The last two months have been enormously exhilarating and at the same time exhausting. They have brought in a lot of emotions and excitement. I could not imagine experiencing two contrasting feelings at the same time. But the mixed bag of sentiments just washed over me like a wave, drowning me in its entirety.
Goodbyes are tough. It was tougher for me.
I left Nagpur more than 15 years ago. A new job, a marriage and all that comes with it, took me away from the only place I have ever called home. But with my parents staying at Nagpur, I could go back anytime I wanted. It was my parental home, a home I had grown up in, a home that was full of memories...Going back had always filled me with happiness. There was a palpable excitement every time I saw that familiar yellow board at the railway station that said "Nagpur Jn". It always read 'Welcome Back' to me. And then trying to locate Dad in the ocean of humanity, and feeling the rush of warmth as soon he was spotted, had the ability to turn me to a child! The thrill of jumping into his arms, oblivious to the people around, receiving that warm hug from Mom and then riding back home looking at all the familiar landmarks, marveling at how much had changed in between, was incomparable! The home itself was a storehouse of memories! Every room, every wall, and even every piece of furniture had some memory attached to it.
With my parents getting older, I wanted them to be closer to me, so after a lot of cajoling (read that as 10 years of convincing) they finally agreed to move to Bangalore. If it was tough for me, it was tougher for them, leaving behind a home, and leaving behind people with whom you have lived for 50 years is never easy. As we relived our moments, went through flashbacks, met old friends, had farewell lunches and dinners, we were on an emotional roller coaster. But nothing compares to my thoughts that night after all the baggage had been packed and dispatched and we slept in an empty house for one last night. The thought of bidding goodbye to that home forever, where I have spent the best part of my childhood was devastating. The thought of never being able to come back to that home again was depressing. It was like leaving behind a part of you, a slice of yourself and relegating it to history.
What is it about goodbyes that make them so tough? Maybe it is the thought of separation and the uncertainty of reunion that makes it a misty eyed affair. Maybe it hurts, because we all hate to let go. Maybe that's what makes them so incredibly hard.
Someone gave us a card that said, "Don't be sad that you have to say Goodbye. Be happy because you will have happy memories that you will cherish forever." So true. Because that is all we left Nagpur with. A truckload of lovely memories.
Goodbye Nagpur....and thanks for the abundant memories...the loads of love...the warmth of our home...the affection of the people...and everything in between!!! You will be my home always...wherever I might stay!!
As much as the goodbye was painful, the excitement of having my parents closer is undeniably amazing! I spent the better part of the last week, sauntering in and out of my parents' home here, attracting hubby's jealous jibes, much to my amusement. My kids can't have enough of their grandparents and neither can my parents have enough of the grand kids! From having to be content with enjoying mom's mouth watering delicacies just once a year, I can now just walk in and be treated to all the wonderful food she cooks anytime I wish to. Not to mention the relief of the immense moral support we will be to each other.
So here's raising a toast to the lovely old endings and the hope-filled new beginnings!! May the new bring as much joy, as much happiness, be as filled with amazing memories, and be as satisfying as the old!!
Cheers!
I can totally relate to your post as I too moved away from the only place I called home to pursue higher studies and job. I would like to share a post with you.. Points To Ponder And I wish you and your family great times ahead!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Natasha!
DeleteCheers !!! You know why I say this ;) ;) ;)
ReplyDeleteyep...i do! :)
DeleteNice to see you here after a long interval. Old memories though painful, are sometimes very sweet.
ReplyDeleteyea mam...was busy with all the packing and unpacking! and yea those are my sweetest memories ever!
DeleteTHAT feeling of NEVER being to revisit a place you called home is like dying a little death, isn't it? But then the new beginning seems so...err...scrumptious :)
ReplyDeleteyou said it...it is actually like i've lost a little part of me....the beginning yeah...:) but u know food is just one part of it....it is the love and the being for each other part that I missed...and now I wonder how I lived without them for the past 15 years!
DeleteI can totally relate to that !! I had been through the same feelings when i had to take my parents from Kerala to bangalore.
ReplyDeleteI still remember her sad face, as if she was this bride who was going to her in laws place for the first time.
I always loved to see the yellow Board "Ernakulam Junction". I am still strongly bonded with kerala. Could relate to each and every word you had written. Need not mention that you have written it well. U always do.
Thanks to you, to have guided me to the blogging world.
Thank U Aj...and I'm happy ur writing...becoz ur doing a swell job of it...keep writing and keep rocking!
DeleteI can relate so much with this post! Leaving behind some memories and the excitement of forming new ones is indeed happy-sad-happy moment! Cheers to lovely old endings and hope and happiness filled new beginnings! ♥
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post on so many levels, emotional, practical, as a daughter....I think you and your parents did the right thing by moving closer to you at this point when they are still young enough to adjust to a new town, new surroundings. And of course the joy of being so near the grandchildren will help them adjust much sooner. It is hard indeed to leave the old but I am sure all the wonderful new memories that you all will make now should help ease the pain of goodbyes. Wishing you and your parents the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lovely words Beloo! Surprisingly my parents are taking this all so well...i guess age and experience teaches you more about life than anything else...
DeleteAs hard as goodbyes are....they are necessary for one to move on towards better pastures. No?
ReplyDeleteI am happy that you are closer to your home nw :D
Thanks Red! Thats so true! Im happy no doubt, its just the pain of leaving behind your childhood home...but again i guess, time heals all that!
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