhaps talking to some patient he has treated successfully in the past, you have learnt to trust yourself to him. How did you know your partner was right for you? Before you married, you must have put your better half through a lot of tests, some upfront, some subconsciously, to know if he is right for you. That means, we do use logical thinking before we trust someone.

If that is the case, why did trusting someone hurt me? Did I not verify? Did I not use my logical side of the brain? The answer is - how much ever we try to use logic, there a lot of times when we rely on our hearts and not on our minds to make decisions for us. And the decisions made by the heart stand as much a chance of being wrong as the decisions made by the mind, using logical thinking. In spite of years of trusting, there is still that tiny chance that the parent might just miss grabbing the child in time…or the highly successful surgeon may mess up your case….or the partner you were so confident of, dumps you at some stage!!

So do you trust or do you not? I would say, keep your trust intact. Keep your faith in people intact. A few bad cases of misplaced trust shouldn’t be a deterrent in breaking your trust in the entire humankind.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

S is for Smile....

Anyone will vouch for the power of smiles! It is one of those contagious little things that you can catch anywhere and when you do, you also pass it around inadvertently. On our morning walks we meet strangers on the jogging track, people whom we see every day at the same place but have never stopped to talk to, yet we smile at each other with a nod of the head that is supposed to mean good morning! And over a period of time it feels like you know practically everyone! A smile is that powerful weapon, with which you can break even ice!!

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love. Let me share a few lines from this wonderful poem that says it all-

Sometimes you don't find the right words for certain situations, but in such situations a smile can speak a lot. Words have this ability to confuse, but smiles have this ability to convince. So take time out to smile.....even at a stranger......someone out there may be in desperate need of never know whom you have brought happiness with your smile. 

Monday, April 21, 2014

R is for Relationships....

We come into this world alone and we leave it alone. And in between, we get into relationships, some beautiful and some ugly. On one hand, there are relationships that teach us to love, share, bond, and trust, and on the other, there are relationships that teach us to choose wisely, by hitting us where we’d hurt the most. Good or bad, we need these relationships to make our existence in the world meaningful. Relationships will not grow by themselves, and like plants, they need to be nurtured. Here are five pairs of spokes that I think keeps the wheels of relationships going-

Trust and Honesty- Trust is the most important factor in a healthy relationship. A relationship is the weakest when there is more doubt than trust. Trust is as important to a relationship as air to the lungs. It is not easy to rebuilding trust when it has been broken. There’s a saying which says, trust is like a cup delicate and fragile, once broken can be mended, but the crack will always be there. And that is why it is also important to be honest and truthful.

Communication and dumping your ego - Lack of communication kills more relationships than any argument or fights can. Talking things out clears so many issues, but for some strange reason, people would rather stay quiet than communicate.  Body language is also an important mode of non verbal communication. A good hug, a reassuring pat, an understanding nod, a loving gaze…there are so many ways to communicate. So even if it is uneasy or uncomfortable, keep all doors to communicating open. The ego always comes in between a good relationship, so skip the E and let it GO! Turn the “M” in ME upside down so it always reads WE. When there is no ego, it opens the doors to communication.

Love and Respect- You always get respect when you give respect. And with respect comes love. When things are bitter in a relationship, it is difficult to respect the other person and what they say. And that is when we tend to speak disrespectfully and hurtfully. But most fights end some day, the bitter words may be forgotten, but how you made someone feel, will never be forgotten.  

Understanding and patience- Agree that you will not have similar opinions about everything, and will disagree more than you will ever agree. When there is disagreement the floodgates of anger open up and we tend to say so many things that we wouldn’t have if we had been patient. Just like no two fingers are the same, no two people are the same, and so opinions will always differ. Being patient lets us understand the other can think differently, and this understanding makes relationships last longer.

Forgive and forget- To err is human, to forgive divine, it is said. Easier said than done. No one’s perfect, and mistakes do happen. But when the relationship is more important than the mistake, it would do good to forgive and forget, not as a rule though.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Q is for Quiet

If you close your eyes and just try to listen to your surroundings, all you can hear are noises. Vehicles buzzing past, people talking, machines running, and if all this was enough, your own mind talking at about 35-40 thoughts per minute or an astounding 70,000 thoughts per day!!

No wonder we are caught in a very noisy world! What life has to say is drowned out mercilessly in all that noise. The more the noise, the more the chaos.

It would be nice to have a little quiet then, isn't it? By quiet I don’t mean silence. Silence would mean pushing the ‘off’ button, quiet means just turning down the volume knob on life. Quiet is peace. It is tranquility.  When you are quiet, you can hear life speak. Spending quiet time alone, gives our mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order. We can feel a surge of self-awareness, calm, and an awakening of our inner energies. When inner energies wake up, they work miracles without us having to put any efforts at all.

 Meditation is one powerful tool to help quieten the mind. Meditating everyday helps to control your thoughts and revitalizes your body.  It helps you be more aware of what you are thinking. You don’t need to become a saint and meditate for long hours each day, you can begin with just 5 to 10 minutes per day and see how incredibly powerful this is.

There will be initial hurdles when you begin to meditate, but by making it a daily habit, you will not only be able to stick to it, but also enjoy the therapeutic benefits it has on your life.

1. You can choose the time and place most appropriate for you, and ensure that you stick to that time every single day. Early mornings are the best times for some quality tranquillity.
2. You don’t have to sit, you may choose to lie down and meditate too.
3.  Start with deep breathing and notice how the air fills your lungs and how it flows out.
4.  Thoughts keep flowing into your mind, and you will be amazed at the number of thoughts you have. You don’t have to try and stop your thoughts; just let them flow, but concentrate on your breathing.
5. Gradually, over a period of time, you will find random thoughts disappearing and you will start focussing on thoughts most important to you. As time progresses, even these thoughts will disappear and the mind will be in a meditative state and the mind would have leaned to be quiet.
6. Initially you can meditate for 5-10 minutes and increase the time when you are comfortable.

It is a good idea to have some quiet time for yourself. Learning to quieten your mind has a lot of health benefits. You will find an increased ability to concentrate, more aware of your own self, your thoughts and your feelings, you will find your anxiety levels decreasing, and overall there will be a general feeling of well being.

Friday, April 18, 2014

P is for Positive thinking

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
And the task at hand seems uphill,
Pat your heart and close your eyes,
Take a deep breath, bid your worries goodbye,
All you need to do is smile and yell,
All izz well....all izz well!!

Things do go wrong a lot of times, don’t they? And when everything seems to be in the dumps, it is so easy to give up. But it is in these precise moments that we need to square up our shoulders, and lift our chins and tell ourselves that all will be fine. Nothing can work wonders the way a positive attitude can!!

Positivity is something I learnt from my Dad. Dad always jokes, that the reason he is so positive about everything is because his blood group is “B+ve”!! His positivity is infectious. You could be in the worst of situations, but he will always find something good about the whole thing. He believes that being positive helps you to look at things differently.

It lets you think.

It lets you find ways around the toughest of problems.

It lets you have faith in yourself.

When you look at things negatively, you do yourself more harm than good. You block out possible solutions, multiply your problems and you give up trying.  You will start looking at difficulty in every opportunity. But when you think positive, you will look at an opportunity in every difficulty. It’s may not always be easy to stay positive, I know that’s easier said than done, but not trying to be positive is like handing the negative thoughts a free reign in to your mind and allowing it to take over your thoughts. What a blow to your confidence that would be! So whenever a negative thought concerning your personal power comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out.

Positive attitude creates a chain of positive thoughts. So each day surround yourself with these words-

Nothing is impossible.

I know I can do it.

 Today is my day.

I am a winner.

May you find positivity in every aspect of your life!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

O is for Organise

When everything around me seemed really chaotic, I realised how unorganised I had become. Apart from the various things and relationships I should have gotten rid of and was trying to hold on to, I was also having a lot of mental baggage. That’s when I learnt this mantra- being Organised.

Being organised does not mean getting rid of everything you own or trying to become a different person. It’s about living the way you want to live, but in a better way.  The more organised your life is, the calmer you will feel. It is like getting rid of the excess baggage. What you have left will be all of your favourite things from every part of your life.

The need to get organised is not limited to the physical surrounding. When your physical surrounding is cluttered, it clutters your mind and spirit. Because clutter is not just in the home, attic, garage or office; it is also in the mind. Clutter distracts you from the amazing things you are meant to do.  Once you de-clutter your life and keep it organised, you will not only get rid of the unnecessary but will also have plenty of time for the necessary.  A lot of us hang on to things, people, relationships and events like we are afraid to let it go. But organising your life is therapeutic, it is almost meditative.  Look at everything as a part of a story.... your story. Thank the items for having been a part of your story, close that chapter and move on.

Here are some tips to get your physical surroundings organised. Ask yourself these questions when you need to organise-

Do you need and use it regularly? Or are you saving it ‘just in case’? It is replaceable easily?

If you have not used it for one year, and not likely to use it in another five years, you are never likely to use it ever again. So there is no point saving it for a future time, unless it is very expensive and not available easily.

Does it have sentimental value? If it doesn’t, what are you saving it for?

Do you have more than one? We are adept in stocking up things, and unless we really need the spare ones, it makes sense to donate it to someone who may need it.

And finally ‘When in doubt throw it out’.

It is easier to organise objects than organising your mind. The mind is more fickle. It can take you on an elaborate guilt trip on one day and give you a good battering the very next day. So, when you need to organise your mind, these tips may be handy-

Accept situations as they are. You cannot change situations; you can only change your attitude towards it.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself a little love. It’s not always your fault.

Don’t fall in to the trap of guilt and fear. We often fall into this trap and end up holding a lot of emotional baggage.

You don’t have to be in control all the time. Let go of control.

Visualise what is important to you.

Focus on things that make you feel good.

Let go of things and people who pollute your life.

Keep what is worth keeping and throw away the rest.

Organising your life and mind is not about perfection, it is about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter and improving your overall quality of life. Here’s wishing you a clutter free life!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

N is for Nonchalance.....

I was riding pillion with my brother, when suddenly a little child ran into the road, apparently having broken free from his mother’s grip. My brother brought the vehicle to a screeching halt just in the nick of time, to avoid hitting the child. But an autorickshaw driver who was just behind us, did not expect us to stop so suddenly, and hit us from behind.

Well, before I continue, it will be imperative to tell you here, that the city where I live in, autorickshaw drivers behave like they are the kings of the road, and you could be a goner, if you happen to cause any damage to their vehicle, however microscopic that may be. All fellow autodrivers will come to a stop and 'gherao' you till you admit your mistake and shell out money. They will ensure to fleece you, and ensure that you make good the damage, irrespective of whether the money is put to the use for which it was demanded in the first place. Do people not go to the police? No, because the whole process could take so long, that you could end up paying much more, spending much more time, so settle the issue there and then is what people follow.

So coming back to the incident, no sooner than we parked our vehicle and got down, the autorickshaw driver was all over my brother. He used the choicest of expletives in the highest decibel his larynx could afford, accusing my brother of not driving safely. All this while, my blood boiled and I was dying to give the man a piece of my mind. But my brother listened to him calmly, not speaking a word. His face was calm, his body language unperturbed. His nonchalant attitude threw me off guard too!

I am sure, it disturbed the autodriver because it became apparent as the tone of the autodriver  began to change, he spoke less loudly, and the expletives were almost gone, like he had exhausted his quota, and he asked my brother, “How can you keep quiet, guru? Settle the issue.” My brother took out a bottle of water from his bag, and offered it to the driver, “Here, drink some water.”  The driver appeared enraged again, “I don’t want water, tell me how you plan to settle this issue” he demanded.  With a little coaxing from my brother in a calm voice, the driver was gulping down the water, he had just refused.

Then my brother took him to inspect the damage that had been caused to the auto. There was a slight dent on the front so my brother asked him how much he thought it would cost to get it repaired. The mother, whose child had caused the accident to occur, had been watching all this drama. She came up to thank my brother.  She apologised profusely and said if he hadn’t applied the brakes, the kid would have been injured very badly. Other auto drivers had started to gather, asking what was going on.

Can you believe my surprise, when that auto driver said, nothing’s going on, and asked them to clear off and not block the traffic! He apologised to my brother for using abusive language, without knowing why he had to stop so suddenly. He said he did not want to be compensated for the damage!

This was a first for me! What could never happen had happened!! Let me assure you, this NEVER happens in a similar scenario.

Being nonchalant without being apathetic in a volcanic situation is not the easiest thing to do. But I learnt that it pays not to lose your cool, to remain calm and listen to the other person’s point of view. It transformed two people, the autodriver and me.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

M is for Miracles......

Have you ever wondered how every day is a miracle? In fact, every little thing that happens is a miracle. Maybe that is god’s way of telling us he will be there to hold our hands forever!  But we recognise miracles only when it is a matter of life and death.

It was a miracle that saved our car from falling off the cliff when we took a wrong turn on a dark rainy night, ascending the hill. If a couple of state transport buses had not appeared from nowhere, and honked madly, making us stop and back up, we would have had a free fall down the hill and perished.

It was a miracle that saved my second born from a fatal lung infection. it was a miracle that we could bring him home safe and healthy.

It was a miracle that the bus my father had been travelling in from Pune to Shiridi had swerved off the road to land in a valley below, and he did not have a scratch on his body.

Yes, these were definitely miracles, and we remember them because it involved our lives, it was a matter of life and death. But there are also several hundreds of little miracles, that happen every day and we don’t realise they are miracles too!

It was a miracle, when I was all alone, desperate to get to the hospital with a very sick child in hand, and there was absolutely no transport available because a very popular celebrity had just passed away, and just then a friend came out of nowhere and offered to take us to the hospital.

It was a miracle, finding and falling in love and marrying the man of my dreams. 

It was a miracle, when I held my first born in my arms for the very first time. It was a miracle when I thought I saw him smile at me. It was a miracle, when he first rolled over, took his first baby steps, and called me “mamma” for the very first time. It was a miracle being a mother for the very first time!!

It was a miracle, how I always found a solution to my problems. Miraculously, a friend would come by to help, or family would chip in, or even some stranger would appear out of nowhere. If there was no one, I would miraculously have sufficient strength to help myself.

It was a miracle when, my grandma, whom I have been the closest to, passed away, my heart overflowed with grief, and I never thought I’d recover from the tragedy, but I miraculously did.

Miracles happen; you could be down in the dumps or bursting with happiness, in grave danger of your life, or simply taking a walk in the park, when you are expecting them to happen or when you are least expecting them to happen.....but you know what is important? Knowing that miracles happen. You only have to trust.  

Monday, April 14, 2014

L is for Letting go......

One of the hardest things in life is to let go. Letting go of people, letting go of feelings, letting go of places.....because that is easier said than done. Letting go is like embracing uncertainty when all we want to do is to hold on. People become history, places become history, your feelings become history, and yet we don’t realise that, that is what they are...history.....not our destiny.  I am not talking about giving up, but just accepting that there are things which are not meant to be. There are plenty of things worth fighting for and giving up would be such a shame, but there are also plenty of things we hang on to, that are past their expiry date, and those are the things that we must let go.

There comes a point in life when you realise that you get tired trying to fix everything and you know that all will never be fine again, no matter how much you try. That is time to let go. Rather than surrounding yourself with all that pointless drama, the people who create it, and the bitterness they leave in your hearts, you might want to surround yourself with people who make you happy, make you forget your woes and make you feel loved.

It is difficult. Difficult to let go of people, because the memories keep coming back... Difficult to let go of thoughts- the guilt, the anger, the loss, the betrayal, the fear, and maybe love let go of the thoughts that make you weak. But in the end you realise that you have to just release them. You cannot be attached to them forever. It will take time, but you will eventually realise that letting go is not about losing or defeat. It means to cherish those memories, overcome them and move on. It means freeing yourself from the burden of a past you cannot change.

Letting go makes you stronger. It lets you respect and love yourself. It lets you find happiness. It lets you find new beginnings. You deserve to be happy. Gift yourself that happiness. And just let go.....

Saturday, April 12, 2014

K is for Karma.......

“Karma” has its origin in Sanskrit and means work, action or deed. Though it has its origin in India, but the concepts of Karma are widely accepted and followed the world over. Understanding and applying the concepts in our day to day life will change the way we think and act. It makes us think before we say or do anything. The philosophy of Karma can be a thought of as guide to better living. The laws of Karma tell us to do good deeds and keep our actions pure. This is what the laws of Karma teach us-

Be good and do good- The law of karma says that time and circumstances can change at any time. So do not devalue or hurt anyone, because, you may be powerful today, but time is more powerful than you.  Look at this example. When a bird is alive it eats insects, it eats ants. And when that bird is dead, Ants eat that bird!!  Likewise, one tree can make a million match sticks, but one matchstick can burn a million trees!!! So be good and do good!

Forgive –The law of Karma says, forgive the sinner and his actions, and never give in to hate. Don’t take revenge, because Karma will get hold of those that hurt you and take care of what is meant to be. You don’t have to add to your bad karmas by taking revenge.  How people treat you is their karma and how you react to it is yours.

Keep your intentions clear and truthful- Karma is very powerful. So it is important that we are truthful and do everything with a clear intention. The actions that have been performed with good intentions will be rewarded and actions performed with wrong intentions be punished.

You reap what you sow- You cannot sow weed and expect to reap rice, can you? That is what this law of Karma is all about. Kindness begets kindness; love begets love...and so on. What goes around comes around. So keep your circle positive. Think good thoughts, say good words and do good deeds.

Act with love- Everything in life comes full circle. And that is why it is so important to beware of envy, greed, and such negative thoughts, because what we project is what we receive. Act with love so you receive love.

Belief- This is Karma’s law of willingness. It says that what you believe to be true, the universe reflects back your belief to you. When negative circumstances challenge your positive beliefs, don’t let go of your beliefs, just hold on to them. The universe will turn that something negative into something positive, when you believe in the positive.  

Live in the present- No matter how much you regret, how angry or sad you become, the yesterdays will never return. Thinking about what you could have changed in your past only alleviates your suffering. So think about what you can do today and do it right.

Yeah, I know it sounds preachy, It looks like an awful lot of laws and too much to ask of ourselves! But in reality, every law is the same, the end result of each law is the same, what it expects us to do, is the same.......and that is, do good deeds and keep your actions pure.

 Have a good Karma day!!

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