R- 5 reasons why you must learn to Relax!

Our schedules are so tightly packed these days that we are constantly flitting from one activity to the other. Irrespective of whether you are a homemaker, are working outside, or are a student, there’s hardly a minute to spare for yourself! In the process, you end up fatigued, worried and irritated all the time. Only if you’d slow down a bit a take some time out to relax, you’d see that you can complete all your tasks without keeling over from trying too hard.

Here are 5 reasons why you must learn to relax.

Panicking and worrying is not going to make things right.

Sure, there’s a whole of things that keeps us on our tentacles – work that is pending, work that has deadlines, work that expects us to be in many places at the same time, work that is not going as per plan, or work that drives you crazy because the other people involved in it aren’t as dedicated as you are! But panicking or worrying isn’t going to get you anywhere. Things will happen when they have to happen.  

A relaxed mind can take more rational decisions.

You will agree that we hardly take our best decisions when we panic or worry. We tend to shout, argue, fight, feel discouraged, or angry when the mind isn’t relaxed. But if you take some time out to relax, you’ll see that your mind can react to situations and adversities much better. You will be able to take better decisions.

Relaxing increases productivity.

A relaxed mind is more creative and productive. When you give yourself a time out and spend time doing deep breathing exercises, meditating, smelling the flowers, simply lying down, or taking a nap, the areas in the brain responsible for creative thinking are activated. People brainstorm better, are able to memorize better, concentrate better, study better, and handle work stress better after a power nap. So, next time you find yourself in a jam, just reach for the pillow!

A relaxed person has a calming influence on their surroundings.

A relaxed mind is contagious. People around you tend to calm down if you are relaxed. An agitated person tends to increase the tension in their surrounding but a relaxed person dissipates the existing tension.

Relaxing helps keep illness at bay.

Relaxing helps to calm the body and mind. It prevents stress and depression. It also prevents high blood pressure, migraines and such illness which are all a manifestation of panicking and worrying. What is the use of spoiling the health and regretting later?  

Take time out from your busy schedules and relax. The body needs to rejuvenate and recoup. Don’t deny it it’s due.  

Q - 5 irritating Questions that people ask and how to tackle them!

Our lives are never private. There are people all around us trying to poke their noses into everything we do or don’t. They are so interested to know every little thing that goes on in our lives that it becomes a pain answering them.  

Are you free? they will ask. Your time is never your own. You will be expected to run errands, complete their child’s project, or whatever. But if you refuse to help, saying you have your own work to complete, they have the next question ready.

How much do you earn? they will want to know. Hah! They really expect you to tell them the figures? Don’t answer it, but if you did, well, God save you. If they think you are earning well, they will pop the next question.

Why are you single? What a waste of your life, if you aren’t yet married by the ‘correct’ age that society has set for you. Perhaps they will give you a cursory look and try to reason why marriage has evaded you.  

Why don’t you do something about your colour/ size? Poor souls. Don’t they know that one can do absolutely nothing about the colour of your skin, height and err…weight?  But when you eventually get married, you know what they will ask next...

When will you have a child? As if having a child is the sole reason why people get married!

After having given you the headache of a marriage and a child and seeing you run around like a headless chicken, will they get off your back? No! They will come back to question #1.  

Are you free?

So, here are 5 ways to tackle these irritating questions.

Use humour.

Find a funny way to reply back to irritating questions. If someone’s pestering you with the why aren’t you married question, roll your eyes and say, ‘Oh my, are you jealous?’, or wink and say, ‘Amn’t I lucky?’, or better, ‘Because I love bread pakoda more’!

Ask another question.

It always irritates people when you answer a question with another question. If someone’s asks, how much do you earn, say, ‘Why is that important to you?’, or ask them the same question, ‘How much do you earn?’ or even tongue-in-cheek, ‘Why, aren’t you paid enough?’

Be vague.

Giving vague answers which give out nothing about what they want to know is a clever way of getting them off your back. If someone asks, ‘What price did you sell your house for?’  say, ‘Even a million bucks would not be enough payment for this lovely home,’ or ‘Money is just a number, can it buy happiness?’

Give them an irrelevant and lengthy explanation.

If people have come looking for spice, give it to them. Take them round and round in circles, giving them all sorts of irrelevant information and take up so much of their time that they will think twice before asking personal questions again.

Refuse to answer.

Just refuse to answer. People aren’t expecting you to refuse to answer them. Knock them over with a refusal, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t want to answer that.’ Simple.

What's your trick? 

P - 5 kinds of People we should be grateful for having in our life!

Life would be so lonely and burdensome if there was no one to share in our grief and happiness. Blessed are those who have someone who glue them back when they are broken. If you are one of those blessed beings who have a go-to-person, to fall back on, then hold on to them tightly and take time out today to send them a heartfelt 'thank you'!

Here are 5 kinds of people whom we should be definitely grateful to! 

People who make you smile.

I'm sure there's at least one such gem in your life. Even if your chips are down and out, and you are struggling for breath, they know exactly how to make you smile and laugh. Just seeing them lifts your spirits. They may not always dole out the best of advice but from them, you will learn that life is too short to be taken so seriously!  These are ones that make life worthwhile!

People who motivate.

These are the people who always have your back. They will egg you on to do what you want to do, assure you that your dreams deserve to be realised and support you when you feel low. With them you’ll be always full of energy. You can dare to share your weirdest and most impossible looking aspirations and they’ll tell you that you can achieve it too! And no, they will never judge you no matter what you do.

People who are honest.

Everyone loves honesty as a quality, and yet, we don’t like people who are truthful. Quite a paradox? Yes, because truth is bitter. We label people who are honest as unthoughtful, rude, and harsh, but they have your best intentions at heart. They tell you things without mincing words. They are way better than those who sugar coat their words but aren’t really bothered about you. Keep the honest ones close.

People who love you and help you unconditionally.

To receive unconditional love is such a blessing. Yet, we take these people who shower us with unconditional love for granted. Are there people who have been there for you and have always helped you in your times of need without expecting anything in return? Never forget to show gratitude to these people. No, they will never stop loving you even if you don’t reciprocate, but won’t they be thrilled if you do? 

People who listen.

We all need our 3 a.m. friend. The person who will be there to listen to our woes, to give us their shoulder to cry on, to hug us when we need it the most, no matter whether it is day or night. It's easy to give advice but it takes a special person to just listen without judging. These are the people that you can depend upon the most. There’s nothing that can comfort us more than a person who can you can give us a patient hearing, is there? Well, don’t forget to return the favour when they need you.

Who are these people in your life? Know who they are and keep them close. Perhaps, there’s just one such person in your life, but they might be a combination of two or more qualities or maybe even all 5. I hope you revere them for the sunshine they bring into your lives.

O - 5 reasons why you shouldn’t Overwork yourself.

No one really has a 9-5 job anymore! Irrespective of whether you are an IT professional, marketing executive, doctor, banker, a teacher or a housewife, the one thing that’s common is exhaustion due to overwork. Every employer is looking at how productive the employee is, every home maker is looking at what extra can be done or has to be done in order to push through the day and in general everyone is slaving their behinds off overworking, till it kills them. The Japanese have a word for it - Karoshi - which translates to, death due to overwork.

But working those extra hours, slogging away till you fall down dead is not really a great way of living, isn't it? 

Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t overwork yourself.

Is work all there is to life?

Whether you work at home or at the workplace, remember that work is only one part of your life. There are several other things that make your life complete - your family, spouse, parents, family, interests, hobbies, and travel. Making one part of your life seem like your entire life, is like just living 10% of your life, and neglecting to live the rest. Just like it is important to eat a proper ratio of carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals in order to have a healthy body, it is important to play, relax, and enjoy along with the work that you do.

Live before it's too late!

If you continue to neglect all other parts of your life, they will start neglecting you too. The kids grow up before you have spent enough time with them, the parents are no more around to share in your happiness and grief, the spouse and friends move on with their lives, and finally you are too old to travel or even pursue your hobbies. Remember that song by Doris Day? Well, listen to it here!

It's later than you think!!

It takes a big toll on your health.

Overworking is stressful. To stay relevant in the rat race, you not only have to be productive but also increase your productivity. All this leads to a chronic stressful condition. Soon, it manifests as panic attacs, heart disease, obesity, insomnia, depression, back aches, headaches, stroke etc. Your appetite is affected, sleep patterns are affected and the dearth of exercise and relaxation takes a big toll on your health. Eat well, exercise, sleep well. These are as important as working hard.

If not now, when?

What use are the money, fame, and name you have earned if you have not spent them well? Whom are you saving it for?

 Statistics say that most people who spend their lives overworking, die with more than 90% of their wealth unused in their lifetime.

A friend of mine has a three-storied bungalow which employs several servants for its upkeep. In addition to maintenance expenses, they also pay a huge amount as EMI. The couple are successful in their respective jobs but hardly have time to eat and very little time to spend in their own homes! It makes me wonder for whom they are working so hard for? 

Let's not die with regrets.

No one wants to die with regrets. Imagine being someone who's spent the entire life just working, unable to enjoy their hobbies and dreams, and in the twilight years, wonder how an entire lifetime has passed by. Why die with unachieved dreams, unfulfilled desires, and unshed inhibitions?

The point of this post is not to tell you to stop working. It is to make you aware that there’s more to life than merely work. Don’t forget to give an equal share of the pie to every aspect of your life. Don’t say, I’ll travel when I retire or I’ll enjoy when I am free of responsibilities. Remember that all these aspects have to be taken care of simultaneously so that you can live a fulfilling and happy life.

N - 5 ways to say NO!

How often have been have you been inundated with requests to help someone, accompany someone somewhere, complete the project on someone’s behalf, take someone’s place at work, at home, at some family function, babysit someone’s kid, or run an errand for someone…but you have been so neck deep with your own commitments and have wanted to refuse. But…you ultimately ended up saying yes, taking on an additional responsibility, straining yourself and wishing you could have somehow politely refused?

Happens all the time? Well, you aren’t alone. Many people find it difficult to say ‘NO’. Out of the fear of hurting someone, out of wanting to return someone’s favour, out of respect for someone position, whatever the reason, they get bullied into taking up tasks they would have wanted to refuse. They end up stretching themselves too much, get all worked up and end up short of pulling out their hair in despair!

Before you give in, consider these points.

Know your limits.

You are a human, not a robot. There’s only so much you can accomplish in a day. It’s therefore very important to know how much you can stretch yourself without keeling over. You know your routine, your commitments, and your limitations. Before you accept anything more, mentally find out if you can take up additional responsibility.

Prioritise.

Of course, you cannot always give importance to your own work. There might be people who genuinely need your help. See, if you can prioritise the work, yours and the other person’s in order of importance, urgency, and need for your interference. If the work cannot happen without you, then you might have to make provision for it.

If you know that: 

a) the work doesn’t need you to be a part of it, 

b) the other person is simply using your goodness to transfer their burden to you, 

c) you yourself are flooded with work and 

d) it’s neither urgent nor important enough for you to leave everything and attend to it, here’s what you can do.

Say NO without actually saying it!

Take time to answer.

Never be in a hurry to reply. Many time, after we have accepted the responsibility, we think, ‘I should have said this’ or ‘I should have checked with my schedule first’, but we have already committed and then we cannot back out.

Take your time. Say, ‘Can I get back to you?’ Tell them, you’ll let them know if you can take the responsibility after checking with your commitments. That gives you time to plan your work. If it is feasible, you can help and if it isn’t you will know what to say.

 ‘You’ set the deadline.

Do a quick mental math. How much time will you need to finish your commitments before you can go about helping them? Tell them that you can do them the favour but not before a particular date or time. That way, you aren’t refusing them directly, but they also know that they cannot bully you into accepting their undue request. Say, ‘I can do this on Saturday’ or ‘I am free only after 4 pm.’ And if they are in a hurry, they will have to look for someone else.

Refer help.

If someone keeps leaving their kid with you to babysit every time they have to go out, suggest a babysitter. If someone needs you to shop for them, teach them how to do it themselves online. That way, first, you are not really refusing help, second, you are teaching them how to help themselves and third, they’ll get the hint that you are not always inclined to oblige and that they cannot take you for granted.  

Ask for a return of favour.

If someone wants you to take their place at work while they take a vacation, make sure to tell them you will want them to swap places with you in the immediate week after. If someone wants you to run an errand or babysit or complete a project, make them do the same or something else for you. But make sure they return the favour.

If they agree, it will be a fair exchange, or else it will give you an escape from them forever! They will not be able to ask you for a favour again, and if they still do, you will have the right to refuse. And people who are simply trying to take advantage of your goodness without themselves intending to help will not be able to face you again.

Say NO.

Sometimes, people don’t stop harassing you, or promise to return favour but don’t or don’t get hints. In such cases, don’t hesitate to say NO directly. ‘Sorry, but I cannot help you this time. Maybe, next time,’ should suffice. Be polite, smile and refuse.

Don’t get me wrong.

I don’t mean to suggest that one should be selfish and self-occupied all the time. Our society thrives only when we help one another. But at times, there are people who take advantage of the fact that you cannot refuse or those who try to put their burden on you so that they can enjoy. There’s no harm putting your foot down with such people and letting them know that you will not be taken for a ride.

Do you agree?