We all want to be happy. It is like that elusive piece of the puzzle that has gone missing somewhere. In our search for happiness, we often convince ourselves that if things happened how we had wished for, we’d be so happy. If I had a bigger house or a better car, if I didn’t have this illness or this incompatible spouse, if the weather was not so cold or so hot, I’d be so happy! In short, I want to be happy but these circumstances and people will not let me be!
Are you blaming the universe for conspiring to make you unhappy? Well, here are 5 ways to finding happiness without letting the universe meddle in between!
Do it for yourself.
For example, you decide to buy a new car. Buy it because it makes ‘you’ happy, and enjoy what you brought. Don’t be happy because this car will make your friend jealous, or because it is a better model than what your neighbour brought, or because you were rich enough to afford it. Conversely, don’t be unhappy because your friend bought a better car or you couldn’t afford the other car that you were eyeing and had to be content with this one.
I hope you get the drift. When you do things because it makes ‘you’ feel happy, you will not have to worry about circumstances or people.
Be a child again.
As we grow up, we forget how it is to be a child. It takes very little for a child to be happy because it doesn’t live with expectations. A child doesn’t think much of what it gives and what it receives. But as adults, we do. We get hurt easily, our egos are more fragile, and we expect too much for everything we give. As a result, our minds are in a constant state of agitation.
Be a child once again. Lounge on the bed, roll in the mud (okay, don’t roll your eyes, I didn’t mean that one literally!!), lose yourself in what you do. Live in the present moment, not in the far future or the irrevocable past.
You are not your circumstances.
The sickness, the grief, the agonies, the difficulties are only a part of your life just like good health, joys and victories are. But these are only a part and not the whole. Moreover, these are merely circumstances and not who you are.
The circumstances will not always be right, but you can choose to be who you are, in spite of the circumstances. Just like a 100 rupee note which never diminishes in value whether you fold it or crush it, it continues to be worth 100 rupees.
Happiness is within you. No one, except you, can be responsible for your happiness. One’s happiness or sadness cannot be dependent on things beyond their control. And yet, often we base our state of mind on ‘other’ things! ‘I’m happy because I won some contest.’ ‘I’m sad because I broke up with someone.’ That’s when the equation starts going all wrong - when the reason why you feel in a certain way is because of ‘something else’ and not because of ‘yourself’.
Count your blessings.
The reason why we fail to sense happiness is because we fail to appreciate what we have. Be grateful for the little things you have. Be grateful that you are breathing right now, so many are on ventilator support. Be grateful that you have a house to live in, food to eat, clean water to drink, there are so many who sleep on the street, or are going hungry or are dying of thirst. When you begin to count your blessings, it fills you an inexplicable happiness rooted in gratitude.