It is said, ‘To err is human, to forgive divine”!
But that is easier said than done,isn't it?!! How do I forgive someone
who has hurt me? Especially when that person was one of the most important person
in my life. How do I forget the turbulence that person sparked off inside me by
being so insensitive? How do I forget those venomous words which brought tears
to my eyes and pain to my heart? How do I tell myself to forgive that person
and erase from my memory the way that person made me feel? I don’t want to
forgive and I don’t want to forget!
But over a period of time that venom has turned more
spiteful, and I realize the more I hate that person, the angrier I get, and the
more I hold a grudge, the more difficult it is for me to be at peace. It feels
like I’m carrying a burden. That person is always on my mind. And I’m
constantly thinking about all the bitter things that transpired between us. It makes
me feel that pain again and again and all over again each time I think about
it. Every scene replays and feels like it happened just now. And every word feels
like it was spoken just now. The more I think about it all, the more I feel the
agony. It makes me sad, it makes me tearful and it pains me no end. At the end
of the thought cycle, I hate the person more and I resolve to never forgive.
As this vicious cycle carries on and on, I realize, I have
started having headaches and body aches, disturbed sleep and poor appetite, I am
lost in my own world and my concentration is poor, I am distracted to the point
of being forgetful. I want to know how that person is doing. And it pains me
more to see all is well at that end. Why am I the only one suffering?
And then, one day I decide it is enough. I tell myself, that
I will make a conscious effort to forgive and forget. I decide to concentrate instead,
on the good times we had, the special moments we shared, the things I loved about
us. It makes me smile. They were indeed
the best times of my life. Then I mentally thank that person for having been a part of
my life and bringing me that happiness. I bless that person and say I
forgive you for everything. And
do so with all my heart. And then I let
go.
Miraculously I feel lighter. Like a burden has been lifted
off my chest. I feel good, I feel at peace. As the days pass, I no longer think
about and fret about the things that have been said or done. Slowly, the aches disappear and I feel alive
all over again. I sometimes do think about that person, but I’m not spiteful
when I do so. I can smile and wave at that person when our paths cross without a
hint of grudge or hate.
A small act of forgiveness.
That was something i did for myself....
