Monday, June 8, 2015

In brief...


No, no...This post is not about people wearing short clothes. I have nothing to say about the clothing preferences of people, however brief they might be. Who am I to judge anyone but myself? There are already enough people shooting their mouths off and giving the world their well researched 'gyan' on what people should wear and what they should not wear, and what catastrophe will befall the world should their prophetic words be unheeded!  I’m not that learned and hence you get to be spared of my sermon. 
(Breathing a sigh of relief, are you? Not so soon, people… *lets out an evil laugh… Buhahahaha…)

Well, coming back to the post, this is also not about those briefs that managers give their subordinates and expect them to dish out an extraordinary performance merely on the motivation obtained from those brief words! I have been subjected to many such briefings in the span of my corporate life. In between a gloating, self pompous, all-knowing manager (obviously, with a puffed chest, soaking in the thought of himself being the best, the most inspirational and motivational speaker since Zig Ziglar) at one end and a sleepy employee (trying his best to put up a moronic smile and nod on his face) at another, is a brief, which by the way, is anything but brief, telling you what a cakewalk it would be to achieve your monthly budgets should you follow their briefings to the ‘T’. How foolish of  you to think your effort had any part in achieving those demonic numbers!

But anyways, this post is not about that too. I guess, the beginning should have kind of set you up for what is to follow.

The point that I'm referring to is a kind of disability that people like me face on account of their inability to talk in brief. I guess the term nineteen to a dozen was coined just for me! I cannot even 'think' in brief. How in the world am I supposed to talk or write in brief? I was a child wonder if you can call me that. Some kids become dancing masters at a very young age, some become cricketers or turn out to be exceptionally high IQ kids. I turned out to have the gift of the gab. I was one of those kids who got full marks in essays- something that was totally unheard of. But I ensured that I compensated for the high score by scoring a zero in prĂ©cis writing! 

I belong to that tribe who painstakingly types out every letter of every word checking for grammar even as I type out a message on Whatsapp or Messenger. I am not a grammar Nazi but it disturbs me greatly when people type something like, ‘wud u lyk 2 jn m 4 lnch tmrw.’ What? Is it a fad to swallow your vowels? So hungry, eh? A conversation with a younger cousin had me thinking if I was indeed growing old, or was I plain stupid!

What are you doing? I typed.
Cousin: ‘ATM LMBO
Me: What?
Cousin: At the moment, laughing my butt off
Me: Why?  
He forwarded me some joke I couldn’t really comprehend.
Me: What’s so funny?
Cousin: NM
Me: Huh?
Cousin: Never mind. (And then…) BRB
Me: What?
Cousin: Be right back…
Me: Sure
Cousin: K
I didn’t want to ask him what K meant, but he replied back instantly,
Cousin: Okay :-P

By the way, the ‘K’ is a part of almost all conversations. Any question can have ‘K’ as the answer or reply. It is like that ubiquitous aaloo (potato) that can find its way into almost any cuisine. Conversations like these make me imagine a mason building a house, who lays every fourth brick and leaves the gaps in between unfilled. So much for conversations!

The only abbreviations I remember using is “etc” and yea, maybe, 'ok'. And then I learnt LOL and ROFL. But the list just seems to be growing longer each day and I’m not sure I can keep up with it any longer! 


Thankfully I knew what it meant!


By the way, if you haven't seen it yet, the "about me" page on this blog also looks like a complete blog post!! Someone puhleeese teach me the art of brevity!! My husband often jokes that my Facebook status updates look like a complete blog post by themselves! Well, maybe that explains why I couldn’t embrace Twitter thus far. 140 characters? Really? Not even 140 words…just characters! What am I supposed to say in so few alphabets? 

It is like telling a person to just put the key in the ignition, start your car but not drive it! Or just ordering the appetizers and forgetting about the rest of the meal. It is this insatiable appetite that makes me hungry for more and forget all about brevity. 

By the way, I hope you are still listening!!

35 comments:

  1. I love this, Little Princess! :) It made me laugh right through, especially the chat with your young cousin! :) I just shared a post on Grammar Trolls, and the next moment, I got to read this! As you put it, Buhahahaha...

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    1. Thanks Deepthi! I'm so glad it made you smile! And thanks for sharing !!

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  2. Full marks in essay writing #Jealous! The highest I scored was maybe 8/10. But then, I too am not that good at precis-writing! We had summary writing in SSC.. And still have it in HSC!

    This post surely made me LMBO! when I was a total newbie to Whatsapp and other messaging apps, I used to type paragraphs and send them to my friends. Even now, the only relief I've given myself is using certain short forms.
    For examples- 'srsly' 'wbu - What about you?'
    I even type the 'the' , 'you' and 'and' completely!

    And I totally liked the way you started the blog post, just to prove the point you were going to make in the paragraphs ahead! :D

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    1. You do? I do it all the time...The, you, and..yep...all in full forms! and I also proofread and correct before I hit send!

      Ah! You noticed that? I'm so glad you understood why those paras were there!

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  3. You hit the nail on the head here ;) I can NEVER follow whatsapp slang or SMS-isms. Wrote a post bemoaning it last year :D BUT I can write microfiction and stories in under 140 words. Grammatically correct ones though. ;) For the record, I have never used LOL in my life. Not sure if that deserves an award of some sort.

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    1. Really? Then that definitely qualifies for an award!!

      saw your micro fiction and hats off to you for pulling it off and being crowned for it too! That's an art Shailaja..writing in brief...and you are blessed! wonder if I can ever write it!

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  4. Oh I'm so bad at understanding short forms, a few yes but then I find it extremely difficult to comprehend what the other person is saying at most times... Plus, I like conversations where you write the whole word..But then maybe I'm just a old soul in a young person's body. :D

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    1. Yea...me too! my eyes keep wandering around those spellings that could have been but were not allowed to be!

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  5. You have written this post with me in mind, right? :) I tell you I am so bad with all these acronyms, and I hate, yes hate using LOL, ROFL etc....I can't even type that <3 What does it mean, really?!!! And as for being brevity-challenged you have read my blog, so you know about that already! Good to be in your company, Titli :)

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    1. Tell me about it!! We are both in the same boat sistah!!

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  6. Slangs and SMS lingo are not my cup of tea, either. Hate it big time and K gets on my nerves. Since the time I have explored 55 Fiction and Drabble, I think micro-fiction is what I can write. Writing a long story would be an herculean task for me :D

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    1. and I admire you for those effortless microfictions..55ers and drabbles! I have written very few of those and haiku is something I haven't even dreamt of attempting!!

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  7. Hahaha! You struck the blow for our ilk :) Me - I cannot even reply to a FB comments without making it look like a blog post. :) The reason why I never tweeted or Whatsapped :)

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  8. Hahaha loved this one...very aptly written. The conversational pic art totally had me splits I too had my share of troubles in decoding short texts :)

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    1. Seriously! I wonder who first came up with all those short forms!

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  9. I do not know, what to comment. Short clothes, kept me hooked ...but then...all of a sudden.. the moronic smile of the reportee .. made me ROFL... Agreed, you sleep English taaalk english.. u walk engleesh.. and that too full-fledged, not in short terms.

    Loved this post. I am unable to laugh louder, as it is 11 : 50 PM and all of them are asleep here. "Your great aunt is dead. LOL ". Can anyone beat that?? ROFL.

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    1. Hahahhaa....I don't know what to reply! You have me floored with that dialogue from AB! Put that on my epitaph!Thanks! 

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  10. I can so relate to what you are saying, girl! Like you, I have a hard time thinking in brief, forget speaking or writing. So when AtoZ came around, for every hour I spent writing the posts, I spent 2 hours editing and truncating. :P

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    1. tell me about it!! ditto here! half my time is spent chopping off bits here and pieces there!!

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  11. Although I like the post, I beg to differ. shortcuts are created to save time and to do multitasking. I do you understand that elder people have problem comprehending shortcuts but it's way much easier than typing lengthy texts. Just imagine the artist paints a beautiful picture worth a thousand words...but doesn't write any.. Poor me..!!: (

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    1. Haan bhenji...was expecting nothing less than this from you! :) :)

      and wait...did you just classify me as an elderly person? grrr....

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  12. Ha ha! A fun read and yes, I am sailing in the same boat. I do use lol, brb, ttyl, afaik but still the lmao and lmbo are too much for me to handle. The eating up of vowels gets super irritating. Though I do love twitter, brevity is not my cup of tea too. Flash fiction sounds so tough!

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    1. wait...what in the name of god is ttly and afaik? I'm seriously beginning to doubt which century I belong to!

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  13. I actually loved this post, having faced similar situations umpteen times. Well done! A thoroughly enjoyable write-up that was thankfully not brief :)

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    1. Welcome to my space...I'm glad you enjoyed reading this Ayan!

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  14. Ohhhhhhh! I so relate with this! Brief and me don't go well either! That is why I avoided Twitter too for so many years. Even now, I'm there for the bare minimum. And I admire anyone who can write a complete story in 55 words! My Dad is better at this SMS lingo than me... would you believe it? He is over 65! I gave up on it long ago, just like you!

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    1. I'm on twitter for the bare minimum too! I have tried few 55ers and i didn't think i did a good job at all!
      hats off to your dad for beating us at our own game!

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  15. Oh. I have a tendency to write really long too. Not always, but mostly, though I know what the short forms are (most of them, I think, but new ones seem to appear every day). Never got full marks in essays though. My teacher found some place to cut one or two marks at the very least. Shortening OK to K was a travesty though.

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    1. Oh yea..I know..we are in the same boat with so many others like us!!

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  16. I am opposite of you, I struggle to write more long posts, I can't even write a descriptive travel post. Gimme some tips please. Thankfully my friend circle belongs to the good old english speaking era without much abbreviations. :)

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    1. You are lucky you can do that Rajlakshmi! writing in brief is an art I would like to master!

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  17. Hahaha..yes, short forms, acronyms, they all stump me. I cannot decipher most of them. I used to write long posts, but of late I've been writing very short, flash fictions, so yes, probably I do understand brevity, after all :-)

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At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person..deep gratitude for those who have lighted the flame within me!! your comments will be appreciated..

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