P - 5 kinds of People we should be grateful for having in our life!

Life would be so lonely and burdensome if there was no one to share in our grief and happiness. Blessed are those who have someone who glue them back when they are broken. If you are one of those blessed beings who have a go-to-person, to fall back on, then hold on to them tightly and take time out today to send them a heartfelt 'thank you'!

Here are 5 kinds of people whom we should be definitely grateful to! 

People who make you smile.

I'm sure there's at least one such gem in your life. Even if your chips are down and out, and you are struggling for breath, they know exactly how to make you smile and laugh. Just seeing them lifts your spirits. They may not always dole out the best of advice but from them, you will learn that life is too short to be taken so seriously!  These are ones that make life worthwhile!

People who motivate.

These are the people who always have your back. They will egg you on to do what you want to do, assure you that your dreams deserve to be realised and support you when you feel low. With them you’ll be always full of energy. You can dare to share your weirdest and most impossible looking aspirations and they’ll tell you that you can achieve it too! And no, they will never judge you no matter what you do.

People who are honest.

Everyone loves honesty as a quality, and yet, we don’t like people who are truthful. Quite a paradox? Yes, because truth is bitter. We label people who are honest as unthoughtful, rude, and harsh, but they have your best intentions at heart. They tell you things without mincing words. They are way better than those who sugar coat their words but aren’t really bothered about you. Keep the honest ones close.

People who love you and help you unconditionally.

To receive unconditional love is such a blessing. Yet, we take these people who shower us with unconditional love for granted. Are there people who have been there for you and have always helped you in your times of need without expecting anything in return? Never forget to show gratitude to these people. No, they will never stop loving you even if you don’t reciprocate, but won’t they be thrilled if you do? 

People who listen.

We all need our 3 a.m. friend. The person who will be there to listen to our woes, to give us their shoulder to cry on, to hug us when we need it the most, no matter whether it is day or night. It's easy to give advice but it takes a special person to just listen without judging. These are the people that you can depend upon the most. There’s nothing that can comfort us more than a person who can you can give us a patient hearing, is there? Well, don’t forget to return the favour when they need you.

Who are these people in your life? Know who they are and keep them close. Perhaps, there’s just one such person in your life, but they might be a combination of two or more qualities or maybe even all 5. I hope you revere them for the sunshine they bring into your lives.

O - 5 reasons why you shouldn’t Overwork yourself.

No one really has a 9-5 job anymore! Irrespective of whether you are an IT professional, marketing executive, doctor, banker, a teacher or a housewife, the one thing that’s common is exhaustion due to overwork. Every employer is looking at how productive the employee is, every home maker is looking at what extra can be done or has to be done in order to push through the day and in general everyone is slaving their behinds off overworking, till it kills them. The Japanese have a word for it - Karoshi - which translates to, death due to overwork.

But working those extra hours, slogging away till you fall down dead is not really a great way of living, isn't it? 

Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t overwork yourself.

Is work all there is to life?

Whether you work at home or at the workplace, remember that work is only one part of your life. There are several other things that make your life complete - your family, spouse, parents, family, interests, hobbies, and travel. Making one part of your life seem like your entire life, is like just living 10% of your life, and neglecting to live the rest. Just like it is important to eat a proper ratio of carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals in order to have a healthy body, it is important to play, relax, and enjoy along with the work that you do.

Live before it's too late!

If you continue to neglect all other parts of your life, they will start neglecting you too. The kids grow up before you have spent enough time with them, the parents are no more around to share in your happiness and grief, the spouse and friends move on with their lives, and finally you are too old to travel or even pursue your hobbies. Remember that song by Doris Day? Well, listen to it here!

It's later than you think!!

It takes a big toll on your health.

Overworking is stressful. To stay relevant in the rat race, you not only have to be productive but also increase your productivity. All this leads to a chronic stressful condition. Soon, it manifests as panic attacs, heart disease, obesity, insomnia, depression, back aches, headaches, stroke etc. Your appetite is affected, sleep patterns are affected and the dearth of exercise and relaxation takes a big toll on your health. Eat well, exercise, sleep well. These are as important as working hard.

If not now, when?

What use are the money, fame, and name you have earned if you have not spent them well? Whom are you saving it for?

 Statistics say that most people who spend their lives overworking, die with more than 90% of their wealth unused in their lifetime.

A friend of mine has a three-storied bungalow which employs several servants for its upkeep. In addition to maintenance expenses, they also pay a huge amount as EMI. The couple are successful in their respective jobs but hardly have time to eat and very little time to spend in their own homes! It makes me wonder for whom they are working so hard for? 

Let's not die with regrets.

No one wants to die with regrets. Imagine being someone who's spent the entire life just working, unable to enjoy their hobbies and dreams, and in the twilight years, wonder how an entire lifetime has passed by. Why die with unachieved dreams, unfulfilled desires, and unshed inhibitions?

The point of this post is not to tell you to stop working. It is to make you aware that there’s more to life than merely work. Don’t forget to give an equal share of the pie to every aspect of your life. Don’t say, I’ll travel when I retire or I’ll enjoy when I am free of responsibilities. Remember that all these aspects have to be taken care of simultaneously so that you can live a fulfilling and happy life.

N - 5 ways to say NO!

How often have been have you been inundated with requests to help someone, accompany someone somewhere, complete the project on someone’s behalf, take someone’s place at work, at home, at some family function, babysit someone’s kid, or run an errand for someone…but you have been so neck deep with your own commitments and have wanted to refuse. But…you ultimately ended up saying yes, taking on an additional responsibility, straining yourself and wishing you could have somehow politely refused?

Happens all the time? Well, you aren’t alone. Many people find it difficult to say ‘NO’. Out of the fear of hurting someone, out of wanting to return someone’s favour, out of respect for someone position, whatever the reason, they get bullied into taking up tasks they would have wanted to refuse. They end up stretching themselves too much, get all worked up and end up short of pulling out their hair in despair!

Before you give in, consider these points.

Know your limits.

You are a human, not a robot. There’s only so much you can accomplish in a day. It’s therefore very important to know how much you can stretch yourself without keeling over. You know your routine, your commitments, and your limitations. Before you accept anything more, mentally find out if you can take up additional responsibility.

Prioritise.

Of course, you cannot always give importance to your own work. There might be people who genuinely need your help. See, if you can prioritise the work, yours and the other person’s in order of importance, urgency, and need for your interference. If the work cannot happen without you, then you might have to make provision for it.

If you know that: 

a) the work doesn’t need you to be a part of it, 

b) the other person is simply using your goodness to transfer their burden to you, 

c) you yourself are flooded with work and 

d) it’s neither urgent nor important enough for you to leave everything and attend to it, here’s what you can do.

Say NO without actually saying it!

Take time to answer.

Never be in a hurry to reply. Many time, after we have accepted the responsibility, we think, ‘I should have said this’ or ‘I should have checked with my schedule first’, but we have already committed and then we cannot back out.

Take your time. Say, ‘Can I get back to you?’ Tell them, you’ll let them know if you can take the responsibility after checking with your commitments. That gives you time to plan your work. If it is feasible, you can help and if it isn’t you will know what to say.

 ‘You’ set the deadline.

Do a quick mental math. How much time will you need to finish your commitments before you can go about helping them? Tell them that you can do them the favour but not before a particular date or time. That way, you aren’t refusing them directly, but they also know that they cannot bully you into accepting their undue request. Say, ‘I can do this on Saturday’ or ‘I am free only after 4 pm.’ And if they are in a hurry, they will have to look for someone else.

Refer help.

If someone keeps leaving their kid with you to babysit every time they have to go out, suggest a babysitter. If someone needs you to shop for them, teach them how to do it themselves online. That way, first, you are not really refusing help, second, you are teaching them how to help themselves and third, they’ll get the hint that you are not always inclined to oblige and that they cannot take you for granted.  

Ask for a return of favour.

If someone wants you to take their place at work while they take a vacation, make sure to tell them you will want them to swap places with you in the immediate week after. If someone wants you to run an errand or babysit or complete a project, make them do the same or something else for you. But make sure they return the favour.

If they agree, it will be a fair exchange, or else it will give you an escape from them forever! They will not be able to ask you for a favour again, and if they still do, you will have the right to refuse. And people who are simply trying to take advantage of your goodness without themselves intending to help will not be able to face you again.

Say NO.

Sometimes, people don’t stop harassing you, or promise to return favour but don’t or don’t get hints. In such cases, don’t hesitate to say NO directly. ‘Sorry, but I cannot help you this time. Maybe, next time,’ should suffice. Be polite, smile and refuse.

Don’t get me wrong.

I don’t mean to suggest that one should be selfish and self-occupied all the time. Our society thrives only when we help one another. But at times, there are people who take advantage of the fact that you cannot refuse or those who try to put their burden on you so that they can enjoy. There’s no harm putting your foot down with such people and letting them know that you will not be taken for a ride.

Do you agree? 

M - 5 tips to Tame the Monkey Mind

Our mind is a tricky place. Billions of thoughts cross our mind every day, vying for attention and action!  Studies say that a staggering 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts cross the human mind per day, which means that we think anywhere between 40- 50 thoughts in a minute or about one thought per second!

Well, that’s not all, because the thoughts do not just come to our mind, they criss-cross, jump, meander and wander at will! And before you realise it, a simple thought can run into hundreds of parallel or unconnected thoughts in a single moment! How does one tame this monkey mind that shows no keenness to slow down?

Be Aware.

With our thoughts running at the speed of light or maybe faster, we carry out most activities without even being aware of it. In the morning, we get into our cars and begin our drive, say, to our office. The next thing we realise is that we are already parking our car in the parking lot. We are not even aware how we drove to office! In fact, we do every task as if we are automated machines. We eat, but we have no idea what we ate or how much we ate! We start a task, and we continue doing it, all the while letting our minds be plagued by a million thoughts.

That is why it is so important to bring awareness into whatever you do. Don’t focus on the past or the future but limit your thoughts to the present. Employ all your senses when you do a task.  When you eat, devote yourself to eating. Look at the food, smell its aroma, feel the texture with your hand, and tongue, pleasure your taste buds and feel it fill your stomach and heart. Express gratitude to the Lord for putting food on your plate. Chew every morsel well.

Don’t resist your thoughts.

If you resist your thoughts, they tend to persist – much like a nagging child. Don’t shoo them away. Instead, develop the art of listening to your mind. Listen to what the mind keeps chattering about all the time. Give it a patient hearing. Listening helps to not just have clarity in your thoughts but also to lets you plan what should be done about it. If you just keep pushing the thoughts out of the mind, they keep coming back with renewed vitality and continue to occupy your mind space.

Be thankful.

Being grateful for everything that we experience in our day to day life is a simple yet underrated practice. When the mind is filled with thankful thoughts, it begins to fill our heart with joy. Slowly it becomes a part of our thoughts. Negative thoughts are replaced with positive ones.

Meditate.

Meditation is easier said than done. But learning to sit quietly for a little time every day, learning to breathe well, to relax and simply let the mind idle away can have long lasting benefits.  Meditation is known to bring about physiological, psychological and physical changes in us- every cell in the body undergoes change and is filled with energy and healing. It is this renewed vigour in the cells that results in the positive changes that occur in the body.

As you learn to meditate, your breathing becomes more rhythmic, heart rate stabilises, and the mind and the body relax. With regular practice of meditation, you will be able to sleep better, stay stress-free, and even concentrate better.

Sleep well.

Sleeping well is quite important to have a healthy body and a healthy mind. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, so that the body’s internal clock falls into a pattern. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another, so choose your sleep hours according to your lifestyle. Eat light. Limit technology at bed time. Over a period of time, not only will the body learn to relax completely but your mind will learn to calm down as well. 

L - 5 beautiful Love poems

Love is a beautiful emotion. It is the basis for any relationship, be it between parent and child, man and woman, between siblings, or friends. But what forms the basis of love? Here are 5 beautiful poems that sum up the essence of love.

Express it!

 True, isn’t it? What use is the love that you hold in your heart? Show it and shower it on the one you love. Love without expression is like a song without the music and lyrics! 

Overlook the faults.

We all have our flaws, yet we expertly pick the imperfections of our loved ones. Learn to overlook the failings of the other if love is to blossom.  

Don’t change.

Is it love that changes with time? The most beautiful stories of love are of those who have stood together like rocks in good times and bad.  

Give space.

Love can be suffocating if there’s no space. Two individuals cannot always have the same interests, likes, and dislikes.  Learn to give space for the both of you to grow and give a chance to discover each other all over again. 

Mind the tongue.

Harsh words once spoken are like the bullet that has been fired from a gun. No matter what you do, the damage it causes cannot be undone. Hence mind your tongue and resist the urge to spew venom in your bitter moments. The moments will pass but the poison will stay forever.

Conversely, not conversing can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. So keep the communication going always. 

What's your favourite love poem?