Wednesday, May 21, 2014

From grieving to obsessing......


How much can one grieve over a lost purse? I guess grieve would be a wrong word..I guess I should say, obsess! That's what I have been doing since my purse got picked at a railway station. It is not so much about the money that I lost, it is more about the pride that was hurt. I have always been proud of being a very careful person when I travel. I don't recall having lost anything ever, not even a small key chain. God knows when, but someone managed to open my bag and flick my purse. I was horrified to say the least! The thought of a thief stealthily picking my purse without my knowledge, was insulting! How, where, when, my mind tried to analyse, but found no answers.


It is in situations like these that we are most likely to jump to conclusions. Could it be that lady who sat close to me on the platform as we waited for the train? She did look suspicious! Maybe it was the strange looking fellow who almost pushed me as I boarded the train? Who stole my purse? With no answers coming forth,my mind would not be at peace!

Writing has always helped me channel my mind whenever I have been lost. And that is when the first piece came up, “The sighting”. I couldn't let myself be judgmental, because I didn't know for sure. No one could be guilty until so proved. I couldn't think ill about someone, I didn't know if he or she was indeed the culprit.

But that didn't end my misery. I still missed that old purse. With that was born the second story, “The search”.  And I tried to convince myself, that true happiness and love lies in the confines of our heart and not in materialistic things. So why get attached to something as worldly as a purse? That did make me feel a little better!

The way my mind flowed from one theory to another, from one story to another, sifting between possibilities, made me write the poem on the fickleness of the mind, "Flowing like a river"

And then came the last story, “Labour of love”. That was based on the thought that, what if there was a mistaken identity due to a purse being stolen? There were a few more stories being churned by my imagination, but suddenly it felt enough.  Like writing about it, and then turning a negative feeling into a positive one had me redeemed. I no longer missed the purse and decided there would be no more stories on it! The obsession ceased to exist!

I think we all have some way to get over bad news, bad feelings, or bad events. It is about convincing yourself that it is ok! And that it can happen to you too. No one can do that convincing job better than yourself.  For me, writing always helps. It is like a catharsis to my emotions and feelings.

How do you deal with it?


13 comments:

  1. Writing and more writing for me too. It helps get over things. Well I obsess over weird things..I dont post em cuz they shall seem plain weird.lol I just wrote a poem about my handbags yesterday and thats the first thought that came to my mind when I read this post :p maybe I shall publish it someday ;)

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    1. do post it!! actually writing has helped me every time.... when my little one was ready to go to school, i was more tensed than him!! writing soothed my nerves! be it a first crush gone sour, or getting over a bad experience, writing has always been therapeutic!

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  2. usually i'm not obsessed with things .. but loosing one definitely hurts.. for me its usually music that soothe my thoughts when i feel troubled .. along with writing !

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    1. it is not so much in losing something, it is about the fact that i have been careless and now i no more reserve the right to chide someone else about being careless...i know it sounds vain, but that's about it!! :) :)

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  3. For me its more about the ego than the loss. I'm not too sure if ego is the right word to use here. Nevertheless if I lose something it would hurt me more because I am a very careful person and take pride in being sorted. I haven't lost anything till date, touch wood and even if I did I'm not too sure I'd take it well.

    When I ended my first relationship of four years, I grieved over it for three whole years. No kidding. More so because I was not willing to accept that I made a wrong decision then. I mean how could I go wrong, I though. Foolish much, yes.

    That's when I started writing. It helped me let go of things in more ways than one. Primarily my ego or whatever you call it. I'm glad. That's why I always fall back on my writing for either grieving or obsessing!

    I totally get you here, sistah! :)

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    1. call it ego,call it pride, its all the same....! u hit the nail bang on the head Soumya.... the heart refuses to believe that it could have been careless, and that's what the obsessing is all about!

      glad to know i have company!! cheers!

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  4. I dont get obsessed, like last year I lost my luggage while on way to australia and I lost everything fone,diary,camera, clothes etc etc .. It made me angry but then nothing i could do ..

    I do miss the fone and camera because they were a gift from someone, and that cant be replaced..

    I went and bought a new fone ..

    Bikram

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    1. absolutely.... nothing can be done, that's true!

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  5. It is a feeling of helplessness that I get when I lose something. I cannot retrieve it . There is no use crying after split milk..

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    1. we eventually get over it, but till that happens it continues to gnaw!

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  6. Yes, it is a mix of feelings - helplessness, little bit of anger, guilt as in where did I go wrong, frustration, missing, hurt pride, fear of strangers, etc etc...I have been in this situation of getting my purse picked and also having a robbery at home...it does take time, but there is no choice, we do have to try and move beyond that mix of feelings. Good that writing could help you work through those emotions.

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  7. Considering your purse was (most probably) stolen by a professional pickpocket, it probably wasn't any carelessness on your part. So why feel guilty?

    My wallet was picked in a railway station in Europe some years back. I did feel bad for a day, but definitely not guilty. Firstly, I was relieved that the person had attacked my wallet, not me! Secondly, I informed the bank that my credit card had been stolen.

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  8. It is the same with me too. I can't tolerate the feeling that I've lost something. I have lost many things, and every thing has left me with a void... "arey, main woh cheez kaise kho sakti hu" kind of a feeling....
    But I guess , as I grew older, I learnt to let it go and relax more !
    For me,writing about it helps, but there's a way I do it. I write it down on paper, in a conversational form, as if I'm talking about it to God :) Might sound crazy, but then that's how it is for me :)

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At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person..deep gratitude for those who have lighted the flame within me!! your comments will be appreciated..

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