Happiness they say is a state of the mind.
I
didn’t quite understand that. Whose state of mind? Mine or others? What state
of mind? There is so much driving me mad that I don’t really know how do I take
my mind to that blissful state! Sometimes there’s so much emptiness, there’s so
much despair, and then, there are circumstances, and situations and people, who
will not let me be happy.......or is it really so?
Yeah, this was so until some
time ago. I thought my happiness depends on a whole lot of factors....it
depends on everything else but me! No wonder that magic potion called happiness
eluded me like the plague!
Co-incidentally, during the same time, I
happened to attend a satsang (a
spiritual discourse) by my guru, and the topic of the satsang , yes, you
guessed it, was Happiness! She said, we are the only ones responsible for our
happiness, not other people, not circumstances, not situations, nothing except
us. We blame others for our unhappiness because it’s easy and it gives us a cushion
to hide behind. If you are in pain, can anyone take away your pain? No? Then how
can anyone take away your happiness?
I am not happy because...I have a reason.
I am upset because...... I have a reason.
I am hurt because.....I have a reason.
And reasons are all we have! How convenient!!
Whom are we trying to kid, putting the onus of
our happiness on others?
We often tend to forget that happiness is not a
result of getting something we did not have....it is a result of recognising and appreciating what we already have! A person
with one foot could be happy recognising and appreciating that he at least has
one foot, when there are more unfortunate guys out there with none at all!!
It is never how much we have....but how much we are able to enjoy what we have!
A child playing in the mud could be as happy if not happier than the one
playing with expensive toys in the comfort of an air conditioned home!!
It is not
being free from problems and troubles......but the ability to deal with them! Happiness is never a state of
perfection...far from it....it is looking
beyond the imperfections! It is not having what you want...it is wanting what you have!
Have you ever noticed what happens to you when
you are really happy? Tears stream down your cheeks? You feel warm and fuzzy
inside? You smile? You are motivated to do more? You feel loved and you love
more? Think of situations when you were really happy.....
Celebrating an important event.....getting that
much coveted seat in the college of your choice or job of your choice.... Holding
your child in your arms for the first time ever.....it could be anything! And who
exactly was responsible for your happiness each time? And was it the perfect situation
to give you happiness. Chances are they weren’t nearly as perfect.
I’ll tell you what I mean. When my second child
was born, he was premature. Holding the tiny one in my arms reduced me to
tears. Of course they were tears of happiness. But the situation was not
perfect at all....the baby was not only premature, he had broncho-pneumonia at birth
and had to be kept in NICU for almost a month after that... and the doctor had
briefed us beforehand that this would probably be a possibility. But still the
joy of holding the little one is inexplicable! We could choose to dwell on the fact that he
will have to be in the NICU and feel sad about it or feel happy about the fact that
he was in our midst, and we had a new addition to the family. Choosing the latter,
not only let us enjoy our moment of happiness but also gave us strength to tide
through till the baby came home safe and healthy!
I know that not all situations have happy
endings, but by savouring the moments of happiness you add to your stock of joyous
memories. The only person who can make you happy is you, and when you pass that
power to other people, you give them the power to control your smile, your
worth and your attitude. So don’t wait for everything to be perfect to be able
to be happy.....seize every moment and find happiness in everything that you
do!!
.jpg)
Have a happy day!
