This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 34; the thirty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "Of-Course, I'm insane"
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How else will I explain my inglorious life to my maker? Can
I tell HIM I was too naïve to know the difference between a murderer and a
martyr? Can I tell HIM that I was just another rootless, jobless desperado who
was willing to kill in the name of religion? How will I explain the blood on my
hands, that of countless innocent victims, whom I slaughtered in the name of my
maker? Will HE understand that all of this was for a starving, naked, roofless
family? That family, which now disowns
me...
Disowned by my country, shunned by my village and forgotten
by my family, this is not how I wanted to live and die. I did not want to be
wasted like this, disenfranchised, impoverished, uneducated and frustrated,
with nothing at stake and no one to call my own. Becoming nothing but a mere
puppet!
When I was a kid, I never saw a puppet
show. I never played with puppets or had any interest in them. Maybe if I had,
I would have known what it is like to be pulled on a string. I've never had anyone
put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. But the moment when you let someone run your life
is the moment when you have become a puppet in someone else's world. I've been
a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, and a pawn; I've been up and down and over and
out, and I know one thing now; my existence was absolutely worth nothing!
I wonder if my father got the piece of land and the pot of
gold that lured me here. I wonder if my sisters have been able to get married
and my mother cured of her ailments. I wonder if they know I will be dead as
dawn breaks.
Now as I lie down shifting uneasily, I pray that the dawn
never breaks. I can smell death around the corner. It is sneaking in and its
all encompassing laughter terrifies me. No one can confidently say that he will
be living tomorrow, but to know that I will actually not be is unnerving. I was trained to be unafraid, so I wonder why I am? Then
I realize I am not as afraid of death as I am of meeting my maker...
While I thought I was learning
how to live, I was actually learning how to die. And
now I can only hope Death releases me from the impressions of the senses, and
from desires that made me their puppets, from the vagaries of the mind, and
from the hard service of the flesh. I hope that from my rotting body,
flowers shall grow and lovely blue butterflies shall flutter around and I am in them and that will be eternity.
As I
try not to think of how my body will jerk violently as the noose tightens
around my neck and how I will feel the breath ebb slowly out of my body, I
wonder, ‘Was I really insane?’
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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: BLOGGER NAME, Participation Count: 01
I pity the human,a lovely story woven with a magic. All the very best for BAT dear :) Take care!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tanya..and all the best to you too!
DeleteReflecting the current scenario... There are several people among those groups who feel guilty for what they are doing... And you have represented it good.. ATB for the BAT... :)
ReplyDeletetrue...unfortunately it is too late by the time they realise it! thanks for ur wishes and all the best to u too!
DeleteSuch mix of complex emotions .. great stuff.
ReplyDeletethank you mithil...
DeleteAwesome! The simple fact is that every terrorist suffers from insanity.. And every time something happens, I think of the sinister minds..ugh..so ridiculous:(
ReplyDeletevery well expressed, princess :))
Yeah...its wonderful how we thought and wrote on the same line :))
Am busy in a wedding, shall reply later....
ATB for BAT~
true...so effectively have they been brainwashed...
DeleteThank you!! glad u liked it...and you know what makes it spookier!!!we have posted it at approx the same time...!!
All terrorists are insane, I agree. But we need to hang the main people who create these puppets of terror. ATB for BAT :)
ReplyDeleteand unfortunately..they continue to roam free and create more such terror houses...sad:(
Deletebtw..thanks and all the best to u!
Beautifully written. All the best! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you sirjee...
DeleteWell written... Good usage of word without too sympathetic on a terrorist ... Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteHey thanks Amit! welcome on board!
ReplyDeleteseeing from the other perspective. we usually just think from the victim's eyes.
ReplyDeletenever from the perpetrator's. spooky & well written.
hmm..and the thought that went into this post was, did he finally regret doing what he did? did he realise he was being used? that he was just a 'bali ka bakra'? and not a martyr like he was being made out to be....
Deletehmmmm well I am not sure if i feel sorry for the person , although it is ttrue that for one side a person is a terrorist while on the other he is a martyr .. But the person in question was neither ..
ReplyDeleteas he was shunned by his own country and people
A lovely post though and written well , all the best
Bikram's
there is no forgiveness and no sympathizing for the heinous crimes though...
Deleteonly my thoughts on whether the reminder of meeting his maker brings out the human side in him or does he still remain unaffected....i thought it would have... even if for a fleeting moment...
well believe me when the end comes we all remember the almighty.. I have seen it a few times now .. the hardest of the men break down .. when they see it that near ..
Deletetrue..
Deletevery well written post, these terrorists are trained (brainwashed) to fight a proxy war for their country and religion, once they wage this war, their own country, own people and religion disown them. They are forced to live rest of their life in exile not even knowing what happened to their families. They are just pawns, used and thrown!
ReplyDeleteif only they realise that.....and yes families are the greatest hit...
DeleteThank u for stopping by....
I liked your post. It was like people said earlier from a victim's pov and not a terrorist. Sometimes I have thoughts like what if, you know people could have education, money or at least the basic things would they commit such heinous crimes??
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry, truly sorry for people who are victims of such a brutal conspiracy. Not only have I felt bad for people who have died by the hands of these people but even for the one killing. Truly they are mere puppets and though their crimes can't be forgiven, the law should not rejoice on hanging such people but the root cause should be found out. But, then again it is the poor and the penniless that has always suffered and will keep on suffering, some kill on a mass basis and are labelled as terrorist(here I'm saying about the slave and not the master) and some are just thieves and kill.
I think, I really think of those people who do things in the name of religion what will happen to them when death will come knocking on their door. It is then that I pray that if not here they pay for their sins there in the after world, for not only killing others but making innocent people killers and luring them as they know they've got no other option.
I really loved your post and I wanted to write, what I've written in your comment but I just wasn't able to get the right words until now.
All the very best for the competition..and yes it's a lovely blog :)
Thank you Arcane...
Deleteyou are so right, and unfortunately only the puppets get punished and the people who should actually be punished go scot free...
i am glad my post got you voicing ur opinion on this sensitive issue....and do keep visiting..
Very original. Nice expressions.
ReplyDeletePS: Whatever you have written, writing it in the form of a poem would have been the best way to express. This is just my personal opinion
Thank you Neeta!
Deletepoems no doubt enhance the beauty of the written word, but in this particular post, im glad i didn't because a dear friend has written a lovely poem on the SAME theme for the SAME contest!!! so it would have been repetitive...
but do read my other poems... the forbidden fruit, ah! to be that river, and many others...and do let me know how u liked them...
Very provocative!!
ReplyDeletei hope for the right reasons...!
DeleteI agree with Neeta,Very original. And very well written. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, these are the people who fall for wrong words and instructions, ideology, religion and used as a pawn endangering the lives of thousand people.
ATB for BAT!
thank you Rohan! that's so true and sad too! like someone said, only if they had gotten some right education....
DeleteEK DUM KADAK ..!
ReplyDeleteNICE STYLE OF WRITING..
I LOVED THE FLOWER PART OF IT TOO.. THAT HOPE AFTER DEATH>>
Thank u Anonymous!!
DeleteA really wonderful post :) What goes on in the minds of those, we shall never know. Maybe they do repent! All the best for BAT! Enjoyed reading this post :)
ReplyDeleteYea..like Bikram pointed out, during those last few hours when they know death is imminent, maybe they do repent....
Deletethank you! glad u liked it!
You have penned the thought process of a terrorist in a wonderful way. The difference between a martyr and the murderer is elementary but complicated and that complication is well conveyed in your post. Nice work :-)
ReplyDeleteunfortunately they are projected as martyrs by their own people and that is the image they carry in their minds.
DeleteThank you for reading...
A very well written post.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly well written.. :)) Reading you after such a long time.. :)
ReplyDeletewelcome back Rohu...long hiatus?
DeleteOh yes, it's the insanity that drives them to do such heinous crimes without remorse! Wonderfully expressed.
ReplyDeleteInsanity it is! Thank you Shilpa!
Delete
ReplyDeleteHi, I am Anjan Roy, A little known blogger of “Anjan Roy’s Vision- Imagination” & I hereby nominate your blog for THE LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD. For more details kindly refer to Liebster Blog Award post at http://anjan5.blogspot.com/2012/12/a-moment-to-cherish-liebster-award.html/, I am Awaiting for your comments, Thanks…!!! :)
Very kind of you Anjan...thanks a ton!!!!
DeleteLove the write! Brilliant!!!!!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteDo visit my blog! Would love to see you by! *cheers*
thank u my dear! have already been to ur blog..maybe i've been a little lazy to comment...! u have a nice blog too!
Deletemy comment got posted?? :(
ReplyDeleteit did!!! :) its the comment moderation that caused the delay!
Delete