Thursday, July 4, 2013

UBC day 4- Of mother's and kids.

My second child was born prematurely. My water broke at 32 weeks and by the time we rushed to the hospital; I had flooded the house and the car. And later the doctor’s examining table. Within half an hour my tummy looked flat! I cannot even begin to explain how sacred I was. I remember myself praying all along that the little one was safe. The doctor told us how the baby’s lungs wouldn't be properly developed at 32 weeks but there was nothing we could do but opt for the little one to be delivered.

that's him


The baby was delivered safely, but he developed bronco pneumonia soon after. I had just been able to have one look at the baby’s face; I had not even held him close, when they shifted him to the NICU. A day later I was allowed to walk to the NICU and see my little one. There he was….with his little feet connected to some machine and a drip set running out his tiny hand, an oxygen mask on his nose. The little chap was obviously irritated and kept shuffling. Every time he moved, the drip set would slide off and the nurse would search for a new place to prick on the tiny hand. It pained to see him go through all this. They finally bound his hands and legs with tape and secured it to his bed. That way he couldn't move at all.

I didn't have to stay in the hospital for long and after 10 days, I was asked to come to the NICU every 3 hours to feed the child. We had to wait for our turn outside the NICU and the nurses would let in mothers in batches of three or four. Every time I saw him through the glass wall of the NICU bed, he would become restless and wait for me to pick him up. It was daunting to pick him up, the drip and wires made it so difficult. I didn't want to accidentally disturb something and end up hurting the baby.

Every day, there would be new admissions and discharges, and we prayed that we could take our little one home soon. One day as we waited outside the NICU for my turn, the nurse brought out a little bundle and held it while the child’s parents signed some papers for discharge. I couldn't help but observe how milky white the child’s face looked. I thought maybe it had taken after its mother who looked quite fair too. And then as the mother took the child into her arms, she began to cry. It took me a while to realize that her child wasn't moving. And then the doctors came out, patting her shoulder, while her husband held her, trying not to cry. I couldn't even begin to fathom what grief the mother might being going through, holding her dead child in her arms.

I shook uncontrollable as my husband tried to steady me. The fear for my own child’s well being had suddenly multiplied manifold. When I was finally called in, and held my little one in my arms, I whispered a prayer in to his ears and told him how much I loved him. I held him close and the nurse had to snatch him away from me after I refused to hand back my child to her. I didn't want to leave him in the hospital any more. After what seemed like eternity, he was finally well enough to be sent home with us.


that's my rockstar!

By God’s grace he is doing well now. He is 3 years old now, but even after all these years I am unable to get the picture of the baby and its mother out of my mind. At the same time, I am happy God gave me enough strength to survive those stress filled moments of my life.



33 comments:

  1. What you felt that day is the ultimate nightmare of every Ma...I get so scared of such scenarios... God Bless your Family dear Princess...You captured your fears with your words.. I felt like iron bands wrapped around my heart...

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    1. Thanks for the kind words...a nightmare it is and no one should have to go through this..

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  2. He is a rockstar alright! :D
    That experience must have really traumatic for you. It is really hard to even watch such a scene. Going through it is even more unthinkable.

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    1. writing about it is kind of a release..I haven't been able to let go of the emotions of that day..but writing about it..made me lighter.

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  3. a moving post. almost brought tears to my eyes! god bless all the mothers who has to go through this kind of unbearable pain. And hugs n best wishes to your little champ! :)

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  4. Really my heart started racing as I was reading further through your post

    Glad to know that he is all fine and fit :).

    Stay Blessed ^_^

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  5. I had goosebumps when I read through this....I don't even want to imagine how u must have felt!!!

    Thank God that all is well :)

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    1. No one should ever go through this. God has been kind to me and I have enough to thank him for.

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  6. Thank God your baby is safe, but the same time, my heart goes out to the lady whose baby is no more. I wonder how she must have coped with the tragedy.

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  7. What a dreadful thing it must be to carry the stiff body of one's child in one's arms! I felt terrible on reading about the plight of the other woman.

    On a positive note, so good to see your little cutie transform into the rockstar he is. God bless your family.

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    1. Though we read reports in the papers about such happenings, to see it before ur very eyes is definitely terrifying. It shook me up severely...

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  8. What a dreadful experience to go thru.. :(
    Hugs!!
    Your little one is adorable! Touchwood! :)

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    1. thanks and hugs to u too... and yea..touchwood!

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  9. I feel sad for the other mother who was not so lucky. it gave me goosebumps.

    Your son is indeed a rockstar and so cute. Count your blessings. You are so happy with your bundle of joy.
    I pray no mother should lose her child. Amen.

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    1. i feel truly blessed that everything turned out well for us... it is incidents like these that make me realise that instead of cribbing for things that I don't have , I should be better off thanking God for things that I have.

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  10. ohhhhh thank god everything turned out to be fine ! God bless your little one who is now a rockstar. I remember something like that happened when I was born (also premature) and now I am of course a rockstar so we can safely say all premature babies are super cool and intelligent :D

    God bless you always :)

    Richa

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    1. :) that brought me a smile! people actually say that premature babies grow up to be rockstars.... so cheers to u and my liitle one!

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  11. How traumatic and terrifying to go through all that. Your little boy is truly a miracle baby. How absolutely awful to hold your dead baby in your arms. I can not even imagine. That God your baby was OK.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. absolutely... one of the worst things to happen to any one..

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  12. that must have been such a terrifying moment... I just thank God that it is over for you... :) :)

    he sure is a rockstar.. and why not..he has a rockstar mom <3

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    1. it was... i don't remember sleeping for days together.... and yes, thank god it's all over.

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  13. My parents lost my brother days after he was born, while my mom was still in hospital. And my Dad still finds it very difficult to go to hospitals. Losing a new born child is a trauma I pray no parents ever have to go through. Your rockstar is adorable, and a brave fighter. May the angels always watch over him. Hugs! :)

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    1. Oh..that's sad.... It's heart wrenching to see any mother go through this... my prayers are with her.

      And thanks for ur lovely wishes, he's a fighter no doubt.

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  14. Brought tears to my eyes. Thank god for the grace he showered.

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  15. :( .. speechless .. you brought the image .. that i will never forget my whole life .. i have seen baby like this in same way .. unfortunately she died .. that due to doctor ignorance :(

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    1. oh that's sad...paying a price for someone's ignorance is so unjust.

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  16. Oh My!! What a traumatic experience it must have been for you! So glad that the Li'l Rockstar is rocking your world with his smiles and laughter! Hugs :)

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    1. though he is a little short and thin for his age, im not complaining....i just thankful that i have him, and all the smiles he gives us...

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  17. OMG! That is really scary and haunting. But glad everything is okay now - he really does look like a Rockstar now. God Bless!

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At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person..deep gratitude for those who have lighted the flame within me!! your comments will be appreciated..

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