G for Gratuitous love

Gratuitous or unwanted, unrealizable love between two people can be devastating for both. And yet neither is our heart under our control nor are the strings attached to them.  And yet, we become mere puppets when such love begins to blossom, knowing it will eventually break our hearts.

This rarely told tale narrates a story of the love between two people who were never meant to be. It talks of circumstances that led to their meeting and the brief, yet intense time they spent together. They found love in each other’s moments of loneliness, but circumstances led to their separation.

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‘Let me go,’ pleaded Amba, as Bhishma’s chariot stopped at the gates of Hastinapur. Her sisters, Ambika and Ambalika had been escorted into the royal palace amidst much fanfare and the maids stood waiting for her to alight from the chariot. ‘I have given my heart to King Shalya,’ she cried, ‘I cannot accept Vichitraveerya as my husband.’

Bhishma looked at the beautiful Amba, and he could not bear to see her cry. He realized how wrong it would be to love one and marry another. ‘I will take you back to your beloved’, he said, as he gestured for the maids to go away, and turned his chariot towards the Madra kingdom.

As the horses raced through the forests, the wind blew Amba’s fragrant hair all across Bhishma’s face. As he inhaled the perfume, he was momentarily filled with a deep attraction towards this woman. Their eyes met briefly and she caught his gaze. Suddenly, realizing how wrong it was to feel that way for a woman committed to another, he stepped away so that he would not be tempted thus again.

Amba looked at Bhishma’s broad shoulders, attracted to the rich baritone of his voice, and considered how he had readily agreed to her wishes, and for a moment found herself thinking, If Bhishma had abducted me for himself rather than the revolting Vichitraveerya, maybe I would have gladly married him. 

Then, suddenly ashamed of these thoughts passing through her mind, she chided herself, How dare you think of another, when your beloved Shalya is waiting for you.’

Bhishma left her at Shalya’s kingdom and rode away, but Shalya refused to accept Amba and sent her away. Heartbroken, Amba called for an audience with Bhishma. She did not want to marry Vichitraveerya and Shalya would not marry her. It was really Bhishma that she wanted to marry.

‘Oh, Great king Bhishma, Shalya refused to marry me, and since you abducted me, I am now your responsibility’, she said, hoping Bhishma would agree to marry her. She remembered his longing gaze as her hair flew across his face. His feelings were not lost on her. 

Bhishma did not know what to say. King Vichitraveerya had passed away as soon as he was married. Amba could no longer be married off to his cousin. He looked at the beautiful maiden in front of him. There were tears in her almond shaped eyes and she looked longingly at him. He knew he had wronged her by abducting her thus, and now it would be his responsibility to be her protector. 

He looked into her eyes and this time allowed them to penetrate his soul. A part of him wanted to embrace her and wrap his strong arms around her. He knew that she was his destiny. But then he remembered his vow. 

In another life, he would have been King and he would gladly have made her his queen. In another life, they would have been happy together and raised many children, and watched their kingdom and children prosper. In another life…but not this one. And then he sadly looked away.

‘I am bound by a vow of celibacy I gave my mother Satyavati, I can never marry. I can never become king.’

As much as Amba tried to convince him, he would not budge.  The love that had flowered between them was gratuitous, something that was not meant to be. It was a love story of two unfortunate people, beautiful and god-like in their own way, and the romance that blossomed between them, never bloomed into its full flourish.

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Falling in love with someone you shouldn't, that isn't so uncommon. And, however brief the duration of the romance, it does sting your heart and leave a scar.

Linking back to the A to Z Challenge.

This day..last year....G for Giving

F for Faith

There can be no love without faith. It is said ‘feed your faith and all your doubts will starve to death, feed your doubts and see your faith wither away’.  Faith can be as delicate as glass or as strong as steel, depending on how you decide to treat it.

Here’s yet another tale from the Mahabharata that talks of faith, love and friendship, that will warm your heart just as it warmed mine.

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Karna had come to the royal palace to meet his friend, Duryodhana, the crown prince of Hastinapur. He asked the soldiers for an audience with his friend. Duryodhana was away and thus he was met by Duryodhana’s wife, Bhanumathi.

“Greetings, brother Karna! Your friend is away and will be back by evening,” said Bhanumathi, offering him a glass of flavored water.

“Oh, is it?  I would like to wait here till brother Duryodhana returns,” said Karna, “I have something very important to discuss with him.”

Bhanumathi thought for a moment and then asked, “Brother Karna, would you like to play a game of dice with me until my Swami comes home?”

“I would like that very much Bhabhisri”, said Karna. “What are you putting at stake?” he asked following her to her chamber.

After the stakes were decided, they settled for a game of dice. As the game progressed, Karna appeared to be winning.

“Ah! Bhabhisri,” said Karna rubbing the dice in his hands gleefully, “Get ready to lose, for I just need a twelve for a win.”

Bhanumathi was about to say something witty, when she saw her husband entering her chamber. Seeing him, she immediately got up to greet him. Karna, whose back was to the door, did not see Duryodhana coming and thought Bhanumathi was quitting the game to avoid the embarrassment of losing to him.

“Bhabhisri, you cannot escape thus,” he mocked, tugging at her drape that was studded with hundreds of white pearls. “You must complete the game.”

Tugged at by his powerful hands, the thread of the pearls snapped and the entire chain of pearls on her drape rolled out onto the floor.

Bhanumathi was stunned. Would her husband misunderstand her and Karna? Would it make him angry? Would she be blamed for no fault of hers?

Looking at Bhanumathi’s expressions, Karna, turned to see what had shocked her. He saw Duryodhana at the door and was suddenly distressed and embarrassed beyond words himself.

What would his friend think? He not only had the audacity to play dice with his friend’s wife in her chamber but he had also committed the unpardonable act of catching her drape.

He stood transfixed not knowing what to say. Duryodhana would surely not tolerate such immodesty. He would be punished and so would Bhanumathi. He stood silently with his head bowed waiting to be sentenced.

Duryodhana looked at the both of them and smiled. “Should I just collect these pearls or should I string them as well?” he asked tongue-in-cheek.

Karna and Bhanumathi were both relieved hearing Duryodhana’s words and also ashamed for having misjudged the mighty King. He not only had immense faith and great love for his queen Bhanumathi, but his faith in his friend Karna was even implicit.

A faith so strong, that Karna never had to think twice before standing in support of his friend and Bhanumathi never had to question her husband's motives. 

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 It takes great gumption to believe what you do not see, and to see what you believe, and that will become the basic foundation of faith.It is amazing how far a person can go when armed with someone’s love and unwavering faith.

Linking back to the A to Z challenge.

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This day....last year...F for Forgive

E for Enchantment

Have you ever been under a magical spell or charm or enchantment? An enchantment so strong, that it has held you captive. So captive, that you have been unable to let go. As letting go, would be akin to death.

Here’s a tale from the Mahabharata, when a great King was so enchanted with someone that it changed the course of his dynasty forever.

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King Shantanu had become very lonely. He had broken his vow and Ganga had left him leaving their son, Devvrat behind. Heartbroken, he had been grieving for a very long time. One day, he wanted to enter the forest across the banks of river Yamuna. He wanted to go hunting and waited for a boatman to ferry him across the river. A gentle mist shrouded the banks and he stood staring at the calm waters of the river Yamuna.

He remembered how Ganga had emerged from the Ganges many moons ago. She had looked so ethereal and divine as she walked towards him for the very first time. He had been so happy with her. Would she ever come back again? He wished she would. He closed his eyes lost in her thoughts, when an intoxicating perfume wafted towards him.

Ah! What an enchanting fragrance. Who could that be? Is it an apsara from heaven? I must find out, he thought, as he walked searching for the source of the fragrance.

Through the mist, he saw a boat and in the boat, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She gently rowed her boat towards him, and as she emerged out of the mist, he saw her eyes. She had huge eyes shaped like the bud of the lotus and the longer he looked at them, they seemed to be holding him captive. They glittered like stardust on an expansive blue sky. He looked at her luscious lips, slightly upturned at the corners, breaking into a smile, her most seductively expressive feature, that were unleashing a million desires within him with their slightest manipulations.

She gave him her hand and beckoned him to step into the boat. Her hands felt like silk against his hand and he suddenly found himself wishing he never had to let go of them. She laughed when he kept holding onto them like one mesmerized, and even her laughter sounded melodious to him.  When they were seated, she masterfully plunged the oars into the waters and he heard his own heart plunging into unknown depths of love.

“Who are you?” she asked him, breaking his trance, and the lilt in her voice fanning the embers of passion and rekindling the burning desires within him.

“I’m King Shantanu of Hastinapur. What is your name?”  

She lowered her head, realizing that it was the King himself seated in her ferry, “My name is Satyavati and I’m the daughter of a fisherman”.

“Look at me, O lotus-eyed maiden,” said Shantanu, lifting her face by her chin, “I have conquered vast lands beyond my kingdom, and have travelled far and wide, but never before has any woman left me so utterly enchanted. I find myself lost in your charms. Marry me and become my queen.”

Satyavati’s face glowed like the full moon as she replied coyly, “You must meet my father and ask him for my hand in marriage.”

Shantanu was overjoyed. He would no longer be lonely.

This meeting would signal the beginning of an enchantment so great, that it would lead not only to love and subsequent marriage of Shantanu and Satyavati, but also to the end of the Kuru dynasty and the start of the Satyavati dynasty. It would also lead the unwitting protagonists to be the starting point of the biggest war that was ever fought on earth.

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Has anything left you so enchanted that you have pined for it every moment?

Linking back to the A to Z challenge.


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This day....last year...E for Empower

D for Dalliance

What leads people to a dalliance? Is it lust, is it unfulfilled desires, or a combination of both?

This is a tale of lost love, lust, and unfulfilled desires, all of which led an unsuspecting woman to dally and finally led to her destruction.

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 Ahalya, the daughter of Lord Brahma, was indeed one of the Lord’s most beautiful creations. While gods, demigods, and men alike vied for her attention, Lord Indra, the king of the gods, was secretly in love with her and nurtured the dream to marry her one day. Ahalya was in love with Indra as well and hoped that he would win the challenge at her Swayamvar and take her hand in marriage. But it was Rishi Gautam, much elder to Ahalya and devoid of desires for worldly pleasures,  who fulfilled the challenge of crossing the three worlds in the shortest time, and thus was married to the beautiful Ahalya. Indra was devastated and he craved to be united with his beloved.

One early morning, Rishi Gautam had gone to the river Ganges to take his bath. Sensing an opportunity, Indra mounted his royal white elephant, Airavata, and descended down to earth. He quickly took on the guise of Rishi Gautam and knocked at Ahalya’s door.

“Swami, did you not just go to the Ganges to take your bath? Why are you back so soon? Did something happen?” asked the beautiful Ahalya.

“As I walked to the Ganges, my mind was full of your thoughts, my beloved,” said Indra disguised Rishi Gautam, “The fragrance of your hair, the fullness of your lips, and the depth of your kohl-lined eyes, have brought me back to you, my love.”

Ahalya was surprised to see her husband talking thus. The usually reticent sage was bestowing her with praise and extolling her beauty and she was overjoyed. She blushed, her cheeks flushed pink, and she lowered her eyes, lest her husband read the longing in her eyes.

“I cannot wait another moment for our bodies to join together in conjugal bliss,” he teased her, lifting her face to enjoy the coyness in her eyes.

Ahalya was taken aback. She remembered her husband refusing her the night before saying she was not in her fertile period. What could have made him change his mind? And why was he speaking to her so seductively? He had never done so before. But she had been longing for the sage’s attention and affection for so long, that she decided to put her doubts to rest and enjoy the moment instead.

As Indra embraced her, tenderly kissed her and ignited the flame of desire in her, she suddenly smelt Indra’s celestial fragrance and recognized the impersonator. But by then, she was so engulfed in the throes of passion that she chose to ignore the deception and continued to enjoy the dalliance.

A dalliance that would later leave them both cursed; she cursed into turning into a stone for many years, till Lord Rama blessed and set her free and Indra cursed with a human birth with a thousand eyes on his body, being born as Sahasraksha.

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Could Ahalya be faulted for dallying? As a woman, is she not entitled to fulfill her own desires? Must she repress her feelings because she is a woman? Or did she indeed commit adultery? What do you think?

Linking back to the A to Z challenge. 

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This day...Last year...D for Dream

C for Crush

No one can delve into the depths of another’s mind. Everyone has secrets, and revealing our secrets is not something that comes easy to us. Secretly harboring love for someone or having a crush on someone is not uncommon. And most of the times, it is neither possible nor appropriate to even reveal this secret to the object of our desire, much less to anyone else, for the fear of toppling the apple cart, as they say.

Here’s another tale of crush, of undercurrents and under thoughts in the lives of two unlikely protagonists.            

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Draupadi was strolling in the garden when she saw a ripe jambul fruit hanging low on the branch of the tree.  The juicy purple fruit was tempting and as soon as she plucked it and was about to put it into her mouth, the tree spoke, “Draupadi, what have you done? This was no ordinary fruit. A great Rishi has been meditating nearby for the past twelve years and he was supposed to have eaten this fruit and satiated his hunger later today. But by plucking this fruit, you have deprived him of his food and he will have to go hungry.”

Draupadi was grief stricken. What could she do now? Letting a Rishi go hungry was a sin and she did not want to be earn demerit on account of it.

“Tell me a way out of it, o great tree,” she begged it.

“Well, you can attach it back if you have been chaste all your life,” said the tree.

Draupadi was sure she had been utterly faithful to her five husbands and tries to fix the fruit back on the tree. But it keeps falling off and she is taken aback.

“Think Draupadi. Have you ever been in love with anyone other than your five husbands?” A confession will absolve you of your demerit.”

“Yes,” confessed Draupadi, her cheeks turning the darkest shade of crimson, “I have secretly harbored a crush on Karna.”

She remembered falling in love with the portrait of Karna as she sorted through the prospective grooms on the day of her Swayamvar. She had been impressed with his skills as a great archer and it was him that she secretly harbored a wish to wed.

“Karna does not befit you my sister”, her brother Drishtyudyumna had told her, “he belongs to a lowly caste.”

“Your brother is right, Sakhi,” her eternal friend and companion, Lord Krishna had emphasized, “I hope Arjuna will win the contest and your heart today. There is no greater Archer than him.”

And together they ensured that Draupadi was wed to Arjuna the great Archer and Karna was thoroughly humiliated.

She remembered the number of times she had encountered Karna, and each time she had vowed to forget him and push her regrets about not marrying him aside. She knew it was an unfaithful thought to nurture but had not been able to rinse herself of his thoughts.

The tree smiled. “Attach the fruit back on me Draupadi. Now that you have confessed, you will forget about your feelings for Karna. Your mind is cleansed.”

Having confessed about her crush, Draupadi was able to attach the fruit back on the tree.

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The human mind is rational, but the heart is devoid of logic. It flutters freely in search of love and settles where it wants to find it. And when it finds a companion, it secretly harbors a crush in the hope that this crush will someday turn into love and happiness. 

Do you remember your first crush?

 Linking back to the A to Z challenge.

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This day...Last year...C for Courage