The search...

Today was the last day of the search. She had searched everywhere. Everywhere that she could think of. She had looked at the streets and houses on palm tree road last week. And the week before that, she had searched every single house behind the huge village well. This week she had spent searching the houses near the school and the old kali temple. She hadn’t found it anywhere yet. Today she had tried looking in the houses and streets near the banyan tree and post office.

But like every day she had drawn a blank today too. She let out a sigh and sat down on the cemented patio outside her house. Perhaps she wasn’t destined to find it anyway. She wondered if she should just give up. No, she couldn’t give up so easily. There might be some other place she might have missed looking. She would think about it tomorrow.

Now where was the key to her cupboard? She needed to store her torch for use some other day. At least till she found ‘it’.

Ah! There was the key, saddled to a thin string of wire hanging by a rope on the wall. She hadn’t opened the cupboard in a very long time now. There were cobwebs and dust on the cupboard, a sign of utter neglect. She dusted the cobwebs off the door and opened the creaky little cupboard to keep the little torch away until she needed it later.

It was then that she saw it.

So here it was! Lying just behind the jar of happiness was the little rusty lamp of love!! What a fool she had been! She had been searching for that lamp of love everywhere. It had never occurred to her that it might be right under her nose. Only if she had tried opening the doors a little earlier!

The sighting....

CST was still a nightmare to her. After two years of living in the city that never sleeps, Sheela had still not got adjusted to life in Mumbai. As she waited for the train to arrive, she saw a shabbily dressed woman, with unkempt hair, a smattering of ash on her forehead, with a big round coin sized vermillion in the center, and pan stained lips, loitering nearby and throwing cursory glances at her. Sheela tightened her grip on her purse reflexively. Her purse had been picked a few days back and she had learnt to be more vigilant of her surroundings ever since .She walked a few paces ahead, as if standing next to that woman was some foreboding of ill luck. Every few minutes she looked back, checking on the woman, and seeing the woman look at her, would immediately turn away, looking elsewhere. There was something sinister about the way the woman looked at her, and she hoped the train would arrive soon and she would be spared the sight of her.

She usually took a local train to her workplace in Kalyan each day, but today she had missed it. She waited to board Udayan express that plied between Mumbai and Bangalore. The train would be crowded no doubt, but she could either board a crowded train or miss going to work. The only option seemed to be the former. She let out a sigh, not that anyone could hear it anyway. It was almost 8am, the train would arrive in another 5 minutes and she could be on her way. Going to Kalyan by this train would take longer, at least an hour, compared to the faster local trains, but today she did not have an option.

Just as she was about to start to work in the morning, her son had called up. He had met with a minor accident on the way to college, near Dadar station and some lady had taken him to the hospital. He was on his way back home and he needed her to stay back and give him the keys to their home. She had been worried sick about the well being of her son, and had placed a handful of khadi-saakhar (sugar cubes) in a small cup in front of the idol of Maa Durga, praying fervently for the safety of her only child. Maa Durga had been like a safety net for her and her son, always protecting them from any troubles.

She had been contemplating taking leave, but seeing that her son was ok, except for a few bruises, had decided to get back to work. Half her batch of colleagues had been given the pink slip, as the organization was cutting down on employees, and people who were not regular had received the first strike of the axe. She could ill-afford a lay off at this time of her life.

Udayan express finally chugged into the platform, and her nightmarish experience of boarding the train began all over again. People scurried to board seats, pushing past each other, stamping on each other’s feet, smearing each other with their sweat, so graciously awarded by the climate of the place. There was a huge morning crowd between her and the train, and even moving ahead was difficult. She heard the engine whistle, signaling that it was ready for departure, and an announcement was made to that effect.

The train had slowly begun to chug off and she was very close to getting in now. She doubted her ability to board a moving train but decided to give it a shot anyway. As she struggled to get into a compartment, her feet slipped in between the platform and the steps of the bogie, and she froze with fear as she realized what a nasty fall she was about to have; going head down and probably get crushed in between the platform and the train or under its wheels. A scream escaped her lips, even as she tried to grasp anything that could break her fall. In the fraction of second that ensued in between, she felt a firm hand grip her palm and pull her up. Her heart beat furiously, as she sat on the platform watching Udayan express pass by, clutching her reeling head with one hand and the hands of her savior with another as if she was afraid to let go. She felt her body go cold and numb with fear at the thought of what a close shave she had.

She felt a reassuring hand patting her head and stroking her back lovingly, telling her it was ok and she was now safe. Slowly she stood up and gratefully looked at her savior. She saw the same pan stained lips, before her eyes moved to the ash smeared forehead and the familiar face of the woman she had been thinking of as sinister all along. Her eyes filled with tears of shame and gratitude at the same time, and she broke down sobbing uncontrollably, hugging the very woman she had been running off from.

“Today seems to be a day of accidents,” remarked the woman, once Sheela had regained her composure, “A young boy was knocked down by a car near Dadar station in the morning, I took him to the hospital. And now you. I hope there are no more mishaps today. Here eat this, you’ll feel better” she smiled, placing a handful of khadi-saakhar in Sheela’s hands before walking away, humming a tune, leaving Sheela wonderng if it was the same "Prasad" she had offered Maa Durga in the morning!

Z is for Zen.....

Zen is a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind.  Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts. You become fully aware of your present and live in the now! Each moment is filled with profound clarity and peace. Each moment has significant, and precious. Zen brings us face to face with our true nature and lets us condition it into what we want it to be.

For me, this month has been nothing short of a Zen experience. I superseeded my own expectations of what I thought this month would do to me! I had imagined it to provide a catharsis for my feelings but instead it gave me so much clarity on what I wanted in life. It helped me get over a lot of feelings and nurture new ones. As I wrote about Appreciating whatever I have in life, and Believing in my own self, it gave me Courage to Dream and strive to make it a reality by Empowering myself. I realised the burden I was carrying by habouring hatred for those who had hurt me, and the best way to unload that burden and be at peace would be to Forgive. Likewise, sharing and Giving would be the best way to Happiness! I reiterated my faith in not losing my Innocence, and trying not to be Judgmental. The laws of Karma helped me heal, and also helped me in Letting go of the baggage I was carrying. I learnt to keep my faith in God, and learnt to look at every moment as a Miracle. Being Nonchalant in the face of anger, Organising my living space and my mind, Being Positive in the face of adversity, the ability to enjoying a few moments of Quiet every day, and prioritising the pair of spokes on the wheels of Relationships, added great value to how I led my life. Slowly but surely, the Smiles returned and I decided to keep my Trust in people intact, realising that I'm as Unique as anyone in this world. That was a huge victory over my fears and doubts and VIBGYOR was not just the colour of the rainbow but my life as well. I could now be more unabashed in Wishing for love, striving for Xcellence or just happily Yap about it all. It wouldn't be wrong to call this the Zen month. 

I read Shreeja's amazing story of love, Beloo's thoughts on putting India back in Indian education, Shilpa's A-Z for a happy marriage , Soumya's candid opinions, Ushaji's comprehensive list of Indian festivals, proactiveindian's short but thought provoking anecdotes, Ankur's heartfelt poems,Swati's short stories with thoughful endings, and the sunday vistor's diary , before I ended the day with David's soulful music. And when these guys came visiting they left behind heartfelt comments that infinitely warmed me up! Aparna, Peevee, kathy, lynda, Bikram,rajlakshmi, natasha, aditi, sheetal, and so many others kept up my journey alive with their comments and kind words.  I am guilty of not having replied personally to each valuable comment, but I want you all to know, that I read every word gratefully and it made me incredibly happy to see you keep visiting and commenting on my space.

I am happy I took up this challenge and finished it too. it put an end to my dormancy besides giving me the much needed insight into my own life!  

Y is for Yap..

There are people who talk and then, there are people who TALK. 

I obviously belong to the second category! It does not matter whether you are a known person or a stranger, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, or whether you even want to talk in the first place! Nothing can stop me from from chewing your brains off with my incessant chatter! Sometimes I feel, the term, 'nineteen to a dozen' was coined just for me!

No new place is new enough for me to keep my mouth shut. And no person is new enough for me not to begin talking to them. I can be at ease anywhere, with anyone. My mom says, I have the ability to make walls talk, if there's no living soul around! I often wondered if being this chatty was a disorder. I wondered why I have this urge to keep conversing?  For quite sometime I thought it was normal to be able to converse. But many stiff upper lips and polite smiles later I realised, that it wasn't!

I'm definitely not boring and don't talk nonsensical or hurtful things, but I always manage to find something in common and starting a conversation is never a difficult job for me. There are friends who've told me they are usually introverts and are amazed at how they could converse so much whilst with me. There are friends who wait for me to turn up at parties. It great to hear these things, but at the same time, I also wish I'd learn to tone down a little bit.

Hubby dearest once secretly recorded my conversation with our friends and later played it back to me. I was horrified, to say the least! Though it was an engaging conversation, I was yapping away like there'd be no tomorrow! I am sometimes amazed at the sheer amount of things I speak!

Blogging has definitely helped me channel all that I want to say. I wouldn't say I talk less now, but yes, it is way lesser than it used to be! 

X is for Xcellence

I have a helper at home, who helps me with the household chores. She is a bright, young girl, who works to support her college education and she is a total delight to have around the house. She works so systematically, putting things in order, removing every speck of dust, and cleaning the vessels to a sparkle. You will never hear vessels being dropped due to careless handling, or a drop of water spilled anywhere. In short, she is extraordinarily meticulous! The chores she does are mundane everyday routine jobs, but she does them with excellence day after day, and that’s what sets her apart. I have had helpers before; careless ones, the ones who brought their problems to work, and the ones who thought this is just another house, another job. And that is why, this girl not only gets paid more, she gets my respect and love too. She is just like family. I don’t mind giving her an entire fortnight off when she has her exams, because I know when she comes back, she will be ticking like precision clockwork!

While she does her job, she gives me an important lesson to learn. It doesn’t really matter what your field of endeavor is, the quality of your life is in direct proportion to your commitment to excellence. However “Excellence” does not mean “Perfection”. There is a fine thread that divides both; while excellence is a positive trait and it motivates you to do your best, trying to be perfect could be demotivating to the point of being frustrating. You don’t have to be perfect at all. Excellence does not mean being the best. It simply means doing your best. It means that you care for things more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical and expect more than others think is possible.

So, how does one achieve excellence? There is only one difference between just doing a job and excelling at it, and that difference is attention to details. This involves discipline and a tenacity of purpose. And by excelling in whatever field you are in, you become a yardstick of quality. Your value is automatically way above the rest. We have been raised to be competitive and life often becomes a competing ground, but aiming for a win or success is not as important as aiming for excellence. So keep your intentions high, your efforts sincere, and the execution intelligent and that will determine your destiny. 

"Going far beyond the call of duty, doing more than what others expect.....Is what XCELLENCE is all about".