Happiness they say is a state of the mind.
I didn’t quite understand that. Whose state of mind? Mine or others? What state of mind? There is so much driving me mad that I don’t really know how do I take my mind to that blissful state! Sometimes there’s so much emptiness, there’s so much despair, and then, there are circumstances, and situations and people, who will not let me be happy.......or is it really so?
Yeah, this was so until some time ago. I thought my happiness depends on a whole lot of factors....it depends on everything else but me! No wonder that magic potion called happiness eluded me like the plague!
Co-incidentally, during the same time, I happened to attend a satsang (a spiritual discourse) by my guru, and the topic of the satsang , yes, you guessed it, was Happiness! She said, we are the only ones responsible for our happiness, not other people, not circumstances, not situations, nothing except us. We blame others for our unhappiness because it’s easy and it gives us a cushion to hide behind. If you are in pain, can anyone take away your pain? No? Then how can anyone take away your happiness?
I am not happy because...I have a reason.
I am upset because...... I have a reason.
I am hurt because.....I have a reason.
And reasons are all we have! How convenient!!
Whom are we trying to kid, putting the onus of our happiness on others?
We often tend to forget that happiness is not a result of getting something we did not have....it is a result of recognising and appreciating what we already have! A person with one foot could be happy recognising and appreciating that he at least has one foot, when there are more unfortunate guys out there with none at all!!
It is never how much we have....but how much we are able to enjoy what we have! A child playing in the mud could be as happy if not happier than the one playing with expensive toys in the comfort of an air conditioned home!!
It is not being free from problems and troubles......but the ability to deal with them! Happiness is never a state of perfection...far from it....it is looking beyond the imperfections! It is not having what you want...it is wanting what you have!
Have you ever noticed what happens to you when you are really happy? Tears stream down your cheeks? You feel warm and fuzzy inside? You smile? You are motivated to do more? You feel loved and you love more? Think of situations when you were really happy.....
Celebrating an important event.....getting that much coveted seat in the college of your choice or job of your choice.... Holding your child in your arms for the first time ever.....it could be anything! And who exactly was responsible for your happiness each time? And was it the perfect situation to give you happiness. Chances are they weren’t nearly as perfect.
I’ll tell you what I mean. When my second child was born, he was premature. Holding the tiny one in my arms reduced me to tears. Of course they were tears of happiness. But the situation was not perfect at all....the baby was not only premature, he had broncho-pneumonia at birth and had to be kept in NICU for almost a month after that... and the doctor had briefed us beforehand that this would probably be a possibility. But still the joy of holding the little one is inexplicable! We could choose to dwell on the fact that he will have to be in the NICU and feel sad about it or feel happy about the fact that he was in our midst, and we had a new addition to the family. Choosing the latter, not only let us enjoy our moment of happiness but also gave us strength to tide through till the baby came home safe and healthy!
I know that not all situations have happy endings, but by savouring the moments of happiness you add to your stock of joyous memories. The only person who can make you happy is you, and when you pass that power to other people, you give them the power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude. So don’t wait for everything to be perfect to be able to be happy.....seize every moment and find happiness in everything that you do!!
Have a happy day!