We come into
this world alone and we leave it alone. And in between, we get into relationships,
some beautiful and some ugly. On one hand, there are relationships that teach
us to love, share, bond, and trust, and on the other, there are relationships
that teach us to choose wisely, by hitting us where we’d hurt the most. Good or
bad, we need these relationships to make our existence in the world meaningful.
Relationships will not grow by themselves, and like plants, they need to be nurtured.
Here are five pairs of spokes that I think keeps the wheels of relationships
going-
Trust and Honesty-
Trust is the most important factor in a healthy relationship. A relationship is
the weakest when there is more doubt than trust. Trust is as important to a
relationship as air to the lungs. It is not easy to rebuilding trust when it
has been broken. There’s a saying which says, trust is like a cup delicate and fragile,
once broken can be mended, but the crack will always be there. And that is why it
is also important to be honest and truthful.
Communication
and dumping your ego - Lack of communication kills more relationships than any
argument or fights can. Talking things out clears so many issues, but for some
strange reason, people would rather stay quiet than communicate. Body language is also an important mode of non
verbal communication. A good hug, a reassuring pat, an understanding nod, a
loving gaze…there are so many ways to communicate. So even if it is uneasy or
uncomfortable, keep all doors to communicating open. The ego always comes in
between a good relationship, so skip the E and let it GO! Turn the “M” in ME
upside down so it always reads WE. When there is no ego, it opens the doors to
communication.
Love and Respect-
You always get respect when you give respect. And with respect comes love. When
things are bitter in a relationship, it is difficult to respect the other
person and what they say. And that is when we tend to speak disrespectfully and
hurtfully. But most fights end some day, the bitter words may be forgotten, but
how you made someone feel, will never be forgotten.
Understanding
and patience- Agree that you will not have similar opinions about everything,
and will disagree more than you will ever agree. When there is disagreement the
floodgates of anger open up and we tend to say so many things that we wouldn’t
have if we had been patient. Just like no two fingers are the same, no two
people are the same, and so opinions will always differ. Being patient lets us
understand the other can think differently, and this understanding makes
relationships last longer.
Forgive and
forget- To err is human, to forgive divine, it is said. Easier said than done. No
one’s perfect, and mistakes do happen. But when the relationship is more
important than the mistake, it would do good to forgive and forget, not as a
rule though.