S- 5 reasons to say Sorry

Sorry. A five-lettered word, but how difficult it is to say it! As kids, we are taught that Sorry is one of the five golden words. While we have no qualms about saying the others, ‘sorry’ doesn’t come as easily. But of all the words, ‘Sorry’ has the most power to set things right. Don’t let the ego come in between. Say Sorry when it’s needed.

Here are 5 reasons why you should say Sorry.

Makes you feel lighter instantly.

When you genuinely apologise for some wrong doing, it lifts a heavy burden off your chest. Whether we accept it or not, our mind always knows when are wrong. And then we carry that burden all along, without realising how much it impacts our well-being.

Makes the other person forgive you.

I remember an incident where a friend had hurt me with such harsh words that stung for hours after they were spoken. It left a very bitter feeling about that person, and I vowed never to interact with her again. But within a couple of days, she called up and profusely apologised. I could see that she really meant it. It made me forget everything that was spoken and I willingly forgave her. I also realised how little it takes to set something right. One heartfelt ‘sorry’, was all that was needed.  

Makes other people see things from your point of view.

When you say sorry, it brings any argument or feeling of one-up-man-ship, crashing down. The invisible wall of hostility that gets built-up, breaks down and allows the other person to see and understand your point of view.  

Makes your little ones learn from it.

As our kids grow, they learn from everything we do. They mimic our actions, copy our behaviour and learn from our mistakes. When you apologise to someone, the little ones learn that committing a mistake is wrong but they can make it right by apologising. They learn to respect relationships and feelings more than their egos. Don’t you want to set the right example for your kids?

It’s for yourself.  

Saying sorry and meaning it, is more for our own sense of relief than for the person we have wronged. Irrespective of whether the other person forgives you or not, it will help you to be rid of guilt and help you to move on. Help yourself heal. Say Sorry.

R- 5 reasons why you must learn to Relax!

Our schedules are so tightly packed these days that we are constantly flitting from one activity to the other. Irrespective of whether you are a homemaker, are working outside, or are a student, there’s hardly a minute to spare for yourself! In the process, you end up fatigued, worried and irritated all the time. Only if you’d slow down a bit a take some time out to relax, you’d see that you can complete all your tasks without keeling over from trying too hard.

Here are 5 reasons why you must learn to relax.

Panicking and worrying is not going to make things right.

Sure, there’s a whole of things that keeps us on our tentacles – work that is pending, work that has deadlines, work that expects us to be in many places at the same time, work that is not going as per plan, or work that drives you crazy because the other people involved in it aren’t as dedicated as you are! But panicking or worrying isn’t going to get you anywhere. Things will happen when they have to happen.  

A relaxed mind can take more rational decisions.

You will agree that we hardly take our best decisions when we panic or worry. We tend to shout, argue, fight, feel discouraged, or angry when the mind isn’t relaxed. But if you take some time out to relax, you’ll see that your mind can react to situations and adversities much better. You will be able to take better decisions.

Relaxing increases productivity.

A relaxed mind is more creative and productive. When you give yourself a time out and spend time doing deep breathing exercises, meditating, smelling the flowers, simply lying down, or taking a nap, the areas in the brain responsible for creative thinking are activated. People brainstorm better, are able to memorize better, concentrate better, study better, and handle work stress better after a power nap. So, next time you find yourself in a jam, just reach for the pillow!

A relaxed person has a calming influence on their surroundings.

A relaxed mind is contagious. People around you tend to calm down if you are relaxed. An agitated person tends to increase the tension in their surrounding but a relaxed person dissipates the existing tension.

Relaxing helps keep illness at bay.

Relaxing helps to calm the body and mind. It prevents stress and depression. It also prevents high blood pressure, migraines and such illness which are all a manifestation of panicking and worrying. What is the use of spoiling the health and regretting later?  

Take time out from your busy schedules and relax. The body needs to rejuvenate and recoup. Don’t deny it it’s due.  

Q - 5 irritating Questions that people ask and how to tackle them!

Our lives are never private. There are people all around us trying to poke their noses into everything we do or don’t. They are so interested to know every little thing that goes on in our lives that it becomes a pain answering them.  

Are you free? they will ask. Your time is never your own. You will be expected to run errands, complete their child’s project, or whatever. But if you refuse to help, saying you have your own work to complete, they have the next question ready.

How much do you earn? they will want to know. Hah! They really expect you to tell them the figures? Don’t answer it, but if you did, well, God save you. If they think you are earning well, they will pop the next question.

Why are you single? What a waste of your life, if you aren’t yet married by the ‘correct’ age that society has set for you. Perhaps they will give you a cursory look and try to reason why marriage has evaded you.  

Why don’t you do something about your colour/ size? Poor souls. Don’t they know that one can do absolutely nothing about the colour of your skin, height and err…weight?  But when you eventually get married, you know what they will ask next...

When will you have a child? As if having a child is the sole reason why people get married!

After having given you the headache of a marriage and a child and seeing you run around like a headless chicken, will they get off your back? No! They will come back to question #1.  

Are you free?

So, here are 5 ways to tackle these irritating questions.

Use humour.

Find a funny way to reply back to irritating questions. If someone’s pestering you with the why aren’t you married question, roll your eyes and say, ‘Oh my, are you jealous?’, or wink and say, ‘Amn’t I lucky?’, or better, ‘Because I love bread pakoda more’!

Ask another question.

It always irritates people when you answer a question with another question. If someone’s asks, how much do you earn, say, ‘Why is that important to you?’, or ask them the same question, ‘How much do you earn?’ or even tongue-in-cheek, ‘Why, aren’t you paid enough?’

Be vague.

Giving vague answers which give out nothing about what they want to know is a clever way of getting them off your back. If someone asks, ‘What price did you sell your house for?’  say, ‘Even a million bucks would not be enough payment for this lovely home,’ or ‘Money is just a number, can it buy happiness?’

Give them an irrelevant and lengthy explanation.

If people have come looking for spice, give it to them. Take them round and round in circles, giving them all sorts of irrelevant information and take up so much of their time that they will think twice before asking personal questions again.

Refuse to answer.

Just refuse to answer. People aren’t expecting you to refuse to answer them. Knock them over with a refusal, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t want to answer that.’ Simple.

What's your trick? 

P - 5 kinds of People we should be grateful for having in our life!

Life would be so lonely and burdensome if there was no one to share in our grief and happiness. Blessed are those who have someone who glue them back when they are broken. If you are one of those blessed beings who have a go-to-person, to fall back on, then hold on to them tightly and take time out today to send them a heartfelt 'thank you'!

Here are 5 kinds of people whom we should be definitely grateful to! 

People who make you smile.

I'm sure there's at least one such gem in your life. Even if your chips are down and out, and you are struggling for breath, they know exactly how to make you smile and laugh. Just seeing them lifts your spirits. They may not always dole out the best of advice but from them, you will learn that life is too short to be taken so seriously!  These are ones that make life worthwhile!

People who motivate.

These are the people who always have your back. They will egg you on to do what you want to do, assure you that your dreams deserve to be realised and support you when you feel low. With them you’ll be always full of energy. You can dare to share your weirdest and most impossible looking aspirations and they’ll tell you that you can achieve it too! And no, they will never judge you no matter what you do.

People who are honest.

Everyone loves honesty as a quality, and yet, we don’t like people who are truthful. Quite a paradox? Yes, because truth is bitter. We label people who are honest as unthoughtful, rude, and harsh, but they have your best intentions at heart. They tell you things without mincing words. They are way better than those who sugar coat their words but aren’t really bothered about you. Keep the honest ones close.

People who love you and help you unconditionally.

To receive unconditional love is such a blessing. Yet, we take these people who shower us with unconditional love for granted. Are there people who have been there for you and have always helped you in your times of need without expecting anything in return? Never forget to show gratitude to these people. No, they will never stop loving you even if you don’t reciprocate, but won’t they be thrilled if you do? 

People who listen.

We all need our 3 a.m. friend. The person who will be there to listen to our woes, to give us their shoulder to cry on, to hug us when we need it the most, no matter whether it is day or night. It's easy to give advice but it takes a special person to just listen without judging. These are the people that you can depend upon the most. There’s nothing that can comfort us more than a person who can you can give us a patient hearing, is there? Well, don’t forget to return the favour when they need you.

Who are these people in your life? Know who they are and keep them close. Perhaps, there’s just one such person in your life, but they might be a combination of two or more qualities or maybe even all 5. I hope you revere them for the sunshine they bring into your lives.

O - 5 reasons why you shouldn’t Overwork yourself.

No one really has a 9-5 job anymore! Irrespective of whether you are an IT professional, marketing executive, doctor, banker, a teacher or a housewife, the one thing that’s common is exhaustion due to overwork. Every employer is looking at how productive the employee is, every home maker is looking at what extra can be done or has to be done in order to push through the day and in general everyone is slaving their behinds off overworking, till it kills them. The Japanese have a word for it - Karoshi - which translates to, death due to overwork.

But working those extra hours, slogging away till you fall down dead is not really a great way of living, isn't it? 

Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t overwork yourself.

Is work all there is to life?

Whether you work at home or at the workplace, remember that work is only one part of your life. There are several other things that make your life complete - your family, spouse, parents, family, interests, hobbies, and travel. Making one part of your life seem like your entire life, is like just living 10% of your life, and neglecting to live the rest. Just like it is important to eat a proper ratio of carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals in order to have a healthy body, it is important to play, relax, and enjoy along with the work that you do.

Live before it's too late!

If you continue to neglect all other parts of your life, they will start neglecting you too. The kids grow up before you have spent enough time with them, the parents are no more around to share in your happiness and grief, the spouse and friends move on with their lives, and finally you are too old to travel or even pursue your hobbies. Remember that song by Doris Day? Well, listen to it here!

It's later than you think!!

It takes a big toll on your health.

Overworking is stressful. To stay relevant in the rat race, you not only have to be productive but also increase your productivity. All this leads to a chronic stressful condition. Soon, it manifests as panic attacs, heart disease, obesity, insomnia, depression, back aches, headaches, stroke etc. Your appetite is affected, sleep patterns are affected and the dearth of exercise and relaxation takes a big toll on your health. Eat well, exercise, sleep well. These are as important as working hard.

If not now, when?

What use are the money, fame, and name you have earned if you have not spent them well? Whom are you saving it for?

 Statistics say that most people who spend their lives overworking, die with more than 90% of their wealth unused in their lifetime.

A friend of mine has a three-storied bungalow which employs several servants for its upkeep. In addition to maintenance expenses, they also pay a huge amount as EMI. The couple are successful in their respective jobs but hardly have time to eat and very little time to spend in their own homes! It makes me wonder for whom they are working so hard for? 

Let's not die with regrets.

No one wants to die with regrets. Imagine being someone who's spent the entire life just working, unable to enjoy their hobbies and dreams, and in the twilight years, wonder how an entire lifetime has passed by. Why die with unachieved dreams, unfulfilled desires, and unshed inhibitions?

The point of this post is not to tell you to stop working. It is to make you aware that there’s more to life than merely work. Don’t forget to give an equal share of the pie to every aspect of your life. Don’t say, I’ll travel when I retire or I’ll enjoy when I am free of responsibilities. Remember that all these aspects have to be taken care of simultaneously so that you can live a fulfilling and happy life.