Y for Yearning

Yearning or intensely longing for someone can cause the heart to ache, and can cause an intense emotional upheaval. 

This tale is about Radha's yearning for her beloved Krishna and his yearning for her.

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 Radha’s eyes filled with tears and they flowed freely drenching her fair cheeks. It had been so long since she had seen her Krishna.

“Why do you cry Radha? Haven’t I come back just for you?” said Krishna wiping her tears.

“Let them flow Krishna, let them wash away the yearning I have held in my heart for so long,” she said.

Krishna closed his eyes, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears, hearing her speak thus. How could he who knows everything be oblivious to the pain of his beloved?

They stood for a very long time under the Kadamba tree, their hearts as laden with yearning as the fruits on the tree under which they stood, holding each other in an embrace that came after years of separation.

Krishna remembered seeing Radha for the last time as he had left for Mathura. “Must you go, Krishna?” she had asked him repeatedly, holding his hands, and shriveled up by his feet, till he could console her no more.

As Krishna mounted his chariot to leave Vraja, he had looked longingly at Radha, his heart heavy with sadness seeing her disconsolate self. His eyes followed her till he could see her no more, and her eyes ensnared by his love, had followed him back till the chariot disappeared into the woods.

“Like a flowering creeper in the forest wilderness, I have often ventured alone at nights to search the woods for you, Krishna,” she said, “I have stalked every haunt where we have spent endless time in each other’s company,” she said, breaking down into an uncontrolled frenzy, and he held her gently, sharing in her agony.

“I have pined for you too, my love,” he said, gently stroking her head, “I saw you everywhere; I saw you in every woman, I saw your eyes in the twinkling stars, I saw your face in the beautiful moon, and I have wished every moment that you could be by my side.”

“I saw you everywhere too, Krishna,” she said, “I saw you in every grain of sand, in every drop of water, every morsel of food and every breath of air.”

Her love for him had surpassed his in all possible measures.

For days after his departure, she had wandered aimlessly and had lost interest in everything that she did. She was hopelessly impassioned and madly in love with him and seeing him leave had broken her heart.

“My friends made fun of me as I stood by the well, lost in your thoughts, even as my pot overflowed with water. They laughed at my trembling gait and endless sighs,” she said, like it was entirely his fault.

He smiled at her sudden transformation from a lovelorn woman to an innocent child, and held his ears, a sorry look in his eyes, as if asking for forgiveness.

Her innocence then changed to guilt and she fell at his lotus feet, even as he looked at her confused, “Forgive me Krishna. I was so angry with you at one time that I tried to forget you, and banish you from my heart.”

Krishna smiled. “The yogi performs arduous meditation so that he may get a tiny glimpse of me in his heart, and this lovesick girl strived to banish me from hers?” he teased her.

 “Radha, you are the support on whom I rest eternally, you are my life, my atma, and I’m dead without you.” 

And then he sang a soft tune for her;

Can you separate the white from the milk,

or the burning from the fire?

Can you separate the smell in the earth,

or the dampness from the rain?

Then how could I ever separate

 you from me, aren’t we the same?

Radha smiled and took off from where he left,

I have been formed, out of half your body,

Together we are one,

My heart, and soul rests in you,

as your heart and soul is in mine.

He then led her to their favorite place in the woods, and together they sat once again on the swing. As they swung wildly in the autumn breeze, he played his flute and she leaned on to him contentedly, soaking in his presence, the yearning in her heart finally fulfilled.

Image courtesy: Google

This day... Last Year...Y for Yap