Tuesday, March 6, 2012

(Don't) Worry!!

Worries. That eats into my existence. I can worry about almost anything and everything. My son just dropped my alarm clock and now my worry is if I set the alarm on my mobile will it wake me up on time tomorrow morning? What will I make for breakfast? A few mental calculations, 1. who doesn’t eat what, 2. what was on menu for the past week and 3. what will be agreeable to all. Voila! I zero in on the best option.

 That is just the beginning of my woes. Because now I have to worry about if I have the required ingredients for the menu. I do a quick mental scan of the kitchen and realize that few things are indeed not available. It’s too late to go out now and buy anything, so I think of few other options and settle on something 1. that is agreeable to all, 2. which was not on the menu in the past week and 3. all ingredients for cooking it are available. That doesn’t settle my worries, because I didn’t estimate the cooking time. I’ll never be able to make it in time before the school van arrives. Darn! I have to repeat the process again.

 The mind flits from one idea to another and finally cooks up something 1. that is agreeable to all, 2. which was not on the menu in the past week, 3. all ingredients for cooking it are available, and 4. the cooking time is the least. Oh! I will need my oven to execute the task. But what if there is no power in the morning, as it happens on so many summer days? Re-think.. After a lot of hemming and hawing with myself, I now conjure up something that is blah, blah, blah, blah plus 5. doesn’t need my oven. Satisfied, I think I can bid my worries goodbye and sleep peacefully.

 As I toss in bed, I try to think if I have missed out on something. The school uniforms! Let me have a check. Just as I had thought! I have to iron them and I better do it now. Can’t trust the electricity, remember? Phew! Finally done. I can go back to my bed.

 As soon as I fall asleep, I see a huge ocean of worries, and I am swimming with all my strength, against the currents, just managing to keep my head above water. I pass wave after wave, small ones and big ones. Clean-the-house wave, vaccum-the-upholstery wave, bathe-the-kids wave, do-the-laundry wave, iron-the-clothes wave, fix-breakfast-lunch-dinner wave, drop-off-and-pick-the-kids wave, pay-bills wave, change-linen wave, shop-for-groceries-and-stuff wave…. As I bob in and out of the waters being hit by the waves, I see a whirlpool of worries, the “please-all” whirlpool! And then I hear a loud beep.

 I am as tired as hell. I open my eyes to see smiling faces. My kids and hubby are towering over me. The AC’s still running. So the power supply has not been cut off yet. I see a tray on my bedside. There are two cups of coffee and breakfast. There’s a card that reads, Happy Birthday mom. Then there’s a black forest cake waiting to be cut. It brings a smile to my face. Then I suddenly worry why the kids aren’t still ready for school. ‘Chill mom’, says my elder one. ‘It’s Sunday’. Oh! Thank God! I feel energetic again. I wonder if I should go back to sleep again. But then, I have to…..

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