Q is for Quiet

If you close your eyes and just try to listen to your surroundings, all you can hear are noises. Vehicles buzzing past, people talking, machines running, and if all this was enough, your own mind talking at about 35-40 thoughts per minute or an astounding 70,000 thoughts per day!!

No wonder we are caught in a very noisy world! What life has to say is drowned out mercilessly in all that noise. The more the noise, the more the chaos.

It would be nice to have a little quiet then, isn't it? By quiet I don’t mean silence. Silence would mean pushing the ‘off’ button, quiet means just turning down the volume knob on life. Quiet is peace. It is tranquility.  When you are quiet, you can hear life speak. Spending quiet time alone, gives our mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order. We can feel a surge of self-awareness, calm, and an awakening of our inner energies. When inner energies wake up, they work miracles without us having to put any efforts at all.

 Meditation is one powerful tool to help quieten the mind. Meditating everyday helps to control your thoughts and revitalizes your body.  It helps you be more aware of what you are thinking. You don’t need to become a saint and meditate for long hours each day, you can begin with just 5 to 10 minutes per day and see how incredibly powerful this is.

There will be initial hurdles when you begin to meditate, but by making it a daily habit, you will not only be able to stick to it, but also enjoy the therapeutic benefits it has on your life.

1. You can choose the time and place most appropriate for you, and ensure that you stick to that time every single day. Early mornings are the best times for some quality tranquillity.

2. You don’t have to sit, you may choose to lie down and meditate too.

3.  Start with deep breathing and notice how the air fills your lungs and how it flows out.

4.  Thoughts keep flowing into your mind, and you will be amazed at the number of thoughts you have. You don’t have to try and stop your thoughts; just let them flow, but concentrate on your breathing.

5. Gradually, over a period of time, you will find random thoughts disappearing and you will start focussing on thoughts most important to you. As time progresses, even these thoughts will disappear and the mind will be in a meditative state and the mind would have leaned to be quiet.

6. Initially you can meditate for 5-10 minutes and increase the time when you are comfortable.

It is a good idea to have some quiet time for yourself. Learning to quieten your mind has a lot of health benefits. You will find an increased ability to concentrate, more aware of your own self, your thoughts and your feelings, you will find your anxiety levels decreasing, and overall there will be a general feeling of well being.

P is for Positive thinking

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

And the task at hand seems uphill,

Pat your heart and close your eyes,

Take a deep breath, bid your worries goodbye,

All you need to do is smile and yell,

All izz well....all izz well!!

Things do go wrong a lot of times, don’t they? And when everything seems to be in the dumps, it is so easy to give up. But it is in these precise moments that we need to square up our shoulders, and lift our chins and tell ourselves that all will be fine. Nothing can work wonders the way a positive attitude can!!

Positivity is something I learnt from my Dad. Dad always jokes, that the reason he is so positive about everything is because his blood group is “B+ve”!! His positivity is infectious. You could be in the worst of situations, but he will always find something good about the whole thing. He believes that being positive helps you to look at things differently.

It lets you think.

It lets you find ways around the toughest of problems.

It lets you have faith in yourself.

When you look at things negatively, you do yourself more harm than good. You block out possible solutions, multiply your problems and you give up trying.  You will start looking at difficulty in every opportunity. But when you think positive, you will look at an opportunity in every difficulty. It’s may not always be easy to stay positive, I know that’s easier said than done, but not trying to be positive is like handing the negative thoughts a free reign in to your mind and allowing it to take over your thoughts. What a blow to your confidence that would be! So whenever a negative thought concerning your personal power comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out.

Positive attitude creates a chain of positive thoughts. So each day surround yourself with these words-

Nothing is impossible.

I know I can do it.

 Today is my day.

I am a winner.

May you find positivity in every aspect of your life!!!

O is for Organise

When everything around me seemed really chaotic, I realised how unorganised I had become. Apart from the various things and relationships I should have gotten rid of and was trying to hold on to, I was also having a lot of mental baggage. That’s when I learnt this mantra- being Organised.

Being organised does not mean getting rid of everything you own or trying to become a different person. It’s about living the way you want to live, but in a better way.  The more organised your life is, the calmer you will feel. It is like getting rid of the excess baggage. What you have left will be all of your favourite things from every part of your life.

The need to get organised is not limited to the physical surrounding. When your physical surrounding is cluttered, it clutters your mind and spirit. Because clutter is not just in the home, attic, garage or office; it is also in the mind. Clutter distracts you from the amazing things you are meant to do.  Once you de-clutter your life and keep it organised, you will not only get rid of the unnecessary but will also have plenty of time for the necessary.  A lot of us hang on to things, people, relationships and events like we are afraid to let it go. But organising your life is therapeutic, it is almost meditative.  Look at everything as a part of a story.... your story. Thank the items for having been a part of your story, close that chapter and move on.

Here are some tips to get your physical surroundings organised. Ask yourself these questions when you need to organise-

Do you need and use it regularly? Or are you saving it ‘just in case’? It is replaceable easily?

If you have not used it for one year, and not likely to use it in another five years, you are never likely to use it ever again. So there is no point saving it for a future time, unless it is very expensive and not available easily.

Does it have sentimental value? If it doesn’t, what are you saving it for?

Do you have more than one? We are adept in stocking up things, and unless we really need the spare ones, it makes sense to donate it to someone who may need it.

And finally ‘When in doubt throw it out’.

It is easier to organise objects than organising your mind. The mind is more fickle. It can take you on an elaborate guilt trip on one day and give you a good battering the very next day. So, when you need to organise your mind, these tips may be handy-

Accept situations as they are. You cannot change situations; you can only change your attitude towards it.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself a little love. It’s not always your fault.

Don’t fall in to the trap of guilt and fear. We often fall into this trap and end up holding a lot of emotional baggage.

You don’t have to be in control all the time. Let go of control.

Visualise what is important to you.

Focus on things that make you feel good.

Let go of things and people who pollute your life.

Keep what is worth keeping and throw away the rest.

Organising your life and mind is not about perfection, it is about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter and improving your overall quality of life. Here’s wishing you a clutter free life!!

N is for Nonchalance.....

I was riding pillion with my brother, when suddenly a little child ran into the road, apparently having broken free from his mother’s grip. My brother brought the vehicle to a screeching halt just in the nick of time, to avoid hitting the child. But an autorickshaw driver who was just behind us, did not expect us to stop so suddenly, and hit us from behind.

Well, before I continue, it will be imperative to tell you here, that the city where I live in, autorickshaw drivers behave like they are the kings of the road, and you could be a goner, if you happen to cause any damage to their vehicle, however microscopic that may be. All fellow autodrivers will come to a stop and 'gherao' you till you admit your mistake and shell out money. They will ensure to fleece you, and ensure that you make good the damage, irrespective of whether the money is put to the use for which it was demanded in the first place. Do people not go to the police? No, because the whole process could take so long, that you could end up paying much more, spending much more time, so settle the issue there and then is what people follow.

So coming back to the incident, no sooner than we parked our vehicle and got down, the autorickshaw driver was all over my brother. He used the choicest of expletives in the highest decibel his larynx could afford, accusing my brother of not driving safely. All this while, my blood boiled and I was dying to give the man a piece of my mind. But my brother listened to him calmly, not speaking a word. His face was calm, his body language unperturbed. His nonchalant attitude threw me off guard too!

I am sure, it disturbed the autodriver because it became apparent as the tone of the autodriver  began to change, he spoke less loudly, and the expletives were almost gone, like he had exhausted his quota, and he asked my brother, “How can you keep quiet, guru? Settle the issue.” My brother took out a bottle of water from his bag, and offered it to the driver, “Here, drink some water.”  The driver appeared enraged again, “I don’t want water, tell me how you plan to settle this issue” he demanded.  With a little coaxing from my brother in a calm voice, the driver was gulping down the water, he had just refused.

Then my brother took him to inspect the damage that had been caused to the auto. There was a slight dent on the front so my brother asked him how much he thought it would cost to get it repaired. The mother, whose child had caused the accident to occur, had been watching all this drama. She came up to thank my brother.  She apologised profusely and said if he hadn’t applied the brakes, the kid would have been injured very badly. Other auto drivers had started to gather, asking what was going on.

Can you believe my surprise, when that auto driver said, nothing’s going on, and asked them to clear off and not block the traffic! He apologised to my brother for using abusive language, without knowing why he had to stop so suddenly. He said he did not want to be compensated for the damage!

This was a first for me! What could never happen had happened!! Let me assure you, this NEVER happens in a similar scenario.

Being nonchalant without being apathetic in a volcanic situation is not the easiest thing to do. But I learnt that it pays not to lose your cool, to remain calm and listen to the other person’s point of view. It transformed two people, the autodriver and me.

M is for Miracles......

Have you ever wondered how every day is a miracle? In fact, every little thing that happens is a miracle. Maybe that is god’s way of telling us he will be there to hold our hands forever!  But we recognise miracles only when it is a matter of life and death.

It was a miracle that saved our car from falling off the cliff when we took a wrong turn on a dark rainy night, ascending the hill. If a couple of state transport buses had not appeared from nowhere, and honked madly, making us stop and back up, we would have had a free fall down the hill and perished.

It was a miracle that saved my second born from a fatal lung infection. it was a miracle that we could bring him home safe and healthy.

It was a miracle that the bus my father had been travelling in from Pune to Shiridi had swerved off the road to land in a valley below, and he did not have a scratch on his body.

Yes, these were definitely miracles, and we remember them because it involved our lives, it was a matter of life and death. But there are also several hundreds of little miracles, that happen every day and we don’t realise they are miracles too!

It was a miracle, when I was all alone, desperate to get to the hospital with a very sick child in hand, and there was absolutely no transport available because a very popular celebrity had just passed away, and just then a friend came out of nowhere and offered to take us to the hospital.

It was a miracle, finding and falling in love and marrying the man of my dreams. 

It was a miracle, when I held my first born in my arms for the very first time. It was a miracle when I thought I saw him smile at me. It was a miracle, when he first rolled over, took his first baby steps, and called me “mamma” for the very first time. It was a miracle being a mother for the very first time!!

It was a miracle, how I always found a solution to my problems. Miraculously, a friend would come by to help, or family would chip in, or even some stranger would appear out of nowhere. If there was no one, I would miraculously have sufficient strength to help myself.

It was a miracle when, my grandma, whom I have been the closest to, passed away, my heart overflowed with grief, and I never thought I’d recover from the tragedy, but I miraculously did.

Miracles happen; you could be down in the dumps or bursting with happiness, in grave danger of your life, or simply taking a walk in the park, when you are expecting them to happen or when you are least expecting them to happen.....but you know what is important? Knowing that miracles happen. You only have to trust.