S is for Smile....

Anyone will vouch for the power of smiles! It is one of those contagious little things that you can catch anywhere and when you do, you also pass it around inadvertently. On our morning walks we meet strangers on the jogging track, people whom we see every day at the same place but have never stopped to talk to, yet we smile at each other with a nod of the head that is supposed to mean good morning! And over a period of time it feels like you know practically everyone! A smile is that powerful weapon, with which you can break even ice!!

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love. Let me share a few lines from this wonderful poem that says it all-

Sometimes you don't find the right words for certain situations, but in such situations a smile can speak a lot. Words have this ability to confuse, but smiles have this ability to convince. So take time out to smile.....even at a stranger......someone out there may be in desperate need of it.....you never know whom you have brought happiness with your smile. 

R is for Relationships....

We come into this world alone and we leave it alone. And in between, we get into relationships, some beautiful and some ugly. On one hand, there are relationships that teach us to love, share, bond, and trust, and on the other, there are relationships that teach us to choose wisely, by hitting us where we’d hurt the most. Good or bad, we need these relationships to make our existence in the world meaningful. Relationships will not grow by themselves, and like plants, they need to be nurtured. Here are five pairs of spokes that I think keeps the wheels of relationships going-

Trust and Honesty- Trust is the most important factor in a healthy relationship. A relationship is the weakest when there is more doubt than trust. Trust is as important to a relationship as air to the lungs. It is not easy to rebuilding trust when it has been broken. There’s a saying which says, trust is like a cup delicate and fragile, once broken can be mended, but the crack will always be there. And that is why it is also important to be honest and truthful.

Communication and dumping your ego - Lack of communication kills more relationships than any argument or fights can. Talking things out clears so many issues, but for some strange reason, people would rather stay quiet than communicate.  Body language is also an important mode of non verbal communication. A good hug, a reassuring pat, an understanding nod, a loving gaze…there are so many ways to communicate. So even if it is uneasy or uncomfortable, keep all doors to communicating open. The ego always comes in between a good relationship, so skip the E and let it GO! Turn the “M” in ME upside down so it always reads WE. When there is no ego, it opens the doors to communication.

Love and Respect- You always get respect when you give respect. And with respect comes love. When things are bitter in a relationship, it is difficult to respect the other person and what they say. And that is when we tend to speak disrespectfully and hurtfully. But most fights end some day, the bitter words may be forgotten, but how you made someone feel, will never be forgotten.  

Understanding and patience- Agree that you will not have similar opinions about everything, and will disagree more than you will ever agree. When there is disagreement the floodgates of anger open up and we tend to say so many things that we wouldn’t have if we had been patient. Just like no two fingers are the same, no two people are the same, and so opinions will always differ. Being patient lets us understand the other can think differently, and this understanding makes relationships last longer.

Forgive and forget- To err is human, to forgive divine, it is said. Easier said than done. No one’s perfect, and mistakes do happen. But when the relationship is more important than the mistake, it would do good to forgive and forget, not as a rule though.

Q is for Quiet

If you close your eyes and just try to listen to your surroundings, all you can hear are noises. Vehicles buzzing past, people talking, machines running, and if all this was enough, your own mind talking at about 35-40 thoughts per minute or an astounding 70,000 thoughts per day!!

No wonder we are caught in a very noisy world! What life has to say is drowned out mercilessly in all that noise. The more the noise, the more the chaos.

It would be nice to have a little quiet then, isn't it? By quiet I don’t mean silence. Silence would mean pushing the ‘off’ button, quiet means just turning down the volume knob on life. Quiet is peace. It is tranquility.  When you are quiet, you can hear life speak. Spending quiet time alone, gives our mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order. We can feel a surge of self-awareness, calm, and an awakening of our inner energies. When inner energies wake up, they work miracles without us having to put any efforts at all.

 Meditation is one powerful tool to help quieten the mind. Meditating everyday helps to control your thoughts and revitalizes your body.  It helps you be more aware of what you are thinking. You don’t need to become a saint and meditate for long hours each day, you can begin with just 5 to 10 minutes per day and see how incredibly powerful this is.

There will be initial hurdles when you begin to meditate, but by making it a daily habit, you will not only be able to stick to it, but also enjoy the therapeutic benefits it has on your life.

1. You can choose the time and place most appropriate for you, and ensure that you stick to that time every single day. Early mornings are the best times for some quality tranquillity.

2. You don’t have to sit, you may choose to lie down and meditate too.

3.  Start with deep breathing and notice how the air fills your lungs and how it flows out.

4.  Thoughts keep flowing into your mind, and you will be amazed at the number of thoughts you have. You don’t have to try and stop your thoughts; just let them flow, but concentrate on your breathing.

5. Gradually, over a period of time, you will find random thoughts disappearing and you will start focussing on thoughts most important to you. As time progresses, even these thoughts will disappear and the mind will be in a meditative state and the mind would have leaned to be quiet.

6. Initially you can meditate for 5-10 minutes and increase the time when you are comfortable.

It is a good idea to have some quiet time for yourself. Learning to quieten your mind has a lot of health benefits. You will find an increased ability to concentrate, more aware of your own self, your thoughts and your feelings, you will find your anxiety levels decreasing, and overall there will be a general feeling of well being.

P is for Positive thinking

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

And the task at hand seems uphill,

Pat your heart and close your eyes,

Take a deep breath, bid your worries goodbye,

All you need to do is smile and yell,

All izz well....all izz well!!

Things do go wrong a lot of times, don’t they? And when everything seems to be in the dumps, it is so easy to give up. But it is in these precise moments that we need to square up our shoulders, and lift our chins and tell ourselves that all will be fine. Nothing can work wonders the way a positive attitude can!!

Positivity is something I learnt from my Dad. Dad always jokes, that the reason he is so positive about everything is because his blood group is “B+ve”!! His positivity is infectious. You could be in the worst of situations, but he will always find something good about the whole thing. He believes that being positive helps you to look at things differently.

It lets you think.

It lets you find ways around the toughest of problems.

It lets you have faith in yourself.

When you look at things negatively, you do yourself more harm than good. You block out possible solutions, multiply your problems and you give up trying.  You will start looking at difficulty in every opportunity. But when you think positive, you will look at an opportunity in every difficulty. It’s may not always be easy to stay positive, I know that’s easier said than done, but not trying to be positive is like handing the negative thoughts a free reign in to your mind and allowing it to take over your thoughts. What a blow to your confidence that would be! So whenever a negative thought concerning your personal power comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out.

Positive attitude creates a chain of positive thoughts. So each day surround yourself with these words-

Nothing is impossible.

I know I can do it.

 Today is my day.

I am a winner.

May you find positivity in every aspect of your life!!!

O is for Organise

When everything around me seemed really chaotic, I realised how unorganised I had become. Apart from the various things and relationships I should have gotten rid of and was trying to hold on to, I was also having a lot of mental baggage. That’s when I learnt this mantra- being Organised.

Being organised does not mean getting rid of everything you own or trying to become a different person. It’s about living the way you want to live, but in a better way.  The more organised your life is, the calmer you will feel. It is like getting rid of the excess baggage. What you have left will be all of your favourite things from every part of your life.

The need to get organised is not limited to the physical surrounding. When your physical surrounding is cluttered, it clutters your mind and spirit. Because clutter is not just in the home, attic, garage or office; it is also in the mind. Clutter distracts you from the amazing things you are meant to do.  Once you de-clutter your life and keep it organised, you will not only get rid of the unnecessary but will also have plenty of time for the necessary.  A lot of us hang on to things, people, relationships and events like we are afraid to let it go. But organising your life is therapeutic, it is almost meditative.  Look at everything as a part of a story.... your story. Thank the items for having been a part of your story, close that chapter and move on.

Here are some tips to get your physical surroundings organised. Ask yourself these questions when you need to organise-

Do you need and use it regularly? Or are you saving it ‘just in case’? It is replaceable easily?

If you have not used it for one year, and not likely to use it in another five years, you are never likely to use it ever again. So there is no point saving it for a future time, unless it is very expensive and not available easily.

Does it have sentimental value? If it doesn’t, what are you saving it for?

Do you have more than one? We are adept in stocking up things, and unless we really need the spare ones, it makes sense to donate it to someone who may need it.

And finally ‘When in doubt throw it out’.

It is easier to organise objects than organising your mind. The mind is more fickle. It can take you on an elaborate guilt trip on one day and give you a good battering the very next day. So, when you need to organise your mind, these tips may be handy-

Accept situations as they are. You cannot change situations; you can only change your attitude towards it.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself a little love. It’s not always your fault.

Don’t fall in to the trap of guilt and fear. We often fall into this trap and end up holding a lot of emotional baggage.

You don’t have to be in control all the time. Let go of control.

Visualise what is important to you.

Focus on things that make you feel good.

Let go of things and people who pollute your life.

Keep what is worth keeping and throw away the rest.

Organising your life and mind is not about perfection, it is about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter and improving your overall quality of life. Here’s wishing you a clutter free life!!