Showing posts with label blog-a-ton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog-a-ton. Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Of Moms and Sons!!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 54; the fifty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
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The other day, a friend commented about how I frequently change the pictures on the wall, “You must have a great collection, and even greater patience,” she said.

“No,” I told her plainly,” I’m a mom of two boys!!”

Moms who have only boys will know what I’m talking about. After a while, you just get used to damaged property and replacing and repairing, like that is what you were born to do. A cricket game that ends triumphantly with smashed window panes showering down like a meteor, broken picture frames that hang precariously from the wall begging you to get them off their perch, broken bones and bruises which teach you how you can get blood almost out of anything, patches of greasy palm prints and grafitti all over the walls, which by the way, reflect the sheer wastefulness of getting your home painted; I think you get the drift...yea, that’s what being a mom to only boys is all about. The whole house is their playground, and you will become an expert at ducking before the ball knocks you down...after having been knocked down a few times before! By the time the boys are able to walk about on their own feet, you would know the phone number of the carpenter, mechanic, plumber and any other repair person by heart and they would know your address even as you place your call and say hello!
Toys under the coffee table!
and graffiti on the walls!
You will also learn how to walk without tripping on the umpteen things on wheels that adorn your floor that you so painstakingly just cleaned a few hours ago, and after a few years, cars perched on sofas, trains hanging from the corner of the bed and trucks sitting where the flower vase should have been, no longer seem unusual and cleaning the house does not seems like a necessity anymore! By the way, the flower vase would have by then become past tense and after replacing it for the nth time you will no longer have patience to waste your hard earned money to buy a vase that will soon be broken again.



You will also learn how powerless you become when the cricket and football seasons arrive.  You will have practically no control over the remote, with the boys ganging up on you 3:1. And added to that, they will be perennially hungry, and you will spend most of your time stuck to the stove.

 ‘How do I look’, will always be met with a stony silence and a stare as if it was the most stupid question to ask. Men anyway have no idea how to answer that question, whatever their age! There is never a comment on what kind of makeup looks good on me or what clothes I look good in. The answer will always a ‘hmmm…’ whatever that means!

These are the times I sorely miss having a daughter; a daughter with whom I could share my makeup and jewelry and clothes. Without her, all my years of experience as a girl and woman seem so wasted! My sister’s daughter, all of 8 years, has already laid claim to large part of her mom’s inheritance she tells me, and I look at all the stuff that I have been collecting over the years and worry what will become of them?!

All the stuffed toys that I brought in expectation of having a daughter lie untouched, gathering dust. The teddy bear(s) that should have been cuddled up in the arms of my kids sit high up in the attic! You will learn early on that boys have this fascination for cars and anything that moves on wheels, right from the moment they are born! That and video games. Whatever their age!



But all said and done, I wouldn't trade my boys for anything or anyone in the world. Because some relationships are forever. Can any feeling compare to the way the younger one buries his head into me as he sleeps or the way the elder one curls up on my lap after a tiring day outThe little hands that lock into mine and the shiny eyes that smile at me, the animated non-stop chatter, and the palms that cradle my cheeks, are priceless. And to top that, you get all the attention that only boys can shower you with! 

Ah! the perks of being a mother! 
That's how he sleeps with his face buried into me!!
And those little palms are forever on my cheeks!


Being a mom is forever!!



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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 10

Sunday, March 8, 2015

A Letter...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 52; the fifty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. In association with Metro Diaries by "Namrata". To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
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Dear Present Self,

Happy Women’s Day!

        It seems like an eternity since you were me, and it seems like a miracle that I became you. Little did I imagine that a geeky, bespectacled, girlish, me, would one day turn into a philosophical, mature, you. On this women’s day, here’s what I want to say to you-

        At times, I am mighty pleased with what I see and at times I wish there would be more, but I also know that things indeed happened for the best. That, my love, is the first lesson I want you to keep in mind. Things always happen for the best. If you thought you took the wrong course of study and ended up in a wrong profession, it happened so that you could meet the man you eventually fell in love with and married. All events of your life were destined to be and so learn to accept them with gratitude.

       Don’t be afraid to do what you want to do, because you are in charge of your life and you can radically change your life whenever you want to. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Learn to sing, take salsa lessons, take those vacations, spend some solo time, go around the world, and do what makes you happy. When your future-self writes to you I hope she has no regret. I hope your future-self says, I am glad you enjoyed your life.

       Don’t worry about what people will think and say. People will always have something to say, and there is no reason why you should try so hard to please them. The ones, who truly love you, have been with you through your thick and thin and will always be there for you. I hope you realize who they are. Value them. Spend time with them. Love them.

      The scores on your school mark sheet don’t mean a thing today, so don’t push your kids too hard to get that perfect score. Let them have fun and let them have memories. I am sure that today you remember the memorable times you had as ‘me’ more than the marks you scored. Give them memories that they will cherish for their lifetime.

      Stop beating yourself over mistakes you have made. It is one thing to be self-critical, but quite another to lose sleep over it. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, forgive others for the hurt they might have caused you, and learn to move on. That’s the only way you will be peaceful. Be kind to yourself.

      Value your life. When you were me, I am sure you did not think you’d go so far. Be thankful for every glorious morning you have had since then, and every soulful breath you have taken, for, you don’t know how many you have left. Listen to the birds sing, soak in the sunshine, count the stars, get drenched in the rain, and be a child all over again. These are the only things that will matter. Life is not a race, so you don’t really have to compete with anyone else.

      Several years later when your future-self writes to you, I want her to be happy. I want her to tell you that she has no regrets. I want her to thank you for living well.

     Remember that you are a brave, confident, kind and beautiful woman, and I want you to be that way, always.

With lots of love,
Your Past self.


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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 09

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Together Forever...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 50; the fiftieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. In association with ​Soulmates: Love without ownership by Vinit K Bansal. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
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She was tired of being the perfect homemaker. He was sick of standing up to expectations. She was bored of the same routine, day after day, for what seemed like eternity. He wished the monotony of his work-home-work life could change. She longed for those days when life was a little less complicated, a little less luxurious but a lot more happy. He hoped to return to those days when he thought less and did more. They both wondered if love had flown out the window leaving behind two machines, churning out what was expected of the other. Maybe when you have been married for more than a decade, life did become predictable.They both wondered if they meant anything to each other at all. They had never asked, they had never told and they had never been told.

Today, it had been raining cats and dogs like hell had decided to unleash all its fury on the world below. “I guess I’ll have to work from home today,” he said as he cursed the rain. She didn’t say anything but she cursed the rain nevertheless. The kids were at her parents and she was supposed to join them today. She sighed and returned to the kitchen and cooked and cleaned as was the routine while he tapped away furiously on his laptop. She saw him stealing glances at her every now and then. During their earlier days of marriage, she would have returned back the glances and maybe even flirted with him. But now she didn't even know if the glances meant what they did in those days. Maybe he was just hungry and was wanting to know if food was ready. She served lunch and they ate in silence as they did on most days now. The routine tired her up easily these days. She retired to her room for an afternoon nap. 

And then, she felt his hand on her shoulder.

“Sleeping?” he asked her.

“Umm hmm” she replied.

He lay down besides her, wrapping his hand around her waist. That, kind of surprised her, but she liked the warmth of his palm on her stomach. She closed her eyes thinking of how long it had been since he had found any time for her.

“I wonder what I would have done if I hadn’t married you,” he said burying his face into the back of her neck, snuggling for comfort, and breathing in the aroma of shikakai in her hair.

She felt his warm breath and cold nose nudging her neck, knowing what would happen next. He had never said anything like that before, and she was sure he would follow it up with a quirky husband joke that was making rounds on whatsapp nowadays. She did not make an attempt to say anything. Let him crack his measly joke, she thought and pretended to sleep.

“My life would have been a mess.”

Surprised, she turned to face him.

“You know, I owe you so much. You sacrificed your career to look after the kids. I am amazed how well you bring them up. Thank you giving me these lovely children and raising them so perfectly.” And then he leaned in to kiss her.

She didn’t know what she should say. This was pretty unexpected. She just smiled.

“It is just because you manage the home, our parents and kids so well, that I have been able to focus on work and get to where I am today. I owe my success to you. You know exactly what I need, you push me to do my best, and you accept with all my flaws and believe in me like no one does. I tell everyone what a lucky guy I am to have found you, but I realized I never told you that."

Yes, he had never told her thatShe had never told him that either. 

She had always thought he took her for granted. She craved for his appreciation, but wondered if he ever knew how hard she worked to keep everything going so smoothly. But he knew. And that pleased her no end.

Both lay side by side lost in some thought. Maybe, wondering how often they had taken their partner for granted, not recognising all that they did for each other.

"By the way, did I tell you the food was awesome today? It always is. That is why I married you in the first place!" He winked as she rolled her eyes.  "I love you,”he said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I love you too" she said and gave him a peck on his cheek, trying to suppress a tear that threatened to flow out.

“I wonder how your life would have been if you hadn’t married me. Would you have been happier?” he asked.

 Did he think she was regretting marrying him? She had been lost in her own world these days, but marrying him had been the biggest joy of her life. He must know that. 

“I am happy I married you,” she said, “I wouldn’t have been happier with anyone else.”  She felt good saying this to him. “Who else would have supported me the way you do? Who else would have taken care of my parents with the love and respect that you do? You are the first person I think of when in a crisis and the first person I think of when I am bursting with happiness. You are the only one who understands my silence as well as my temper.”

“Sshhh….” He put a finger to her lip. “If my friends listen to this it will be blasphemous, they could jail me for understanding "the wife"…” he said in all seriousness.

They both burst out laughing.

“Who else can dare to tell me that I look awful in that yellow saree or know that I can crave for chocolates in the middle of the night and magically produce it out of nowhere,” she continued, still laughing, and letting the tear find its way out of her eye.

“Ahh…yes, you and your midnight cravings! The trips you made us take to ice cream parlours when we were about to have Sonu.”

“‘I’ was the one who had Sonu” she corrected. And then as an afterthought, “No you had him too! I remember that pain on your face inside the labour room. No one could say for sure if I having a baby or you!” she teased.

They burst out laughing again and then held each other so close like they’d never let the other go. It was not just enough to love. It was as important to let your loved one know. There was an amazing security in knowing that you are loved as much.

“Did you know, the Greek mythology has a story,” he said, gently stoking her hair, “Once upon a time, long long ago, all people had four legs and two heads. And then the gods threw down thunderbolt and split everyone into two. Each half had two legs and one head now. But the separation left both sides yearning to be reunited, because they shared the same soul. And ever since the souls search for their soulmate all through their lives.”

“I am happy our souls got united,” she said kissing him all over, “or else I would have to wander forever searching for you.”


                             
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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 08

Sunday, August 3, 2014

An apology

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 48; the forty-eighth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
                                            This post won me the silver batom!! Yay!! 
  
                                                        ***************** 

 "Don't you think you must apologize to me?" That sounded more like a demand than a request.

Trust Mr-know-all to flaunt his arrogance like that! she thought. So typical of him! Why did always think he could do no wrong? He always assumed she was the weaker one and his sole purpose in life was to guide her! 

"And why would I do that?" she asked.

"For all the hurt I have endured because of you."

"That is not true!"she exclaimed. "Are you accusing me of causing you hurt? Me????"

"I am...! I think before I act. That is how I shield myself from getting hurt. I don't act impulsively like you."

"One doesn't 'think' when one is in love." she looked hurt.

"That is the more irrational thing I've ever heard! When you don't think, here is where you land." 

His sarcasm was getting to her.

"Ha! What would you know about love anyway, you practical fool!"

"What would I know??! Let me tell you what I know, being in love is like living in a fool's paradise. Would you dare to disagree?"

"But it is still paradise." The tinge of sadness was evident in her voice. 

"So why are tears flooding your eyes then? Being in heaven shouldn't hurt like hell."

"It hurts when the person who made you feel so special suddenly leaves you hanging. It's crazy when the person who swore that he'll never hurt you, is the one who hurts you the most."  

"You messed up your feelings and you messed up mine. I was treading with caution but you made me toe your line. You convinced me you were right. But now I know you weren't! I would have done well to have let my thoughts rule me than having your emotions butt in!"

"Okayyy....if it is an apology you want, you shall have it. I'm sorry for hoping you'd know what I want." she had had enough of his rebuttal, of telling her how wrong she was. She knew she wasn't, but she didn't want to keep arguing with him. He'd never understand anyway! 

They had always been poles apart. He, the rational mind and she, the nimble heart. 

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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 07

Sunday, June 8, 2014

The sound of silence...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 47; the forty-seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
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An eerie silence had descended on the village. As the news spread, villagers had started piling up near the old peepal tree. They looked on speechlessly, wiping away a tear that seemed to occasionally flood their eyes. The quiet itself was quite chilling. You could hear a pin drop if you heard closely. Munni’s body hung from the branch of the tree, bearing a testimony to the brutal way she had borne the savage of the beasts.

Munni’s little 4 year old sister looked at her in awe. What was this new game didu was playing? Just yesterday, didu had taught her how to swing on the tyre that hung from the same tree branch. It had been so much fun! She had screamed in delight as the swing kissed the skies. Why was the rope around her neck today? And why wasn’t didu swinging? Maybe it was a new game. She would ask didu when she came down.

The silent protests had done nothing to unnerve the beasts. The beasts had assumed the silence was out of fear. 

Fear of their autocracy. 

Fear of their power. 

They had ravaged the village before and they would do it again. Who would stop them? The arrogance was smug on their faces. Ignorant villagers! Did they think their silence would be heard? Who would hear the silence when the loudest of voices could be easily muffled?

The beasts had been celebrating their victory. After years of protest, the villagers had finally been tamed. There was not one voice of dissent. Their revelry had reached dizzying proportions. But what they had not anticipated was the power of silence. They had not anticipated the entire village to turn up at their den. The din of the crapulous beasts was soon drowned in the cacophony of sharp axes, pitchforks, plows, cudgels and spears. Silence prevailed again, and one could hear nothing except the sound of blood sputtering out of the bodies of the beasts. 

 Munni had been avenged. And with that so many like her had been avenged too. 

The arrogance had been pithed. They and their ilk had been taught that silence must be heard. No one would now dare to de-sanctify their village and its goddesses.

And all that could be heard after that was the sound of silence.

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The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 06

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Light at the end of the tunnel....

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 43; the forty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "LIGHT"

                                                 This post won the Silver Batom....!!!


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 “Call me as soon as you reach Hyderabad, don’t forget, ok?” said Malini looking visibly concerned.

Sending your 18 year old daughter alone on a night bus to a city 500 kms away wasn’t so safe in these days and times. But who could ever win an argument with Shreya? Once she had made up her mind, no one could persuade her to change it. Malini had tried her best to convince Shreya to study in the city, but the young girl had her heart set on a prestigious college in Hyderabad and had worked hard towards getting admission to the college of her choice. And now she was leaving home to join college in a new city with new people, and Malini grew sick trying to think of how Shreya would adjust to the new environment.

Shreya gave her a shrug and a nod, so typical of girls her age. It was beyond her comprehension why her mom was so ballistic about her studying in Hyderabad. She wondered how her mom would react when she told her about her plans of going abroad for her Masters. We’ll cross the bridge when we come to it, she thought and smiled.

“Bye Ma, you take care, ok? Take medicines on time, eat on time and get some good sleep, don’t fret over me. I’ll be fine.” She said giving her mom a peck on her cheeks.

Her mom was crying now, hugging her daughter tightly, as if she’d never let her go.

“Oh Ma, come on now, don’t do this, we’ve discussed this a hundred times before. Now be a good mom, and give me a smile.” She comforted her mom and wiped away a tear before rushing out. “I’m getting late, ma, don’t wanna miss the bus. Muaahhhh Ma” she blew her mom a kiss just before she disappeared out of the gate.  

                                                                *************

14A…14A….Ah! Here it is… she found her seat, settled into it, plugged her earphone on and closed her eyes. She could feel the bus filling up, and then someone settling into the seat besides hers. She was in no mood for small talk and chose to keep her eyes closed. Leaving home was an emotional moment for her too but she had tried not to show. Nothing could come in between the grand plans she’d made for herself. Not her mom, not her emotions, nothing. She knew her mom would be all alone now, but Shalini aunty next door had promised to look after her. Her thoughts of her mom and her home coupled with the soft whirring of the bus and the gentle movement soon lulled her to sleep.

                                                             **************
Shreya got up holding her abdomen. The pain was severe and she wondered how she was able to actually get up in spite of the pain. Suddenly, what had seemed like a sharp shooting pain had miraculously vanished and she felt just fine. She touched her abdomen where it had been hurting and it seemed like it had been a bad dream. Something bright shone in the distance and she opened, closed and blinked her eyes trying to adjust her vision to the source.

And then she saw it.

A bright blinding light.

Seeming to come from what looked like the end of a tunnel.



Walk towards the light Shreya. A soft voice called to her.

Shreya, obeyed and walked as if in a trance. And then she stopped mid track; her attention diverted as she saw the bus.

The bus she had been travelling in.

Turned turtle, it lay in the middle of nowhere. And then there were people. People gathered around, trying to pull the passengers out of the bus. A girl in a blue salwar kameez was now being brought out. The body looked limp and lifeless. Her earphone wrapped around her neck. Shreya, instinctively touched her ears.

No earphones. Where did her earphones go?

And then she walked closer to the girl. The earphones looked similar to hers. The girl was bleeding at her abdomen. Something sharp seemed to have pierced through. Then she looked at the girl’s face.  
Image: Pixabay.com

Oh God! That’s me! Am I…?. She cupped her mouth with both her palms drawn together and froze even as reality dawned on her. 

That’s why the bright light… 

She took one last look at her own lifeless body and then turned around and began walking towards the bright light at the end of the tunnel, shoulders drawn in, and her back almost in a hunch. Her heart was overcome with grief at the thought of how little she had been able to achieve and how little she had lived. She thought of her mother, what she would go through, looking at her daughter’s dead body. She didn’t even want to think about it. 

God, why me? What did I do to deserve this?

Keep walking child; you are in my care now. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

It was the same voice. But it wasn’t like someone was speaking to her. It almost seemed like the voice was in her head. She continued to walk towards that light. As she emerged from the tunnel, she saw the bright light but now it looked brighter and pulsating with life, the air filled with aromas she had never smelt before and music so soothing that she had never heard before. Someone was walking towards her, and she thought that he looked so much like her.

 “My child, my Shreya” he said giving her a hug.

“Who are you?” she asked pushing him away.

“Bhaskar, your father.”

“No, you are not my dad, my dad’s Anil Kumar.”

The man just smiled and walked away. Then she saw her dad and ran to him.

“Dad, I missed you so much. How could you leave us like that?”

Her dad smiled and held her hands in his. “Sometimes, that’s the only option we have, child. Your mom is right about what she thinks.”

What did he mean by that? But she seldom understood what he said.

Then she heard that voice again.

Close your eyes child.

She did as she was told. Glimpses of her entire life passed by like she were watching a movie. The little Shreya, center of her mom’s world, everything her parents had done for her, the fun times, the sad times, her dad’s sudden passing away, her school life, her friends, the times she had hurt her mom, everything. When she opened her eyes, there was no one with her.

“That is it God? I really haven’t got much done isn’t it? I can’t believe you took me so soon.”

What is it that you wanted to do?

“I wanted to get a degree, go abroad do my masters, get a great job, get married, have kids, lead a good life.” 

All that is of no use when you come here. As you have already seen, you will not bring anything of it with you. Do you want to see what you left behind? Look there.

She saw herself lying on a bed in the ICU. Bandages running across her abdomen and wires running, literally, everywhere. Then she saw her mom. She was standing outside the ICU. The doctor was talking to her.

“I don’t think we can save your daughter, not even a miracle can,” the doctor was saying to her distraught mother.

What a liar, I’m already dead. Why doesn’t he just say so? She thought.

Because you aren’t...not yet. The voice.

Her mom broke down and there was no one to console her. It pained Shreya beyond what she had imagined.

Suddenly the truth dawned on her.

How she wished she could hold her mom again and sleep on her lap! She meant so much to her mother but she had only thought about herself and nothing more. In fact, she had never thought about anyone else. She had been proud, arrogant, and selfish all through.

I’ll grant you a choice, child. You can choose between coming back to life or going towards death. If you choose life, you’ll wake up in that hospital bed and go on to lead life till you come back to me again. If you choose death, you’ll be free of all your bonds and stay here with me.

“God, give me another chance please, I beg of you. I understood what you meant…what my purpose in life is. Let me go and live that life you would have wanted me to lead.”

                                                        **************

The electrocardiograph had started showing signs of activity again, just as the nurse was about to report that it had become blank. She rushed out to call the doctor.

“Maliniji, looks like there’s been a miracle, this is not something you see every day. Congratulations, your daughter is a fighter after all.”

                                                         ***************

A fortnight later, Shreya was ready to go home, though she still needed to rest for some more time.

“Mom, would you believe if I told you I went to heaven and came back?”

“I’ll believe anything you tell me darling.”

Poor child, she thought, must be hallucinating from all that heavy medications and anesthesia.

As if reading her mind, she asked again, “Would you still not believe me if I told you that I met Bhaskar, who said he’s my dad?”

“What….?”

“And that the only dad I know, committed suicide? You knew that all along, didn’t you? He said you were right.”

“How…? Oh my God… Shreya….” She didn’t know what to say. Shreya couldn’t have known any of this. She had never mentioned this to anyone ever. No one except herself knew. Did Shreya really die and come back? Did she really meet her father? Maybe it was time to tell her everything.

She knew her mother believed her now. “Can I sleep on your lap mom?”

Shreya smiled as her mom ruffled her hair. Life never gives you a second chance, she was just plain lucky. The light at the end of the tunnel had shown her the way.                   
       
                                                         ***************


The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 05

Sunday, October 6, 2013

The brown belt.

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 42; the forty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "COLOR"



Abhay pulled up his trousers for the umpteenth time, like every day. He almost did it subconsciously like it was akin to breathing. Any trouser was a misfit on those skinny hips of his. But he never wore a belt. Wearing a belt brought back memories.

Image: Pixabay.com


Painful Memories.

Those of his father. Of the putrid smell of alcohol mixed with smoke. Of his towering, overpowering presence in their shanty. Of being thrashed mercilessly. That snaking brown belt. Around his father's rotund belly. How he dreaded it when his father ripped it off it's favourite perch! How he cowered when it found its way on to him! Of the blue and red strips on his back and hands, and his legs and face. Across his ears. Yeah, that incident had left him partially deaf. And partially blind. He remembered withering away slowly. The years of wetting his bed after evenings of whippings.  The feeling of sleeping on a bed of thorns. The ache penetrating every nerve ending in his body. 

The belt. The brown belt.


Why him? he wondered. Was it his mother? Was it because she ran away? Or was it because she ran away with his best friend? Maybe he reminded him of his mother. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the penury. 

Memories.

Beads of perspiration began to form on his forehead as he thought about them. He felt a pool of water forming at his feet. His trouser soaking in the warm wetness. His slippers starting to smell.

Memories.

Shalini. The only love of his otherwise drab life. What a breath of fresh air she was! Warm like the sunshine, untouched like the morning dew, and delicate like a flower. He smiled as he thought of her and how much colour she had added to his life. And then the smile turned to a cry as her lifeless body spun around in his head. His piercing cry rented the air as he buried his face into his palms letting the tears of anguish flood them. The black burns of cigarette butt on her unblemished skin, the teeth marks that had left behind red blood clots, and the look of terror on her face had shattered him. And then he saw his father. Lying next to her, consumed by alcohol, consumed by lust, consumed by his own apathy. The brown belt lying next to him. 


He had run out and retched till his stomach hurt. The years of being thrashed seemed painless now. 

He returned a little while later. He looked at her body lying limp on the ground, terror still evident in her eyes. He sat down beside her and wept. The beast still lay asleep. Abhay reached into his pockets and felt the silver cold metal against his warm hands.  His fingers slid effortlessly into the groove underneath. They landed a string of six messengers of death into his father’s head. The smell of burnt flesh pervaded his senses as he bent down to feel his father’s pulse. There was no sign of life.

Then he closed her eyes shut. She had seen enough. Enough for redemption. He removed the ragged brown belt lying next to the beast and fastened it around his neck like a noose. Pulling it tight till he felt the neck snap.

Just to be sure. 

Just symbolically.

He smiled. And pulled up the trouser weighed down by the wetness. The smell didn’t bother him any more.

The brown belt. It was no more.

They were now just memories.
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Sunday, August 4, 2013

The wish.....


This post won the Gold batom too!!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 40; the fortieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "MAKE A WISH"


“Make a wish, Saanvi…” said Rishi covering Saanvi’s eyes.

“What..? She asked giggling like a school girl.

Oh! How he loved those giggles.

“I said, make a wish and blow the candles, I’m starving.”

“Hmmm… oookay….. I wish Rishi would take me on a trekking and camping trip to Mullayanagiri.”

“Whoa! I wasn’t expecting that, Saanu.” He had secretly been hoping it would be something more romantic.

“So now, I made my wish, when are we going?” She asked rubbing her hands in glee.

“Blow out these candles, I’ll plan something,” he promised, ruffling her hair lovingly.

Saanvi was a total surprise package, he could never predict what she would do or ask next. But that’s what drew him to her in the first place. He hoped he would be able to tell her how much he was in love with her at least during the trek. He wondered if she already had an inkling of his feelings and was just feigning innocence.

                                                            ***********
The five of them begun their 4 km climb, up to the Mullayanagiri peak, in the Baba Budanagiri range of the Western ghats of Chikmanglur. The fog covered mountains were breathtaking.




“Saanvi and Tanya, please stop behaving like kids, can you see how the path snakes around? You don’t want to slip and injure yourselves, do you?” chided Abhishek. He had always been scared to take risks, and now with the responsibility of these two girls, he was even more scared.

Both of them walked behind him like obedient school girls.

Saanvi suddenly let out a shrill scream, covering her mouth with her hands and looking at Abhishek.

“What…t happened…you ok?” he asked terrified that something might have gone wrong.

She continued to scream pointing to his shoulder. Abhishek glanced at his shoulder, 

“aaaaaa……” he shouted, “help..snake….Rishi…..Akash……help!”

Even as Rishi and Akash rushed to him, the girls burst out laughing.

“Let me help you, Abhi,” mocked Saanvi, still giggling, as she removed the rubber snake from his shoulder and plonked it into her bag.

“Learn to take care of yourself first, ok?” She winked, happy that the revenge had been executed to perfection. 

Abhi was clearly not amused. He had not even wanted to come on this trek, only if Rishi hadn’t pulled him in, he would have been happily reading his favourite book in the comforts of his home.

They had been walking steadily along the path that was aptly called “Sarpa Dhari”, snaking and winding for a good 4 kms. The steep stretch passed through bushes and low trees before it turned right leading to a ravine. The paths had become quite slippery due to the rains, and they continued climbing taking short breaks to admire the nature in all its beauty. The view of the colourful flowers and fog covered mountains were breathtaking. As they reached the top of a cliff, they felt the wind roar.



“It’s soooooooo beautiful…” screamed Saanvi as she and Tanya held hands and whirled round and round, the wind blowing their tresses all across their faces.

Rishi took out his camera, and began clicking pictures; he didn’t want to miss this look on Saanvi’s face. Everyone had been busy posing for pictures while Abhi stood aloof, still sulking.

“Oh come on Abhi,” Saanvi pulled him to where everyone was standing, “Are you still angry with me? I was just joking. Cheer up.”

“In case your thinking I’m a coward, let me tell you I’m not, I was actually bothered that there might be something wrong with you girls.” He explained, his hands making wild gestures in the air.

“Ok, then why don’t you stand at the edge of the cliff and pose for a picture, we’ll see how brave you are” she challenged.

“Big deal! Don’t you dare challenge Abhi, ” Tanya winked at Saanvi and then turning to Abhi, “You can do it, isn’t it Abhi? Go show her.” She mocked.

This Saanvi could be a real pain in all the wrong places, thought Abhi, What did Rishi find so attractive in this brainless beauty, he wondered as he walked up to the edge of the cliff, his feet trembling with fear and his heart thumping loudly. He saw the girls giving him thumbs up.

“Rishi one photo of our brave boy, Abhi, please,” she said and then she looked at Abhi, “Abhi, Titanic pose,” she screamed at him, spreading out her hands and showing him what she meant.

Rishi smiled. “Ok, Abhi, ready?”

Suddenly a strong gust of wind, blowing at high speed took them all by surprise. Rishi’s camera dropped to the ground and before they could steady themselves, they heard a piercing scream. Abhi was nowhere to be seen and all they could hear was his loud screaming. They rushed to the edge of the cliff and saw Abhi dangling over a tree branch several feet down.

“Abhi, don’t panic, we’ll get you,” shouted Akash as he unhooked the bundle of rope fastened to his waist and threw it down at Abhi. It was just the right length.

Abhi wasn’t even listening to them; he looked at the deep gorge below and screamed even louder.

“Don’t look down, Abhi.” Akash shouted.

No response.

“He isn’t listening to us,” said Rishi, “I’ll go down and get him; he will never hold onto this rope and climb up by himself.”

“No, Rishi, this could be risky, don’t go” Saanvi held his arm, pulling him back.

“I must help him my dear; don’t you see how scared he is? He might not be able to hold on to that tree any longer. Moreover, he didn’t want to come with us, I was the one who forced him to. How can I leave him like this? Nothing will happen to me. Let me go.”

Rishi secured one end of the rope to his waist and the other end to a tree nearby and rappelled down to Abhi.

Rishi reached him and untied his rope, securing it to Abhi’s waist. Abhi was shivering with fright and perspiring even in the nippy climate outside. Rishi patted his back, “all will be fine, be bold”. Then he signaled to the gang to hoist Abhi up.

“I’m going to die, I’m going to die, someone save me…..” he kept screaming with every pull of the rope.

When he was finally back to safety, Akash threw the rope to Rishi, so that he could climb back.
It had begun to rain and a boulder rolled down the slopes hitting Rishi. Rishi lost hold of the tree branch and he rolled several feet down the hill slopes.

“Rishi……..” screamed Saanvi as she saw Rishi slide.

Luckily he found another branch and held on to it in the nick of time.

“Thank god…..” they cried in unison. Akask threw the rope to him but it was way too short.

“I’m going down,” declared Saanvi, securing the rope to her waist.

“How will that help? The rope is too short for that” reasoned Akash.

“I’ll reach the tree where Abhi was stuck and throw the rope down to Rishi securing the end to that tree. Once he reaches there, we’ll find a way to climb up.”

“That is madness, Saanvi, this is not possible.”

But she refused to listen and began rappelling down to the tree where Abhi had been stuck, even before they could stop her. Rishi saw her coming down and screamed at her, “What do you think you are doing, Saanvi?”

She had reached the tree and was struggling to find a foothold.

“Saanvi, go back, it’s an order, go back, please.” 

“I’m not going back without you.”

Even as she struggled, the tree branch broke making it impossible for her to land on it.

“Saanvi, don’t do this, there’s no way you will be able to reach me.”

They looked into each other eyes as she realized the futileness of her effort and he realized how impossible it was for him to get back.

Tears streamed down her eyes as she looked around for support. There was none. Rishi was dangling precariously and there were tears in his eyes too. Rishi shouted for Aakash to pull her back to safety.

“No, Rishi, I’ll untie myself if you don’t let me rescue you.” She threatened.

‘Saanvi……,” he closed his eyes, and bit his lip; “I want to tell you something” he paused again, he did not want it to happen like this, but he had to tell her. “I love you.”

“Is this how you propose to a girl, you idiot?” she was crying softly now.

He laughed. “I’m sorry. But this is the best I can do now. I want you to know that I have always loved you with all my heart and you mean the world to me.”

“You can do better than that. Wait till we get back to safety. Then I want a full filmy style proposal.” She choked as she spoke the last sentence.

“No, Saanvi, we both know, that will not happen.” He heard the branch starting to creek under his weight.

“I love you too. I have been waiting for this day forever. I did not wish it to be like this.” She was crying bitterly now.

 “You must promise me that you will let yourself be pulled up now.”

“No, I’m trying to pull myself down to reach you. I know we’ll make it.”

She was trying to gain foothold by making a clearing in the place where the tree had been. Rishi knew it was useless as she would have no support to pull him up. Then he saw another boulder about to break loose just above Saanvi.

He realized what he must do. “Saanvi, if you really love me, you must go back. We will meet in some other life.” And then he let go of the branch he had been holding on to, hurtling down several feet in to the ravine below.

She looked at him with shock in her eyes, her arms outstretched in vain. Their eyes remained locked till she saw the last of him.

                                                                *******************

This was one wish, she would have been happy, left unfulfilled.



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