J for Jealousy

Sharing your loved one with another is impossible. And when you know that the object of your affection has been nursing emotions for another, jealousy and anger are inevitable. Jealousy is born out of love and the feeling that your loved one prefers someone else over you.

This tale from the Mahabharata talks about the protagonist and what led to her feeling jealous and bitter.

                                                                     *************

Draupadi sat before the huge mirror in her chamber and let her maids dress her up. Komala had dried her hair and was holding a clay bowl of the most fragrant sambrani  (resin of benzoin)  to perfume her hair. Anagha was putting on the ornaments, and as Draupadi saw her reflection in the mirror, she blushed. She looked like a bride; the girls had done a good job indeed. Parth would be so pleased to see her. Swara draped the beautiful red saree around her slender waist and pleated the end so that it fell neatly around Draupadi’s right arm.

Draupadi raised an eyebrow, and her eyes spoke, questioning Swara about her appearance.

“You look very beautiful Maharani. Rajkumar Arjuna will not be able to take his eyes off you today,” she teased.

Draupadi smiled, her cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment.

She had waited for this day for the past 12 years. She had married Parth, but by a quirky twist of fate, had been married to his brothers too. To prevent any bitterness amongst them, it was suggested that Draupadi would stay a year with each of her husbands. Unfortunately, Arjuna had interrupted Draupadi and Yudistir during their time together and had been sent into exile for 12 years. He was coming back today, and her heart was full of excitement. The husband she had loved the most would finally be united with her.

Her body shook in anticipation of their union and she bit her lips to control her overflowing emotions. The sound of the horses’ hooves could be heard as they galloped towards the palace and as they drew nearer, and the sounds became louder, she could hear her own heart beating wildly. The chariots screeched to a halt and the drummers who had been beating a soft tune, increased their pace, reaching a crescendo, before slowing down again to a rhythmic beat.

Parth must have gotten down from his chariot she surmised.

Just then, Chaitali, another maid, entered her chamber, her face devoid of any emotion.

Draupadi could immediately sense something was amiss.

“What’s the matter, Chaitali? Did Parth not come?” She was suddenly worried.

“No, Maharani, he has come.”

“Why the sad face, then?”

“He has brought his new bride with him.”

“What?”

New bride? Who was she? Why had he brought her here? She had agreed to her husbands marrying other women, but did they not promise her, that she would be the only wife who would live with them in their palace? Why then, had Parth brought his bride home? Did he not know that she would be waiting for him?

She dropped to her seat, tears beginning to form at the cusp of her eyes. Did it mean that Parth loved this new girl more than he loved her? It must be so, or why else would he break the promise given to her?

She turned to Chaitali, “Is this new bride more beautiful than me?”

“No, Maharani…” Chaitali hesitated, “But she is younger to you.”

“Oh…”

“Is she fair?”

“She is…”

“Hmm…”

Draupadi looked at her reflection in the mirror. She had been named Krishnaa because of her golden skin. But did she not look resplendent in it.

“Is she dressed more beautifully than me?” Jealousy had begun to creep into her heart. She could not bear the thought of relinquishing her place to another.

“No Maharani, she is dressed quite plainly. Not a piece of jewelry on her.”

“Oh…” Whom had Parth married? Why wasn’t she dressed as befitting a queen?

As she sat immersed in her thoughts, Ranjini, came rushing in.

“Maharani Draupadi, the new bride has arrived, everyone is awaiting your presence to welcome her,” she announced.

“Hmmm…” Draupadi waved her off with a flick of her wrist and the maid made an exit with her head bowed.

How could Parth do this to me? she thought. I loved him more than I loved any of my other husbands, and this is how he decides to reward me? Who is this girl who has snatched my Parth away from me? I will never forgive her.

Jealousy was slowly giving rise to anger and in a fit of rage she removed the kamarbandh from around her waist and threw it away, breathing heavily, eyes moist with tears.

Mother Kunti, came to call her and sensed Draupadi’s restlessness.

“Putri, come and welcome your sister,” she said simply, not wanting to rouse ruffled feathers at this time.

“Yea Maate….” bowed Draupadi politely.

With a heavy heart, she dragged her feet outside to welcome the woman who would take her place in her beloved Parth’s heart. Or maybe that place was already taken.

As she reached the door, she saw Parth, smiling at her. She did not smile back. She then looked at the bride.

“Putri, this is your sister, Subhadra,” said Kunti.

She was beautiful and young and very fair. No wonder Parth was so taken by her. But like her maid had informed, the girl was dressed very plainly. Seeing Draupadi, the girl walked up to her and touched her feet.

“Didi….” she said, “Give me your blessings and a little place in your home and heart,” she said innocently. “You shall always remain my elder sister and it will be my duty to do as you say. Consider me to be one of your many maids.”

Draupadi’s jealousy suddenly turned to love. What a sweet little thing she was. How wrong she had been about her.

Draupadi blessed her and picked her up. “No, my dear sister, you will enjoy the same place in Parth’s life that I do.” They both smiled and hugged each other.

Arjuna and Lord Krishna looked at each other and sighed with relief.

                                                               ********************

This day...last Year...J for Being Judgemental

I for Immarcescible

What do you call the love that is unfading, imperishable…the love that never dies…and stands tall even in the face of adversity…? Being in love is never easy, and when your mind is filled with questions and doubts about the one you love, keeping the trust intact is even more difficult. But some love transcends all situations and emerges victorious, and that is the immarcescible love this tale is all about.

                                                                  *******************

Bhanumathi had been restless all evening. She had not slept a wink yesterday; her mind had been as turbulent as the ocean on a full moon night. Duryodhana had not visited her the night before, not that she had expected him to. She did not doubt her husband or his motives for one moment, but she needed answers. Answers, that would relieve of her discomfiture and assure her of his love.

There were sounds of footsteps and the maids hurriedly announced the arrival of Duryodhana before they left the couple alone. Bhanumati got up to greet her husband, and he immediately noticed that she was not her usual self. 

“Bhanu, my love, you don’t look well today. What is troubling you?”

“Swami…,”she hesitated. What would she say? Wouldn’t her husband think she didn’t trust him enough? She lowered her gaze and turned away from him lest he see her lips quiver.

“Bhanu,” he said turning her face towards him, “Ask.”

“Swami, why did you order her to sit on your thigh? Why did you order her to be disrobed? Did you lust for Draupadi?” She stared at her feet, unable to look at him in the eye. She expected him to thunder in anger like he had done the evening before. Her body shook with trepidation and tears began rolling down her eyes.

“Bhanu, my sweet, innocent wife,” he said stroking her delicate cheeks and wiping away her tears, “I am a Kuru Prince. We have colossal egos, the size of mountains and inherent arrogance rooted deep inside us. Our egos and arrogance supersede everything.  When someone angers and insults us, they incite the demon inside us, which is what she did when she mocked me thus, “A blind man’s son will be blind forever.” I became an incensed, egoistic man, I was the devil incarnate, and devils do not have a sense of right or wrong.” And then he looked at her lovingly, pulling her closer to him and embracing her in his warmth. "I never did lust for her. I just wanted to teach her a lesson."

The love they shared was beyond these questions. In a way, he was happy she had chosen to ask. If she had chosen to be quiet, she would have nurtured doubts in her mind and the love between them would be gone.

Bhanumati looked into his eyes for the first time since last evening. She saw a sincere lover, a loyal, trusting husband, who had valued her much more than any man had ever valued his wife, she saw a faithful friend, who did not think twice before breaking hackneyed traditions, she saw a doting father, who loved his children to bits. People might see him as a roaring, scheming arrogant villain, but to her he was the person she loved the most in this world.

As they sat in silence, Duryodhana held her hands and looked at her celestially beautiful eyes. Even though she seemed satisfied with his answer, she still looked like she had something more to ask. He waited for her to break the silence.

“Swami…would you have put me at stake?” she asked him, earnestly.

“You are my wife, the one who shares my life, and you could never become an article to be possessed. You are a symbol of my honor, my strength, the mother of my children…you are the reason I stand with my head held high. You complete me, my love, and you are too precious to be dishonored thus. I would never have put you at stake like that, not even if Dharma deemed it right.”

She looked at him with pride in her eyes.

“Bheem promised to kill us for dishonoring Draupadi, but had someone spoken thus about you, I would have torn him to pieces and fed them to the lions, right there,” he said holding her in his protective embrace.

As she lay contentedly in his arms, her heart was full of love for this man who respected and loved her so much. The turbulence in her mind had ceased. Her mind was now calm. The world might hate him for what he had done in a fit of devilish rage, but to her, he was a symbol of immarcescible love.

                                                                    ***************

This tale is not to glorify Duryodhana. It is to talk about the love and respect he had for his wife, irrespective of what he was to the world. She trusted him too and when doubts threatened to destroy her peace, she chose to speak to him rather than keep her thoughts to herself. Communication is such an essential part of a relationship, and when people communicate it keeps their love imperishable.

This day....last year...I for Innocence

H for Heartbreak

Heartbreak...Anyone who has been in love has most probably gone through a heartbreak. It is never easy to get over the love of your life, isn't it? 

Here's another tale, that took place a little time before the Mahabharata, a story of love, and heartbreak. 

                                                                  ******************

Shakuntala was heartbroken.  How could Dushyant not recognize her? Had he forgotten all the vows that he had made unto her? Had he forgotten how he had met her? Had he no memory of the love that they had shared…of the words he had spoken…of the promises he had made…?

She remembered meeting him by her hermit during one of his hunting trips. Who could have thought that the king of the Puru dynasty would lose his heart to a hermit-girl? So smitten was he, that he insisted that they marry. Mother Nature would be their witness, he had said. And thus in the presence of the majestic Sun, the blue skies, the calm waters of the Malini river, the trees dotting the Shivalik hills, the abundance of blooming, fragrant flowers, the chirping birds, and animals, Shankuntala married Dushyant in a Gandharva marriage, with Mother Nature herself blessing their union.

She remembered his touch…it had been so magical and gentle. She had melted into his arms as he caressed and kissed her. He had sung her poems of love and whispered sweet nothings into her ears. Why then would he choose to forget her? Did he not tell her how much she meant to him? Did he not promise to send for her and marry her in the presence of his entire kingdom? Why hadn’t he come back?

She remembered waiting for him to come back. He had dragged her into an emotional whirlpool, lavishing attention on her briefly and then retreating into his shell. Was he the same Dushyant who had spoken so intimately to her at one time and now had lapsed into a silence?

Maybe it was not his fault after all. Wasn’t she the one who had angered Guru Durvasa and had been cursed? But she had been so lost in the thoughts of her beloved that she had failed to hear the sage call out to her and he had cursed her, “He, in whose thoughts, you have been so engrossed that you have failed to heed my call, will forget you forever”. And she was now paying for that curse.

She remembered the blank look on Dushyant’s face as she pleaded with him to accept her. She must have looked like a fool trying to remind him of their time together while he looked at her like he was seeing her for the very first time.

No, it couldn’t be Dushyant’s fault. Hadn’t he given her the signet ring as a token of their marriage? She was the one who lost it. When she had pleaded with the Guru, Sage Durvasa had taken mercy on her and told her that Dushyant would remember her on seeing the souvenir he had had given her. But she had lost that as she bathed in the river that morning.

Heartbroken and feeling helpless, tears streamed down Shakuntala’s face as reality dawned on her. Dushyant was perhaps lost to her forever. “Vanquish me from the face of the earth, Lord, for what use is a life sans my beloved,” she prayed. And then, caressing her belly, she wept aloud, "Oh, my sweet child, you will never know your father. Forgive me, my little one." 

A  few years passed before the Gods finally heard her.

“Is this the ring with the royal insignia you were talking about, Devi?” It was a fisherman with his prized catch.  From the belly of his fish, he had recovered her valuable ring.

She looked at the fisherman, then at the ring and then at her son. A prayer of thanksgiving escaped her lips. She would be reunited with the love of life, after all!

                                                              *******************

All's well that end well, Huh? 

Trivia: The son of Shakuntala and Dushyant is King Bharata, after whom our country has been named. 

This day....last year....H for Happiness

G for Gratuitous love

Gratuitous or unwanted, unrealizable love between two people can be devastating for both. And yet neither is our heart under our control nor are the strings attached to them.  And yet, we become mere puppets when such love begins to blossom, knowing it will eventually break our hearts.

This rarely told tale narrates a story of the love between two people who were never meant to be. It talks of circumstances that led to their meeting and the brief, yet intense time they spent together. They found love in each other’s moments of loneliness, but circumstances led to their separation.

                                                                ***********

‘Let me go,’ pleaded Amba, as Bhishma’s chariot stopped at the gates of Hastinapur. Her sisters, Ambika and Ambalika had been escorted into the royal palace amidst much fanfare and the maids stood waiting for her to alight from the chariot. ‘I have given my heart to King Shalya,’ she cried, ‘I cannot accept Vichitraveerya as my husband.’

Bhishma looked at the beautiful Amba, and he could not bear to see her cry. He realized how wrong it would be to love one and marry another. ‘I will take you back to your beloved’, he said, as he gestured for the maids to go away, and turned his chariot towards the Madra kingdom.

As the horses raced through the forests, the wind blew Amba’s fragrant hair all across Bhishma’s face. As he inhaled the perfume, he was momentarily filled with a deep attraction towards this woman. Their eyes met briefly and she caught his gaze. Suddenly, realizing how wrong it was to feel that way for a woman committed to another, he stepped away so that he would not be tempted thus again.

Amba looked at Bhishma’s broad shoulders, attracted to the rich baritone of his voice, and considered how he had readily agreed to her wishes, and for a moment found herself thinking, If Bhishma had abducted me for himself rather than the revolting Vichitraveerya, maybe I would have gladly married him. 

Then, suddenly ashamed of these thoughts passing through her mind, she chided herself, How dare you think of another, when your beloved Shalya is waiting for you.’

Bhishma left her at Shalya’s kingdom and rode away, but Shalya refused to accept Amba and sent her away. Heartbroken, Amba called for an audience with Bhishma. She did not want to marry Vichitraveerya and Shalya would not marry her. It was really Bhishma that she wanted to marry.

‘Oh, Great king Bhishma, Shalya refused to marry me, and since you abducted me, I am now your responsibility’, she said, hoping Bhishma would agree to marry her. She remembered his longing gaze as her hair flew across his face. His feelings were not lost on her. 

Bhishma did not know what to say. King Vichitraveerya had passed away as soon as he was married. Amba could no longer be married off to his cousin. He looked at the beautiful maiden in front of him. There were tears in her almond shaped eyes and she looked longingly at him. He knew he had wronged her by abducting her thus, and now it would be his responsibility to be her protector. 

He looked into her eyes and this time allowed them to penetrate his soul. A part of him wanted to embrace her and wrap his strong arms around her. He knew that she was his destiny. But then he remembered his vow. 

In another life, he would have been King and he would gladly have made her his queen. In another life, they would have been happy together and raised many children, and watched their kingdom and children prosper. In another life…but not this one. And then he sadly looked away.

‘I am bound by a vow of celibacy I gave my mother Satyavati, I can never marry. I can never become king.’

As much as Amba tried to convince him, he would not budge.  The love that had flowered between them was gratuitous, something that was not meant to be. It was a love story of two unfortunate people, beautiful and god-like in their own way, and the romance that blossomed between them, never bloomed into its full flourish.

                                                         *******************

Falling in love with someone you shouldn't, that isn't so uncommon. And, however brief the duration of the romance, it does sting your heart and leave a scar.

Linking back to the A to Z Challenge.

This day..last year....G for Giving

F for Faith

There can be no love without faith. It is said ‘feed your faith and all your doubts will starve to death, feed your doubts and see your faith wither away’.  Faith can be as delicate as glass or as strong as steel, depending on how you decide to treat it.

Here’s yet another tale from the Mahabharata that talks of faith, love and friendship, that will warm your heart just as it warmed mine.

                                                           ***************

Karna had come to the royal palace to meet his friend, Duryodhana, the crown prince of Hastinapur. He asked the soldiers for an audience with his friend. Duryodhana was away and thus he was met by Duryodhana’s wife, Bhanumathi.

“Greetings, brother Karna! Your friend is away and will be back by evening,” said Bhanumathi, offering him a glass of flavored water.

“Oh, is it?  I would like to wait here till brother Duryodhana returns,” said Karna, “I have something very important to discuss with him.”

Bhanumathi thought for a moment and then asked, “Brother Karna, would you like to play a game of dice with me until my Swami comes home?”

“I would like that very much Bhabhisri”, said Karna. “What are you putting at stake?” he asked following her to her chamber.

After the stakes were decided, they settled for a game of dice. As the game progressed, Karna appeared to be winning.

“Ah! Bhabhisri,” said Karna rubbing the dice in his hands gleefully, “Get ready to lose, for I just need a twelve for a win.”

Bhanumathi was about to say something witty, when she saw her husband entering her chamber. Seeing him, she immediately got up to greet him. Karna, whose back was to the door, did not see Duryodhana coming and thought Bhanumathi was quitting the game to avoid the embarrassment of losing to him.

“Bhabhisri, you cannot escape thus,” he mocked, tugging at her drape that was studded with hundreds of white pearls. “You must complete the game.”

Tugged at by his powerful hands, the thread of the pearls snapped and the entire chain of pearls on her drape rolled out onto the floor.

Bhanumathi was stunned. Would her husband misunderstand her and Karna? Would it make him angry? Would she be blamed for no fault of hers?

Looking at Bhanumathi’s expressions, Karna, turned to see what had shocked her. He saw Duryodhana at the door and was suddenly distressed and embarrassed beyond words himself.

What would his friend think? He not only had the audacity to play dice with his friend’s wife in her chamber but he had also committed the unpardonable act of catching her drape.

He stood transfixed not knowing what to say. Duryodhana would surely not tolerate such immodesty. He would be punished and so would Bhanumathi. He stood silently with his head bowed waiting to be sentenced.

Duryodhana looked at the both of them and smiled. “Should I just collect these pearls or should I string them as well?” he asked tongue-in-cheek.

Karna and Bhanumathi were both relieved hearing Duryodhana’s words and also ashamed for having misjudged the mighty King. He not only had immense faith and great love for his queen Bhanumathi, but his faith in his friend Karna was even implicit.

A faith so strong, that Karna never had to think twice before standing in support of his friend and Bhanumathi never had to question her husband's motives. 

                                                                   **************

 It takes great gumption to believe what you do not see, and to see what you believe, and that will become the basic foundation of faith.It is amazing how far a person can go when armed with someone’s love and unwavering faith.

Linking back to the A to Z challenge.

                                                                  **********

This day....last year...F for Forgive