We come into this world alone and we leave it alone. And in between, we get into relationships, some beautiful and some ugly. On one hand, there are relationships that teach us to love, share, bond, and trust, and on the other, there are relationships that teach us to choose wisely, by hitting us where we’d hurt the most. Good or bad, we need these relationships to make our existence in the world meaningful. Relationships will not grow by themselves, and like plants, they need to be nurtured. Here are five pairs of spokes that I think keeps the wheels of relationships going-
Trust and Honesty- Trust is the most important factor in a healthy relationship. A relationship is the weakest when there is more doubt than trust. Trust is as important to a relationship as air to the lungs. It is not easy to rebuilding trust when it has been broken. There’s a saying which says, trust is like a cup delicate and fragile, once broken can be mended, but the crack will always be there. And that is why it is also important to be honest and truthful.
Communication and dumping your ego - Lack of communication kills more relationships than any argument or fights can. Talking things out clears so many issues, but for some strange reason, people would rather stay quiet than communicate. Body language is also an important mode of non verbal communication. A good hug, a reassuring pat, an understanding nod, a loving gaze…there are so many ways to communicate. So even if it is uneasy or uncomfortable, keep all doors to communicating open. The ego always comes in between a good relationship, so skip the E and let it GO! Turn the “M” in ME upside down so it always reads WE. When there is no ego, it opens the doors to communication.
Love and Respect- You always get respect when you give respect. And with respect comes love. When things are bitter in a relationship, it is difficult to respect the other person and what they say. And that is when we tend to speak disrespectfully and hurtfully. But most fights end some day, the bitter words may be forgotten, but how you made someone feel, will never be forgotten.
Understanding and patience- Agree that you will not have similar opinions about everything, and will disagree more than you will ever agree. When there is disagreement the floodgates of anger open up and we tend to say so many things that we wouldn’t have if we had been patient. Just like no two fingers are the same, no two people are the same, and so opinions will always differ. Being patient lets us understand the other can think differently, and this understanding makes relationships last longer.
Forgive and forget- To err is human, to forgive divine, it is said. Easier said than done. No one’s perfect, and mistakes do happen. But when the relationship is more important than the mistake, it would do good to forgive and forget, not as a rule though.