Thank U!!

Every now and then,
when the world sits just right,
a gentle breeze of happiness
fills my soul with delight...

Over the past couple of months a lot of people have been filling my soul with delight and these guys - Anjan Roy  Kiara  theguyinthemirror  Diana  Aparna  Namrota and  Harshita have taken it one step ahead with bestowing me with various awards.  It is a great feeling to know you are recognised. To say I am 'Overwhelmed' would be too little to express how I feel. Thank you for coming to my blog and reading it and for being so kind. 

I have been putting off writing about this for no particular reason, but I feel obligated to thank these guys for their love. So thank you all once again. 

Here are some tidbits about me :)
1. I am  a huge " Kishore Kumar " fan...( in fact my idea of a lovely evening would be listening to Kishore da with a cup of hot chocolate and a plate of hot samosas while enjoying the rains outside...!! Ahh! makes me drool already!!)

2. I have a cute dimple on my left cheek when I smile (which is what most people notice and comment on when they first meet me..besides the fact that I'm an out an out extrovert!)

3.As much as I would love to sing Mr. Larynx thinks otherwise ( which leaves me exercising my vocal cords within the confines of my bathroom!!)

4. I love to cook and write poems.

5. I am a LEO and true to whatever Linda Goodman has ever said about Leos!! 

Divine love....!!

“What’s cooking mausi, smells divine!” I asked as mausi* opened the door to let me in.

“Gagan’s friend is coming to lunch, so I am making vegetable biryani” she said.

“ Ma, is lunch ready?” Gagan's tone was hurried, and he sounded like the meal was the only important thing on earth and all else including my banter could wait. 

“It’s just 12 o’clock now, I’ll keep lunch ready by 1 pm , ok? I don’t want food to get cold before we eat.”

“Ma, she’s not eaten breakfast, she’ll be very hungry,” he reasoned.

“What time are you expecting her?” asked mausi.

“1pm”

“Food will be ready before she comes, ok?”

“Ok” he mumbled under his breath, seemingly not satisfied with something and retired to his room.

“Girlfriend?” I asked in hushed a tone.

“Don’t know yet,” said mausi whispering, “I asked him, but he said they are just friends.”

A few minutes later, he emerged again. “We plan to see a movie on the DVD, hope you don’t mind.” Didn’t seem like a request, more of a statement.

“Sure.” Mausi replied winking at me.

He paced up and down the living room, and finally settled on the diwan, only to get up half a minute later.

“Looks like the spring mattress of the diwan is too hard for comfort,’ I teased.

He ignored my quip and walked to the balcony. He spent a few minutes peering here and there and walked back settling on the sofa and dialed some number on his mobile.

“Where are you?”…. “You’ve not yet started?”…. “How long will you take to reach here?”…… “Ok..when you reach the chowk, just call me,I’ll come and pick you up.”

He looked at the mobile awkwardly as if he was cut off in mid talk, and then, got up again and disappeared into his room.Time,they say, is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. 

Mausi and I exchanged animated looks, not speaking a word. The devil seemed to be unusually jittery.

He emerged a few minutes later again,” Ma, is lunch ready?”

I burst out laughing. He ignored me again and waited for his mother to answer.

“1pm” she replied without looking at him.

“She will be very hungry,” he started again.

“Should I add something more to the menu?” Asked Mausi, worried that the food may not be sufficient, plagued but Gagan’s ‘she’s very hungry’ line.

“No probs,” he said, “I’ll eat a little less.”

The last line drew jeering from me and a whistle, and it left him clearly embarrassed. He suppressed a smile and walked to the balcony again. Love, and a cough, it is said , cannot be hidden, and his face was clearly the worst hiding place for the fountain of emotions sprinkling out of it!

“Mausi, can we see the chowk from your balcony?” I said, loud enough for my cousin to hear.

“Network problem di,” he screamed back.

Another call. “Where are you?”… “Oh great, You’ve started?”…. give me a call when you reach here.”…. no probs, the chowk is 2 min from my house.”

He walked in with a triumphant smile, almost childlike enthusiasm on his face, cheeks and ears flushed pink.  “She’ll be here in another 10-20 minutes, Ma. Lunch’s ready na? I’m going to the chowk to get her.” 

I saw him bounce out of the door, shoes laces half tied, almost tripping and then delicately balancing himself like a ballerina, hitting his head with something that looked like a card and  an embarrassed smile spreading on his lips, as he saw the animated look on my face! 

Ah! love....Divine love……..

(*mausi- aunt) 

(image courtesy: google)

I surrender....

A glorious sunset, a breathtaking view,

Crimson corundums in different hues

“Padparadscha” ,shall I call it?

Lotuses into the sun infuse.

An expansive ocean dances below,

Pounding waves, frothy brine and the tidal flow

Circling seagulls, caressing breeze, and luminous clouds,

Complete the mesmerizing tableau.

Shimmering ripples, molten gold,

A pompous sight to behold,

Spreading as far as the eye can see,

Stretching beyond the threshold…

The waves creeping up to my feet,

Gently kissing before it retreats,

Spreading a sheet of tranquility,

Making me feel blessed and complete!

Oh! Supreme artist and creator,

I bow before you in prayer,

Soaked in the beauty of your creations,

I surrender… I surrender….I surrender.

(image courtesy: google...)

* "Padparadscha" is a corundum, the colour which is a blend of the Srilankan lotus and yellow sapphire.

Who is to be blamed?

 The Godmen, the bureaucrats, the politicians, and all those self styled moral protectors of the society have strained their voices hoarse over who is to be blamed for the growing crimes against women and have given every possible atrocious solutions to the issue, ranging from covering up the women from head to toe, to keeping her indoors, restricting her to house hold work, from blaming her for not calling her tormentors as brother, to asking her not to step out with any other person other than her own relatives. The conclusion being that the victim is to be blamed for the crime than the perpetrator!

Let us for an instant nod our heads tamely and accept the blame. But how on earth would the so-called moral guardians explain similar assaults on children as young as 2 or 3 and women as old as 60 or 65? When will they accept that, what is lacking is a moral value, what is driving the crime is perhaps frustration or an unsound mind, and what will help is not victimizing the victim but taking steps to ensure that such things do not happen. Isn't it a shame that we are more focused in telling the woman how she should behave, what she should wear or where she can go, rather than pulling up the criminal?

Sacrificing the girl child

Something as simple as letting the girl child live, could save thousands of other girls. Aren’t the two connected? Ironical? Paradoxical? Yet they seem to be connected. It has been discussed on a number of platforms how the decreasing number of girls, has led to a pathetic situation for the men. We have seen how some states are “buying” women for their boys from other states, how men are sharing brides in a blatant repeat of the Mahabharata, and how assaults are the order of the day where neither a bride could be brought nor shared.

So why not let the girl child live and create a healthy ratio of men and women so that such situations do not arise at all? 

Lack of moral Education

By education I do not just mean basic schooling, yes where there is none, the need is for a basic education as well. But the education has to extend beyond the books, beyond mathematics and science and English. Moral education and sex education has to be taught in schools, whether in a rural area or urban. Education is more than a luxury; it is a responsibility that society owes to itself.

Children are more exposed than ever to uncensored content on the internet, newspapers and television. The curiosity to know about the other sex and to experiment is on the rise. With no information from parents at home and teachers in school, they are left at the mercy of information from unreliable sources. Children are not getting enough information about the biological and emotional aspects of sex. 

Talking to the children at home in a open atmosphere, responding to their doubts, teaching them to respect not only women but everyone else and treating others with dignity, from a very young age will inculcate good values that will stay on with them throughout life .

Troubled youngsters should be identified at the school level and counseled at the early stage so that  any  wrong notions are nipped in the bud. An education isn`t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It`s being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don`t and between whether you know right from wrong.

 Frustration 

Frustration at not having a job, at being treated unjustly, at being ridiculed can manifest itself in a toxic way.  A depressed or frustrated individual wants to still feel in control, feel powerful and will do anything to feel so, even if it means resorting to the wrong methods. It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.

While the politicians are busy exercising their power, the rich are becoming wealthier thus adding to their power , we, the middle class, are struggling to keep up with life, even as there is a class below us which is starved of the basics.  They are the most exploited, by politicians and by the business class. And when they turn to crime, we suffer.

Unless there is a direction to their lives and they get to eat well and live well, their frustrations will continue to be directed at us, as the other two are too powerful to be harmed.

These three points may be inter-related or separate. They have to be dealt in terms of how and where they exist. But the clean up has to happen at all levels, the cobwebs have to be removed from every corner . The approach has to go beyond the routine blame game. 

When the roots are rotting, there cannot be healthy fruits and flowers, can there be? 

This post is part of the contest Who is to be blamed? on WriteUpCafe.com

Better safe than sorry!

In my previous post I talked about how fear psychosis was getting the better of women around me and how I have resolved not to let fear get into my already frazzled nerves. So I thought I’d share some views on how to keep you safe rather than fearful. 

1. Look around you as you take a walk in the park, on the streets, anywhere for that matter. 8/10 people are busy talking on their mobiles or listening to songs, with their ears and hence their minds completely sealed out from their surroundings.

 

Always be aware of your surroundings. 

This applies whether you are traveling alone or in groups. Don’t just focus inwardly on your thoughts, or keep your self busy with your phone if you are alone. Even if your friends are together, don’t get lost amidst the chatter. 

If you are used to listening to your walkman while outside, drop this habit, especially in isolated areas. With your walkman on, you cannot hear the approach of a possible attacker.

Keep one eye out for your environment, looking out for suspicious characters, possible danger, etc.

Also, don’t assume that because your area has been “safe” thus far, that it will continue to be so.  If you see people loitering on the streets near your house, call the police on a non emergency number and report it.

2. Remember that criminals look out for easy targets. Slouched walk or panicky walk makes you look like an easy victim. 

       Walk with a straight posture and your arms swinging by your sides. 

Look up and look confident. Look an attacker in the eye. It usually scares the attacker now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up; you lose appeal as a target. Carry something like an umbrella or anything you can use as a weapon.

3. Change routes/mode of travel

We often stick to the same routes and mode of travel everyday seldom bothering to change it. By changing your route/ mode of travel often you can avoid being attacked or harassed from those who know your schedule, method and route of travel. 

Avoid taking the road less traveled, even if it means you take a little longer. Avoid unfamiliar areas, or unsafe areas. 

If you are riding by bus or train, do not sit on the window seat as you may be "blocked in" by a potential assailant. Always select the seat next to the aisle so that you can quickly leave if necessary.

If you are taking public transportation alone after peak hours, sit as close to the driver as possible and/or choose the section of the bus/train that is most crowded. Try to get a seat near the exit as well. Your safety is more important.

4. Tell others about your whereabouts

Parents, spouses or friends should know where you are going and when you will be back, so that your absence will be noticed.

5. Trust your instincts.

The ‘gut’ feeling is more often right than wrong. 

If you are walking somewhere and feel strange or scared, don’t ignore this feeling. Take extra precautions by walking a little faster to get to a more populated or well-lit area or change the route you’ve been driving on.

If you think you are being followed, change your route and activity.

You can cross the street, change directions, or enter a populated building or store. Do whatever is necessary to avoid being alone with the person who is following you. Inform a police officer or security official about the follower.

Mentally note houses at intervals on each route you take that can be used as "safe houses" if you are attacked, such as shops or houses that you know to be occupied by a friend or acquaintance.

Attract attention if you are in a dangerous situation.

Get others to pay attention to what's happening to you if you are under attack or being harassed. You can alert others by honking a car horn or loudly describing what is happening. Shout “fire” instead of “help” to attract attention. Attackers are known to leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back

Danger can lurk anywhere, in elevators, staircases, parking lots, public transport, college campuses, on streets and even closer home. You cannot control the mind of the attacker, but you can keep yourself safe by being alert and confident. Whether or not they are punished is beyond our realm, but being safe is within.

Better to be safe than sorry!