Sunday, December 2, 2012

From the diary of a nobody.....

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 34; the thirty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "Of-Course, I'm insane"


Of course, I am insane.

How else will I explain my inglorious life to my maker? Can I tell HIM I was too naïve to know the difference between a murderer and a martyr? Can I tell HIM that I was just another rootless, jobless desperado who was willing to kill in the name of religion? How will I explain the blood on my hands, that of countless innocent victims, whom I slaughtered in the name of my maker? Will HE understand that all of this was for a starving, naked, roofless family? That family, which now disowns me...

Disowned by my country, shunned by my village and forgotten by my family, this is not how I wanted to live and die. I did not want to be wasted like this, disenfranchised, impoverished, uneducated and frustrated, with nothing at stake and no one to call my own. Becoming nothing but a mere puppet!

When I was a kid, I never saw a puppet show. I never played with puppets or had any interest in them. Maybe if I had, I would have known what it is like to be pulled on a string.  I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything.  But the moment when you let someone run your life is the moment when you have become a puppet in someone else's world. I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, and a pawn; I've been up and down and over and out, and I know one thing now; my existence was absolutely worth nothing!

I wonder if my father got the piece of land and the pot of gold that lured me here. I wonder if my sisters have been able to get married and my mother cured of her ailments. I wonder if they know I will be dead as dawn breaks.

Now as I lie down shifting uneasily, I pray that the dawn never breaks. I can smell death around the corner. It is sneaking in and its all encompassing laughter terrifies me. No one can confidently say that he will be living tomorrow, but to know that I will actually not be is unnerving. I was trained to be unafraid, so I wonder why I am? Then I realize I am not as afraid of death as I am of meeting my maker...

While I thought I was learning how to live, I was actually learning how to die. And now I can only hope Death releases me from the impressions of the senses, and from desires that made me their puppets, from the vagaries of the mind, and from the hard service of the flesh. I hope that from my rotting body, flowers shall grow and lovely blue butterflies shall flutter around and I am in them and that will be eternity.

As I try not to think of how my body will jerk violently as the noose tightens around my neck and how I will feel the breath ebb slowly out of my body, I wonder, ‘Was I really insane?’

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: BLOGGER NAME, Participation Count: 01

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Your vote could change my life.....

 On a cold winter night, when you feel all down and out and trust no more in the institution called love,  this story will cheer you up and make you believe and want to fall in love all over again!!

I don't know if my idea could change a life.....But your vote could however surely change my life....drop in at this link and vote for my idea at-

 Just hit "LIKE"...

Thank you!

"A journey called love" - My entry for the Get Published contest

Being in love.

That phase of life when the head feels light and the heart heavy!  When you don't seem to walk, you just glide. When you lose your appetite for food because you have just gained appetite for someone's sweetness. When you don't get a wink of sleep, but are perpetually dreamy.



If you went on like this, you would end up famished, woozy and the hospital? Don't get me wrong. I am not against love. But love happens with the eyes open, not in your dreams. Because if you think it does, then you'd probably wake up to a shocking reality, whenever you do, that is.

Love is, being there, when you need each other.  Love is, when you fight for each other and not against . Love is, when one person's win does not mean the other person's loss. It is, when either you win together or both lose together. Love is, when you feel free like a bird spreading its wings in the vast azure sky and not like the one trapped in a cage forever.

When appearances don't matter as much as the beauty inside. When you are sure you will hold on to each other no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. When you know you will continue to respect each other irrespective of whether you are looking in the same direction or the opposite direction.

It is heartening to see couples hold hands and look deep into each other's eyes,involved in a rather garish public display of their affections. How much of all this is real, I wonder. How many would really stand up to one another when time actually warranted it. Spending fortunes to keep each other happy was one thing, and being happy because they were fortunate to have one another was quite another. Only time could tell whether they will continue doing so, when the hands don't remain or when the light of the eyes flicker out. And then maybe we could say, they rose in love, not fell in love.

Does such love exist? or is it an utopian thought? I can tell you it does! A love that transcends life and death, pleasures and pain, happiness and sorrow, the ups and downs. Let me walk you through them, so that on a cold and lonely day when you begin to question love, they may inspire you to carry on...... "a journey called love".  

 I call them my valentine couple. No, they are not related to this day, not even remotely, and I doubt they know of the existence of such a day. I remember them because they stand for what this day is supposed to signify. Unending and unconditional love for each other. 

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

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